Hey all in NSF!
I'd love some calming advice on how to deal with family over the surgery issue. My husband's mom is phenomenally upset we are considering surgery for our 15 1/2 year old daughter. I think she isn't speaking to us at the moment. She herself has had three spinal fusions and is in a lot of pain. She never had scoliosis, her fusions were for strain and injury placed on her spine, but I fully appreciate how much living with pain has changed her life and her overwhelming fear of spinal surgeons.
Has anyone ever been yelled at for considering the surgery? This is a really hard choice to make, and I did not anticipate struggling with others ability to accept the options. I have explained to others what a progressing curve means and how it affects her left lung, keeping it from inflating fully and how that interacts with her asthma and her tendency to get pnuemonia (february is always rough). In addition to her ability to take in oxygen she has impact on her hip with running, which is one of her favorite things in life. I don't really think there is anything I can do to get my mother-in-law on board, she is in pain and that's what she sees. She denies the progressive nature of this condition, and acceptance is not her long suit. I'd love for everyone to be on the same positive page, so the decision to choose surgery or waiting becomes about our daughter and her back, and everyone pulls together, but I am unsure what to say to my mother-in-law. My husband is doing fine, I know it's rough for him to not have her support, but I also think he is used to that being the case. Parents, yikes, we ARE parents, lol...
- Martha K
I'd love some calming advice on how to deal with family over the surgery issue. My husband's mom is phenomenally upset we are considering surgery for our 15 1/2 year old daughter. I think she isn't speaking to us at the moment. She herself has had three spinal fusions and is in a lot of pain. She never had scoliosis, her fusions were for strain and injury placed on her spine, but I fully appreciate how much living with pain has changed her life and her overwhelming fear of spinal surgeons.
Has anyone ever been yelled at for considering the surgery? This is a really hard choice to make, and I did not anticipate struggling with others ability to accept the options. I have explained to others what a progressing curve means and how it affects her left lung, keeping it from inflating fully and how that interacts with her asthma and her tendency to get pnuemonia (february is always rough). In addition to her ability to take in oxygen she has impact on her hip with running, which is one of her favorite things in life. I don't really think there is anything I can do to get my mother-in-law on board, she is in pain and that's what she sees. She denies the progressive nature of this condition, and acceptance is not her long suit. I'd love for everyone to be on the same positive page, so the decision to choose surgery or waiting becomes about our daughter and her back, and everyone pulls together, but I am unsure what to say to my mother-in-law. My husband is doing fine, I know it's rough for him to not have her support, but I also think he is used to that being the case. Parents, yikes, we ARE parents, lol...
- Martha K
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