Chair versus bleachers

[susancook]

I just got a tat on my forearm which symbolizes God pulling me through the pain of my preop life. It looks like torn flesh with my nickname Bionica in the center. My family gave me this nickname postop. The artist put a 2.5 inch screw in the "A" representing the size of my largest screws.

I am almost 67 and do not currently have any tattoos. I spent 30 years in the Navy Reserves, 5 on active duty the remainder as a weekend warrior. Tattoos in the Navy have a whole different meaning. i always thought that I wanted a tattoo, a small flower in a discrete spot. Now, I am thinking about having a tattoo up my spine, kind of low with small vine of flowers on each side, with the phrase "Back by Dr. Hu". My mother will roll over in her grave when she hears about a tattoo! She had difficulty accepting that I had my ears pierced. She was a southern Victorian woman. I won't seriously consider doing it until I am entirely happy with my fusion, which will be at year 1 or 2. If I do it and we have a reunion, I will proudly show it off!

Sorry that we hijacked your thread, I still think that you should bring your chair.
Susan.....maybe the tattooed woman in the future

Susan

[back2life]

Tattoos

I am almost 67 and do not currently have any tattoos. I spent 30 years in the Navy Reserves, 5 on active duty the remainder as a weekend warrior. Tattoos in the Navy have a whole different meaning. i always thought that I wanted a tattoo, a small flower in a discrete spot. Now, I am thinking about having a tattoo up my spine, kind of low with small vine of flowers on each side, with the phrase "Back by Dr. Hu". My mother will over in her grave when she hears about a tattoo! She had difficulty accepting that I had my ears pierced. She was a southern Victorian woman. I won't seriously consider doing it until I am entirely happy with my fusion, which will be at year 1 or 2. If I do it and we have a reunion, I will proudly show it off!

Sorry that we hijacked your thread, I still think that you should bring your chair.
Susan.....maybe the tattooed woman in the future

Susan

You are right. They have many different reasons. When I worked at an elementary school, it was hard with the kids asking about the one on my wrist, but I always said that I had gotten it when I was an adult and it had very special meaning (it's a double infinity for my two children).

I think when you are ready you need to do what is best for you! Yes I am sure your mother will be upset but she does not know what you have been through and what it would mean to you. I love what Biannca (I believe that is her name) had done with hers especially the screw. It would show people what is in our body!

And I am with you on when I get it done. I am only at 11 weeks so I want to really be happy with my fusion as well so I can be certain of if and what I want.

Continued healing to you.

[back2life]

You are right. They have many different reasons. When I worked at an elementary school, it was hard with the kids asking about the one on my wrist, but I always said that I had gotten it when I was an adult and it had very special meaning (it's a double infinity for my two children).

I think when you are ready you need to do what is best for you! Yes I am sure your mother will be upset but she does not know what you have been through and what it would mean to you. I love what Biannca (I believe that is her name) had done with hers especially the screw. It would show people what is in our body!

And I am with you on when I get it done. I am only at 11 weeks so I want to really be happy with my fusion as well so I can be certain of if and what I want.

Continued healing to you.

Thank you for your service as well!

[back2life]

I just got a tat on my forearm which symbolizes God pulling me through the pain of my preop life. It looks like torn flesh with my nickname Bionica in the center. My family gave me this nickname postop. The artist put a 2.5 inch screw in the "A" representing the size of my largest screws.

Love it!!!

[susancook]

You are right. They have many different reasons. When I worked at an elementary school, it was hard with the kids asking about the one on my wrist, but I always said that I had gotten it when I was an adult and it had very special meaning (it's a double infinity for my two children).

I think when you are ready you need to do what is best for you! Yes I am sure your mother will be upset but she does not know what you have been through and what it would mean to you. I love what Biannca (I believe that is her name) had done with hers especially the screw. It would show people what is in our body!

And I am with you on when I get it done. I am only at 11 weeks so I want to really be happy with my fusion as well so I can be certain of if and what I want.

Continued healing to you.

I think that you mean Doreen above, and yes, her tattoo must be awesome and so creative. It is individual and speaks to her experience. Hmmm.....maybe I need to be more creative with mine in the future.

Predictably, my mom would say, "Susan why on earth did you do that?" And my dad who does not have a tattoo would say, "that's really neat!". To me, it is interesting that I still worry about what my deceased mom would say. Who is the social worker in the group? Maybe I need to see her for counseling!

So, backtolife, you also keep healing. It is a 1 to 2 year healing process, so don't make premature decisions about feelings of spine surgery outcome, like I and so many others do. You need to wait until the dust settles and see the final result.

