Nursing care during hospital stay

[SandyC]

I had my surgery, AP from T4-S1, at UC San Franscisco and was very happy with the nursing care. I expected to be treated like one of a herd of cattle, because the hospital is huge with a great many patients. Instead I was treated like an individual with compassion and respect. The nursing staff was prompt when I needed something. I was in 4 times because I contacted MRSA. One of the times I was in was on 4th of July. I was in ICU and was going to be transfer to the regular floor the next day. My nurse and a respitory tech asked if I wanted to see the fireworks. They moved my bed so I could see out of my window, which was a lot of work, because of the tubing and assorted IV's etc. One of my "visits" I started into CHF, my nurse responded quickly and with professionalism. I knew what was going on, which was very scary, especially when you can't breath! She had a Doc and respatory (sp) therapist within seconds at my bedside.
On the regular nursing floor, I recived my pain meds quickly, I was helped out of bed gently everytime, and my general care was excellant.
SandyC

[Debra JGL]

Wow - thanks for sharing your hospital recovery experiences, the good, the bad and everything in between. It helps too to get my expectations of after surgery in line, (actually, just throw them out of the window) I'm going to be in alot of pain. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Ed - that was really something you went through, I'm so glad it's over for you. They probably still remember "when Ed was here". Chris - thanks for the info. on the registered nurse assistant, I'm able to pre-book it through the hospital. For those strapped by funds, there is the option at HSS to book for as many or few nights as wanted.

[Back-out]

Son's possible help after surgery. Workable for me? too stressful for him?

Do you think a nurse or "registered nurse's assistant" is necessary if you have a family member with you at night? What about a young adult son (almost 22)? If he can stay awake, could HE "work the night shift"?

I am concerned about two things:
1) whether he'd be up to it in terms of my medical needs
2) whether he'd be up to it in terms of the emotional stress.

Re #1. Will I need someone very medically alert and experienced to keep on top of meds, danger signs and so on?
Also (if not a paid aide) will I really need a same sex family member for help with personal care (toileting, etc.)?
Re#2 My understanding is that in the initial recovery period, the patient is pretty "out of it". That would leave my son with enormous responsibility, medically. What's more, I worry that despite his most appreciated willingness to help, it might end up being too traumatic for him to see me in that condition. He might be too stressed by it.

I've read here about spouses who passed out seeing their wives post surgically - uncontrollable sensitivity to the sight of blood and radical changes in physical appearance, obvious major pain etc.

If so, all the more true for a scarcely adult child with any degree of emotional fragility. It seems to me most children are apt to have trouble coping with a severely impaired mom. Just seeing his "Rock" temporarily reduced to pebbles, is bound to be disturbing. Also simply feeling "too needed". It's very early for role reversal, even short term.

Those of you with children, especially around that age (and especially sons) what do you think?

[Back-out]

For reference:
SIL would be there the rest of the time, per present thinking. Being there round the clock seems to me way too much to ask.

Reminding me of a different concern. A member here remarked that having her husband with her most of the time turned out to be a mixed blessing. His presence was taken so much for granted, she did not end up with more care.

On the contrary, they relied on him. He OTOH was often forced to spend much time seeking out nurses for his wife. They were needed to administer care he wasn't able to handle. That meant it was more or less "a wash" in net benefit and he ended up exhausted from trying to be available 24/7.

[hdugger]

I haven't been through major surgery (my son is the one with scoliosis), but he's 22 and somewhat emotionally fragile.

My experience during lesser emergencies is that he more than rises to the occasion when needed, and he's less upset by my physical problems then I would be by his. (By that I mean, in general, parents *feel* their kids pain more then kids feel their parents pain.)

My only hesitancy would be whether your son felt he could be forceful enough in dealing with the nurses. I could see a younger adult being more hesitant to go and bother the nurses because it felt socially awkward.

[Back-out]

Thank you hdugger! Very helpful observations. I think I'll turn this into a separate thread. Otherwise, I'm not apt to get the (parental) responses I need. It's an important decision for all of us and I don't want to destabilize my son.

[JenniferG]

I agree with dhugger that it could be difficult for a young man of that age to seek out help forcefully if necessary, without a struggle. But on the other hand, I think being with you and helping you in that way would be a huge growth experience. All sorts of possible eventualities could be discussed before-hand to gauge his reaction to being called on for these things.

If it was discussed with him ahead of time that you will be receiving "bed baths" which would require him to leave the room, injections, the possibility of seeing you in great pain etc. and that once you are up and about and tubes removed, you may need help to get to the toilet etc. (once there, he could leave the room) I feel that you will be able to gauge his willingness or ability to cope.

I see the experience for him as being quite beneficial in terms of personal growth and could strengthen the bonds between you.

If you need help with showering, toileting etc. then his role would simply be to find someone to help you.

If you find that none of this help is necessary, then it's possible you may be able to relieve him of his night duties after a couple of nights. But warn him, it might be for the full duration of your hospital stay. The way I see it, so long as he understands the full implications and that it's fully discussed, then you can make a decision as to whether he could cope with the task.

[ADMoul]

I was at NYU hospital for joint disease and didn't even know there was an option for hiring pvt. duty nurses. Looking back, I think I would have considered it. I was on oral meds from day 2 on. I don't ever remember using a pain pump. (I was kept sedated/intubated in post op recovery the first night since I had so much bleeding and fluid build-up from transfusions.) Anyway, most of my nurses were fine, but so frazzled and over-worked. There was a crazy high-maintenance patient right down the hall who just screamed for assistance day and night and at one point she had to have some kind of one-on-one care when the floor was already under-staffed. Fortunately, I was coherent enough to keep track of when I needed pain meds but nights when I had to go to the bathroom so frequently from the drugs and the thirst they caused were rough. I almost envy the folks on here who talk about sleeping through their first few days. Anyway, in hindsight, I think I would have opted to have overnight private duty help.