Three to Four Month Post Surgery Blues?

[progress]

3-4 mths more soft tissue pain!

Hi everyone, Been Xmas shopping all afternoon, or more like walked around aimlessly, I am quite sore on my right side and it is worse if I have been bending. My right soft tissue has always been the problem but I feel like it has got worse. My thoracolumbar curve curved to the left so my R hip stuck out and I lost my L hip. My right concave side has been filled and this is where the discomfort is. It can feel like a severe stitch. Also it goes down to the lower R centre of my back which is the only part still numb now. The numbness is decreasing and I wonder if that is why it is more sore. Also the R lower centre of my back has developed horrible dry patches but lucky they are not itchy. Does anyone know what has been done to the muscles on this side?, I'm surprised the L side feels perfect. I had bone taken from my R iliac crest through the same incision but the pain feels muscular and continues higher up into my mid back. I'm impatient now and expected this tight sore feeling to be better at this point. It is fine when I wake up but gets worse throughout the day. Unfortunately my mother is a hypochondriac so now that it's been nearly 4 months I don't get much sympathy or concessions even though I barely complain. Just want to be back to normal. I have a good feeling about my spine itself but wonder what I should be doing at this point. Does anyone know recommended stretches?
On a good note my energy level is now pretty good.
Kelly

[Susie*Bee]

Dear DJ-- I don't get on here as often... but I want you to know I think it's very common to have those ups and downs as you recover. I certainly did. I'd make slow progress and think I was doing ok, and then all of a sudden think "what is going on?-- this is taking forever! Will I ever get back to having anything like a "normal life?" At times like those, my greatest help was prayer and also looking back at pictures (I was keeping a scrapbook) and seeing the progress I had made so far. It's kind of like someone who loses weight. It's not really something that someone notices very much who sees the person every day, but it is to someone who hasn't seen the person in a long time. You've come a long way in what you can do from when you were in the hospital. It will keep getting better and better. Some of us take longer than others, but unless you have a problem, it WILL get better with time. I am now at 4 1/2 years post op and still continue to improve all the time, although I was doing pretty good quite awhile ago. It's just that the healing continues, the strength returns, the abilities grow... I would say I was at least at 90% at year 2, but I still have some challenges. You can't change the fact that you are fused. I don't remember how long your fusion is. I can't do everything I could do "once upon a time"-- but I couldn't do them anymore anyway, when my scoli had progressed. Take heart and work at it. Remember, you'd be going downhill the other way if you hadn't had the surgery. It's a chunk of time out of your life-- but you'll be glad you went ahead and got it over and done with and now the healing has begun. You'll be running around soon. Just be patient, do your walking, and you will heal.

You have quite THE STORY to tell, with an earthquake during your surgery! Wow! Take care!

[Confusedmom]

Thanks everyone who has posted on this thread. Good preparation for those of us awaiting surgery. I think it will help to expect the "blues." At least I will know that they are normal.

Thanks,
Evelyn

[rohrer01]

Hi there,

I can totally relate to everything you described when I was around 4 months post-op! I returned to work at 14 weeks due to increasing feelings of isolation, boredom and feeling blue (not to mention strong financial pressures). I should have waited another 2-3 weeks before going back, as it did set me back in terms of pain and progress. Unrelated to work though, I remember clearly about 4 months post op I still had a very significant amount of "aches and pains", and I remember being very discouraged thinking that was the final outcome of the surgery. My wise friend told me that I should expect that I wouldn't feel great until about 6-7 months later. At the time I was very distressed by this, and thought how much it all really sucked, but he was right. I actually felt much better at the 6.5 month mark, but even now, at 13 months post-op, I feel I am continuing to improve a lot.

I think one part of the blues at this period have to do with what a huge surgery it is. For the first 6-8 weeks one is in survival mode, living in the moment for pain meds, position changes, bathroom problems, trying to eat, etc. After 2 months of this, and some significant improvements, one is ready to move on back to the former life (not that of an invalid). However the body is just not ready yet, nor is it even at 4 months, although the mind wants to be! I think at this point it is normal to experience sort of a post-traumatic letdown period, as if your mind is saying "OMG that was terrible what I just went through" and now that the survival mode is through, you experience a bit of a mental slump. I know I did at that period.

You are still early in recovery and you have a huge amount of improvement to look forward to. You must be patient (which is certainly not easy for me!!). But you will get better. Keep active, take your pain meds if they help (that is nothing to worry about - 1/3 of a vicodin). Try to remind yourself that you still need good rest, good nutrition, and regular activity. Try not to dwell on what you think you can't do, because most likely, you will be able to return to it, or you will find other ways to do certain things.

I found that I was totally unprepared for the mental aspects of this recovery and the mental aspects of getting a large amount of hardware placed into my back. It caught me off guard, and I don't see a lot of discussion about that here. There is a huge mental/emotional component to recovering from this type of surgery. I bet if you write down some of your feelings and experiences now, and go back and look at them in 4 months, you will be amazed at how much better you are doing then.

Please feel fee to PM me if you want to talk further. I truly know how you feel, I was there too. Hang in there, it WILL get better, I promise.

These words are truly an inspiration for those of us who have not had surgery and those freshly on the other side. If I end up having surgery, I think I will print this out and hang it on my wall! Thank you so much! BTW, my curve is about what yours is. I found out yesterday when I looked at my cd and read the report that I am still progressing. It is a little disheartening. Family doesn't understand, but you folks on here do.

[leahdragonfly]

I am glad my feelings and experiences can help others! It is difficult because most of us do not know anyone personally who has gone through this surgery. Many people do not understand why we need to go through such a serious surgery, nor do they really understand how serious it is.

My own mother is pretty mental about my back. She knows I was extremely unhappy being braced, but she feels defensive or criticized that I still have negative feelings about being braced, even though I have never expressed blame or criticism toward her. She told me she was surprised I even remember wearing a brace!!--duh, I was in jr high, OF COURSE I remember! My doctor recommended surgery for three years but she refused to consider it. When I was 17 and was tired of extreme back and leg pain I made an appt to talk about surgery and informed my mother of this. She has an unnatural fear of surgery for some reason. When I developed increasing back pain several years ago she was very unsympathetic and unsupportive. She refused to accept that I needed such a huge surgery last year, and refused to believe that my teenage surgery hadn't healed properly. She is not a bad person and we are close otherwise, but she is just very unbalanced on the topic of my back.

There are plenty of us here who understand, so it may be best for you to minimize discussion of your back problems with people who are unsupportive.

[Confusedmom]

As I am approaching my surgery, I've been talking to my friends more about it. I find myself refering to things I've read on the Forum a lot. And of course all my friends look at me like I'm totally losing it. Not only am I about to have this huge surgery, but I'm relying on information/experiences of people I've "met" on the Internet for information. When I hear myself talking to them, I understand why they look at me like that.

But truly, where else are we supposed to go for support? I have met two lovely ladies locally through this Forum who have had the surgery. Otherwise I would have no "real life" contacts who have dealt with this. Plus just the expertise of people like Linda is invaluable.

So, adding my thanks to the Forum, and all of you who post your true feelings -- good and bad. Thank you!

Evelyn