Susan

[back2life]

I think that you mean Doreen above, and yes, her tattoo must be awesome and so creative. It is individual and speaks to her experience. Hmmm.....maybe I need to be more creative with mine in the future.

Predictably, my mom would say, "Susan why on earth did you do that?" And my dad who does not have a tattoo would say, "that's really neat!". To me, it is interesting that I still worry about what my deceased mom would say. Who is the social worker in the group? Maybe I need to see her for counseling!

So, backtolife, you also keep healing. It is a 1 to 2 year healing process, so don't make premature decisions about feelings of spine surgery outcome, like I and so many others do. You need to wait until the dust settles and see the final result.

Susan

1: yes, sorry, it was Doreen.
2: I apologize for my words speaking as your mother was with you. Sorry for your loss. My mom never agreed with my tattoos but I just know we live in different times. Now my mil would like to go and get one done with me but she isn't too keen on pain!
3: I agree that I am no where near ready for a tattoo in the spirit of my surgery. If this fusion stops or even decreases my pain so I can reclaim my life, I would love to do something in the regards to overcoming pain. All the trials. Going through 10 years of pain and feeling like I have lost so much over this last few years it would be something for me. I have three small ones, a 'love' tattoo on my hip for my husband, then boyfriend (I was crazy), a paw print on my foot....(ouch, do not recommend) in memory of my dog who passed, and the double infinity for my children on my wrist.

So yes, tattoos are symbolic to me and people have many opinions about them. But it comes down to what you want. If you want it just for you, find a discreet spot. If you want to be bold and proudly display it and talk about about why you got it done, then place it somewhere it will be noticed.

On another note...
At 11 weeks I am chugging along. I had a mild set back with stomach issues and it kept me down and
weak for about 4 weeks! Awful!!! A good friend and member on here said the complications can be worse then surgery itself. Well said. I was kicking butt after surgery. Shocked at how well I was doing. And I have read about the 'slump-drepression' that also sets in and it seems to be hitting me. Stinks! The weather here is so hot so I cannot get outside and enjoy a day and I think that contributes to it. I am looking forward to this fall like no other!!! It will also give me the opportunity to get back into the school doing something I love, working with kids!
I am glad to have the words written by others who have been through this otherwise I think I would truly be second guessing what I did. There has not been a topic on here I have not found solace in.

[the_baroness]

Handicapped parking stickers, braces, and tattoos

I live in New York so don't own a car, but I wish I could wear a handicapped sign on my person so people don't jostle me! I think I have sort of a love/hate relationship with people knowing about my "disability" (not sure what to call it, I am 5 weeks post op and fused t10 to pelvis.) On the one hand, I worry quite a bit about people not knowing there is something wrong with me, because new Yorkers are known for being somewhat aggressive in their street-interactions (I say this fondly.) so the few times I've gone out in public or left the safety of my immediate sleepy neighborhood in Brooklyn, I've brought my cane with me, just as an outward symbol for people to be aware to avoid jostling me, maybe help me with a door, and to let me have the handicapped seat on the bus. But on the other hand I am so looking forward to being normal again! One of the reasons I did this surgery (I know, I shouldn't admit it) but I wanted to improve how my back looked cosmetically. So while I don't want people to jostle me, I do want people to think I'm just a regular person, with a perfectly normal spine, nothing to see here folks!

I'm not actually taking the subway yet, I'm going to ask my doctor at my first follow up on August 1 if it's ok. But you can bet the first time I do I will be carrying my cane even though I no longer need it to walk. My cane will be my handicapped sticker. While I want the world to think I look perfectly normal, right now I guess I want the world to know I'm still handicapped, so nobody knocks me over on the subway.

My surgeon did not ask me to wear a brace post op although I sometimes wish he did. While a brace would probably factor pretty heavily into my love/hate relationship with whether I want people to notice me or not, if I were wearing a brace it would ease my mind quite a bit about whether or not I'm keeping my spine perfectly still so the fusion can heal. Early on after the surgery I think I overdid it a few times with the walking, and through a miscommunication with the visiting nurse surgery ended up doing pt immediately after I got home from the hospital when I wasn't supposed to, and have had some jostling accidents of my own here and there that worried me (jumping to the side in terror when I saw a bug in my shower, tripping over a crack in the sidewalk, etc.) so I think I would endure the stares of the general public in order to wear a brace so as to protect my fusion. I came home from the hospital thinking that my hardware was all I needed to protect my fusion, but after reading this forum I realized that I should be much more careful. So I think a brace could have come in handy, and I wouldn't have cared how it looked to others.

