September 9th surgery

[Doodles]

Melissa--
Been gone a few days but wanted to say how sorry I am that this keeps happening to you. I want to just say I totally agree with Jennifer's assessment and advice. I too wish we had some magic to take away this pain. Sure thinking of you and hoping for better days. Janet

[mabeckoff]

I think that you are correct about the fibro causing my pain. Dr Bederman said that she was a fibro doctor but she wasn't really. She is really a pain management
doctor. I would so love to find a good fibro doctor here in CA.

Thanks everyone for your good wishes. I am sorry that I am such a complainer lately

[walkingmom]

You are not a complainer

Melissa,
There is no need to apologize for your recent posts. You are definitely not a complainer. Even with all that you are going through now, you continue to be a cheerleader for those on the forum. Please know that even though I don't post that often, I have been praying that you will get much needed relief really soon.
Donna

[JenniferG]

How are you today Melissa? I notice you told us recently your house purchase fell through. I am wondering if fibromyalgia has an emotional component (I know very little about it.) I believe emotional upsets can increase pain, and am wondering if this flare up isn't connected to the upset over the house. I know how badly you want to get settled. To have gone through all this whilst living in limbo, wouldn't have helped, I feel.

I hope the pain is easing up for you today.

[mabeckoff]

Thanks Donna and Jennifer. Fibro is most definitively affected by emotions. I have to try and remember what pain I had prior to my first surgery and refer to that
pain as my fibro and not get so upset about it. Today is ok . My husband and I are going to look at two houses this afternoon. Hopefully one will work out

[mabeckoff]

Today is not a good day at all. Many many stresses in my life that caste fibro pain. Besides the surgical pain which turns my fibro pain intense, we did put a bid in
on a house. Now my husbands credit report stinks because of all the medical bills we are trying to deal with. So we are waiting to see if we get the mortgage
before we can put in a bid. On top of that, my inlaws are coming Feb 2 for a week because my MIL needs to spend her BD with her son. So in this tiny little place we are living, we are going to have guests. On top of that , now my Daughter wants to come and celebrate her grandmother's BD. So they are gracing up with
their presence for a whopping total of 4 days.

Thanks for listening

[JenniferG]

How inconsiderate people can be! I bet that's raised your stress levels.

[golfnut]

Melissa,
I feel for you. It's tough to play hostess when you aren't feeling 100%. Will your daughter and husband & maybe MIL help with meals, cleaning up, etc.? Maybe you can go out to eat a few meals . . . Good luck!

[mabeckoff]

Melissa,
I feel for you. It's tough to play hostess when you aren't feeling 100%. Will your daughter and husband & maybe MIL help with meals, cleaning up, etc.? Maybe you can go out to eat a few meals . . . Good luck!

I don't even know what is going to happen with my daughter's visit. I had a fight with her last night on FB. I do want her to come in March when we should be in our new house and her brother has a week off of school. But she keeps saying she wants to be here for her gm's 75th BD. Her BF wants to go to LA and
sightsee one day and she wants to see her cousin who lives in San Diego. I said it seems like you are coming to CA for many reasons except to visit with your
parents and brother. Her answer is than we will not come.

I am so upset
.

[LSKOCH5]

Oh Melissa, I'm so sorry you're having a time of it, over & over again. Wish there were some way to shut off the pain, at least at night so you could rest. Can you ask your husband to talk w his mother about her getting a hotel room because of your pain? He's got help take off the emotional burden so you aren't completely overwhelmed. I've seen how badly stressful situations & overdoing shut my daughter down for weeks afterward (at 18yo she is recovering from Epstein Barr, some just call it fibromyalgia). By protecting you from being overwhelmed, he not only helps your recovery, but also the wellbeing of your marriage & life together.
And as someone earlier said, thank you for always reaching out to others on the board.
We're rooting for you.

[JenniferG]

It's easy to say this with hindsight, but teenage daughters are really good at being hurtful. What I have learned is that we're best off ignoring it and just accepting the snippets of their time/attention/caring no matter how small and few and far between they are, and making the best of it. Because one day they grow up and lose that aggression and that chip on their shoulders. And some even become really loving.

It's your MIL I'm concerned about. I do hope your husband steps up to the plate and protects you.

[mabeckoff]

Well, I started my aggressive PT/OT today.After I got evaluated I was hooked up to a TENS unit; neck ,upper back and lower back. They let me lie there for 30
minutes .It was so nice. Then she gave me a massage with a very nice warm cream. Boy , did I feel good. Next I did some neck strengthening exercises. Finally, I finished up with a pulley system to work on my shoulders.She spoke to Dr Bederman and now I get to go 3X a week instead of twice. So hopefully this will help me .
We will not know anything about the house until Tuesday as Monday is a Federal Holiday so we just have to wait. If it is meant to be , then we will get it.

We have decided that we will let my daughter and her "friend" come next month when she wants . We will just accept "whatever snippets of her time/attention/
caring she will give us." Thanks to Jennifer


I have ,also, told my husband again that I am not cooking and cleaning the entire visit. In addition, I told my husband that my son is not giving up his room again
so my FIL can sleep in his room.

Thanks for listening to me and just being here for me. I need you folks so much

[JenniferG]

It's nice to hear you enjoyed that massage etc. Melissa. It sounded lovely. I hope that since you enjoyed it so much, that it will also do you a lot of good. Three times a week is great, and gives you something to look forward to, without much of a wait between appts. Really pleased to hear that bit.

Also glad you're going to relax a bit where your daughter's concerned. I really think, from my own experience, it's best to let them give you what they are prepared to give you, and just accept that and enjoy it as much as we can, without expectations of more. I know that's probably easier said than done, but if you can get into that frame of mind, it will be so much easier on you, and also on the relationship with your daughter and it gives her a chance to grow up and maybe appreciate you a lot more. Wishing you the best with that, because I know that having a nice relationship with our kids is very important and emotionally healthy.

I hope your husband can deal with his parents in a way that gives you some peace as well.

Let us know how your PT continues and best of luck with the house!

[Doodles]

Melissa--
Just a note to say Yahoo! The massage, etc. sounded great for you and 3 x's a week will be even better. Something that works! Once again I am going to echo Jennifer especially about family and daughters. Having 4 daughters I think she is absolutely right. They can certainly drive you insane in so many ways and you just have to stand back and realize this too shall pass. Give them the chance to want to come to you. I think you've made some good decisions about this today. Plus, as they get older--it really does make a difference. My oldest turns 35 this week--now that's scary. Wedding #4 is in June. I think I might make it through. Hang in there! Just concentrate on healing. Janet

[mabeckoff]

Thanks Ladies your advice makes me feel better.

Today is a horrible day. My meds are not working at all. My left leg keeps collapsing. My left leg still has pins and needles in it