Regarding tattoos, I guess I feel sort of the same way about them as I do about the handicapped sticker and the brace. I already have a couple tattoos, so I think they're fine. But I used to want to get a tattoo on my back in the shape of a vine that outlined the curve of my spine. It would have been an outward symbol to the world of my "disability." but now that I've had my surgery, and have an enormous very straight scar going down my back, I've abandoned any desire to have any tattoos back there. I've got my "battle scar" and it looks way better than any curvy twisting tattoo ever would. I'm more proud of that scar than anything else on my body. Accept maybe my new lordosis. I'm pretty damn proud of my new booty :-)

[Irina]

I'm more proud of that scar than anything else on my body.

Me too - I am very proud of my scar. If I like a dress or a top that shows a top of my scar, I am buying it. I just hide my scar from the sun now because I read somewhere on this forum that you shouldn't expose the scars to the sun during the first year so that they can fade out. Don't know if this is true or not.

[Susie*Bee]

the_baroness-- I always took a cane with me when I was going to be in a crowded situation too. An automatic red flag to people around you to be careful! Or so you hope! I did that way beyond my need for any help with it. I also took it on the airplane so people would be a little more understanding if I wasn't super fast getting down the aisle. Sometimes we look fine when we just aren't quite the same as they are. Now I think I can manage it ok.

I wore a brace, but it was the kind that you wore a t-shirt under and then your clothes over... so I'm not sure if people just thought I was chunky or if they could tell I had a brace on. (smile) There are different kinds of braces.

When I was first on the forum there was a youngish girl (early twenties, I think) Rosie1108, who had a temporary tattoo down her back that was a zipper. It looked really neat. She was trying to decide if she would really do it or not. Anyone else remember that one? She had a long fusion.

[back2life]

I loved reading your words, baroness. You have a great sense of humor. Yes, please be careful when you are out. I have not yet been in a crowed place without my husband to bodyguard for me so I would be super nervous! One time I did sit on the second bleacher (it's only three rows) a lady came and sat behind me. I was so on guard that I only sat for about five minutes and moved. I swear I almost told her off for no reason at all besides the fact the flipping whole seating was open and she sat directly behind me. But I knew I was just being super sensitive with my back so I moved. And I now learned that no matter what people think of me, I would rather have my chair. There are too many kids running around and I end up not enjoying. I am sick of not being able to watch my kids play as I am watching my back. Not worth it. I agree that sometimes I would like something more visible that shows I am 'delicate' right now and then yet sometimes I don't. But this will only be so long and after getting the hefty bill (thank God for insurance) it is worth 'pampering' myself to make sure I heal 100%!

I wear loads of sunscreen when outside and reapply. The sun will make sure that scar stays apparent if you want it. I don't! We asked my surgeon if I would be able to vacation comfortably to CA (7 hr drive away) at 2 months after surgery. He said yes but I would need to sit on the beach top side up, no tanning my back. So right now I am a pretty white AZ girl!

[jrnyc]

yes, i definitely remember the whole zipper discussion...
people thought it was pretty funny....

jess...and Sparky

[back2life]

Hi there,

Bleachers are murder on my back....and I am about 18 months post-op.

Time to suck it up and forget about others judging you...take your camp chair and be proud.

Thanks for not sugar coating it! I love that we can be honest with each other and share (with tact). This is exactly what my husband says to me. But he now says, what does the group online tell you to do because I tend to quote you all to often I guess.

[susancook]

1: yes, sorry, it was Doreen.
2: I apologize for my words speaking as your mother was with you. Sorry for your loss. My mom never agreed with my tattoos but I just know we live in different times. Now my mil would like to go and get one done with me but she isn't too keen on pain!
3: I agree that I am no where near ready for a tattoo in the spirit of my surgery. If this fusion stops or even decreases my pain so I can reclaim my life, I would love to do something in the regards to overcoming pain. All the trials. Going through 10 years of pain and feeling like I have lost so much over this last few years it would be something for me. I have three small ones, a 'love' tattoo on my hip for my husband, then boyfriend (I was crazy), a paw print on my foot....(ouch, do not recommend) in memory of my dog who passed, and the double infinity for my children on my wrist.

So yes, tattoos are symbolic to me and people have many opinions about them. But it comes down to what you want. If you want it just for you, find a discreet spot. If you want to be bold and proudly display it and talk about about why you got it done, then place it somewhere it will be noticed.

On another note...
At 11 weeks I am chugging along. I had a mild set back with stomach issues and it kept me down and
weak for about 4 weeks! Awful!!! A good friend and member on here said the complications can be worse then surgery itself. Well said. I was kicking butt after surgery. Shocked at how well I was doing. And I have read about the 'slump-drepression' that also sets in and it seems to be hitting me. Stinks! The weather here is so hot so I cannot get outside and enjoy a day and I think that contributes to it. I am looking forward to this fall like no other!!! It will also give me the opportunity to get back into the school doing something I love, working with kids!
I am glad to have the words written by others who have been through this otherwise I think I would truly be second guessing what I did. There has not been a topic on here I have not found solace in.

Hi there! No problem about mom. She is deceased but with me in so many ways. Thanks for being kind.
Down-in-the-dumps is my middle name! Check out my thread. Many awesome people have been supportive and confirm that this time in recovery is depressing.

My best to you!
Susan

[susancook]

I live in New York so don't own a car, but I wish I could wear a handicapped sign on my person so people don't jostle me! I think I have sort of a love/hate relationship with people knowing about my "disability" (not sure what to call it, I am 5 weeks post op and fused t10 to pelvis.) On the one hand, I worry quite a bit about people not knowing there is something wrong with me, because new Yorkers are known for being somewhat aggressive in their street-interactions (I say this fondly.) so the few times I've gone out in public or left the safety of my immediate sleepy neighborhood in Brooklyn, I've brought my cane with me, just as an outward symbol for people to be aware to avoid jostling me, maybe help me with a door, and to let me have the handicapped seat on the bus. But on the other hand I am so looking forward to being normal again! One of the reasons I did this surgery (I know, I shouldn't admit it) but I wanted to improve how my back looked cosmetically. So while I don't want people to jostle me, I do want people to think I'm just a regular person, with a perfectly normal spine, nothing to see here folks!

I'm not actually taking the subway yet, I'm going to ask my doctor at my first follow up on August 1 if it's ok. But you can bet the first time I do I will be carrying my cane even though I no longer need it to walk. My cane will be my handicapped sticker. While I want the world to think I look perfectly normal, right now I guess I want the world to know I'm still handicapped, so nobody knocks me over on the subway.

My surgeon did not ask me to wear a brace post op although I sometimes wish he did. While a brace would probably factor pretty heavily into my love/hate relationship with whether I want people to notice me or not, if I were wearing a brace it would ease my mind quite a bit about whether or not I'm keeping my spine perfectly still so the fusion can heal. Early on after the surgery I think I overdid it a few times with the walking, and through a miscommunication with the visiting nurse surgery ended up doing pt immediately after I got home from the hospital when I wasn't supposed to, and have had some jostling accidents of my own here and there that worried me (jumping to the side in terror when I saw a bug in my shower, tripping over a crack in the sidewalk, etc.) so I think I would endure the stares of the general public in order to wear a brace so as to protect my fusion. I came home from the hospital thinking that my hardware was all I needed to protect my fusion, but after reading this forum I realized that I should be much more careful. So I think a brace could have come in handy, and I wouldn't have cared how it looked to others.

Regarding tattoos, I guess I feel sort of the same way about them as I do about the handicapped sticker and the brace. I already have a couple tattoos, so I think they're fine. But I used to want to get a tattoo on my back in the shape of a vine that outlined the curve of my spine. It would have been an outward symbol to the world of my "disability." but now that I've had my surgery, and have an enormous very straight scar going down my back, I've abandoned any desire to have any tattoos back there. I've got my "battle scar" and it looks way better than any curvy twisting tattoo ever would. I'm more proud of that scar than anything else on my body. Accept maybe my new lordosis. I'm pretty damn proud of my new booty :-)

People running into me was so frightening. At first and I have a brace, i was so paranoid about people bumping into me. when i swim, without my brace, i feel very vulnerable. I get what you are saying and I am an ex-New Yorker, I understand your fear of subway crowds. I suggest that you avoid rush hour if possible. The cane should also get you a seat which might prevent some jostling.

Great that you love your back and booty! That is a bonus! I love to show off my scar, I worked hard to get it to heal!

To me, the word disability just means that you currently are in the process of healing and cannot to everything that everyone else can do! Soon, you will move out of that category and be among the general population.

I will tell you what Gayle tells me a lot....slow down and treat your back kindly as it takes between 6 months and 1-2 years to fully fuse. See Gayle's thread "the pop hear round the world". It reminds me to be careful.

Best of luck and keep healing!
Susan

[Doreen1]

Susan,
One of the most painful places to get a tat is on the back (and on ribs). My first tat is on my back, took 5 hours and hurt worse than child birth. If your back is numb from the surgery (mine still is at almost 2 years post op), a tat might not hurt so much. Two more tats on my horizon: a cross with watercolor splashes around it and an arrow when I compete at the Paralympics.