September 9th surgery

[mabeckoff]

Hang in there. As they say, this too shall pass. Of course many of our kids will be scolis, but hopefully not as bad (especially boys). Your daughter will come around eventually, and I am also optimistic your pain will be reduced. Insurance is a whole other issue, but at least that's just things.

Thanks ,I am just so down right now

[rohrer01]

Hi, Melissa.
Please reread what I wrote about what my mom did about insurance issues with her house when it burned down. You don't have to be an architect to tell them what you want. Obviously, you liked the 'area' where the house was. When it's rebuilt it won't be the same house. It will be a new one.

As far as your dear daughter. I know how you feel when you express your disapproval of your daughter's life choices and how she wants to raise her child. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut, too. But we were free to make our life choices and raise our kids the way we wanted to. You may not like her "lifestyle", but that's her choice, too. Anyway, I have a feeling she's going to need you more than she thinks! If you keep the lines of communication open as nonjudgmentally as you can and let her KNOW that she has these freedoms whether you like it or not, she may very well change her mind when her anger settles down. She's hormonal right now. You could use the coming baby as a way to make a connection and talk about pregnancy symptoms (NOT husband, or the way she "plans" to raise baby) and let her know what to expect. DON'T talk about her "husband" in a negative light right now because none of us want to hear the "I told you so" when things fall apart for her, and they will. The baby is your common ground. Most of us have our "ideals" when it comes to having babies. We plan out just exactly how we want our pregnancy and delivery to go. We plan out how we will raise them. Then when that first kid comes along, our first plans (childbirth) often don't go the way we "thought" it would be. THEN we have the baby and reality sinks in that we don't have a clue what we are doing. That's where moms step in, at least to help with the physical and psychological stuff we weren't expecting, like being sleep deprived because of a collicky baby or whatever it is that wasn't in the book we thought we had so perfectly planned.

I was told by a social worker once when I was having problems with my teen daughter that most kids in this age group (teens to young adults) come to their senses and return to the way they were raised when they see their way falling apart. As my kids get older, they seem to stick to the fringes of how I raised them, despite doing things totally contrary to what I TAUGHT them. Even my daughter talks about the things I used to do with them and what she plans on doing with her son. Even though she's not accomplishing it, the desire is still there. So take heart. I can give you more details through private means if you'd like.

Now to address your son's issue: Is he in pain or showing signs of scoliosis? Or, is this just a screening just to make sure he doesn't have it? If it turns out that he DOES have scoliosis, it may be mild. If it's not, then be thankful that you have medical insurance for him AND access to the best medical care. Your back problems are more than just scoliosis. Remember what your doctor told you about having a terrible back and just happening to have scoliosis, too? You are more than a scoliosis patient with YOUR back. If your son has straight scoliosis, he may not, and most likely won't end up in the pain you are in and with the surgeries you've had.

I like to remember what my grandmother used to say. "Don't borrow trouble before it happens, because it may not happen." This is quoted in many writings, put differently, but none the less the same principle.

Take care of YOURSELF, because if you don't, you WON'T be able to help your kids when they need you. I'm thinking about you a LOT. If we lived closer, we'd be good neighbors!

Rohrer01

[JenniferG]

How are you Michelle? Feeling better, I hope.

[Doodles]

My question too, Melissa. Been wondering how you are doing....Janet

[mabeckoff]

I have been in much fibro pain and that is why I have not been on the forum. We are in the middle of trying to find a builder so we can get started.I am going to see Dr Bederman on Wednesday because I am in so much post surgical pain .My neck is making noises when I turn it as well as causing much pain. Both of my hips are causing me much pain as well.

I am accepting of my daughter's situation. It is not what she was brought up with but it is her life .

Thanks for caring

[JenniferG]

Thanks for letting us know Melissa. I'm so sorry you're in so much physical and mental pain. I hope the right builder comes along and it all goes smoothly. You're overdue for good things.

Apologies for using the wrong name earlier! <insert googly-eyed smiley>

[rohrer01]

I have been in much fibro pain and that is why I have not been on the forum. We are in the middle of trying to find a builder so we can get started.I am going to see Dr Bederman on Wednesday because I am in so much post surgical pain .My neck is making noises when I turn it as well as causing much pain. Both of my hips are causing me much pain as well.

I'm sorry you are having so much pain. I hope Dr. Bederman can find the cause of your neck grinding/pain and hip pain. It may have something to do with the screws in your hips (my guess). If you are fused, I think they can remove any problematic hardware.

I certainly hope you find the "right" builder to do the job. The one that estimated way out to the fall is out of line. I would go with another. Make sure you get references so you know they are reputable. There are other means I'm sure of finding out if they are quality builders.

I am accepting of my daughter's situation. It is not what she was brought up with but it is her life .

This, too, may come back to bite HER when her child is grown, as she may experience the same thing. I'll bet the majority of us caused our parents at least some grief. Having to watch your grown kids make mistakes (and we ALL do) is MUCH harder than parenting. That's my experience, anyway. My guess is that she's going to come running to you for help WAY before that point. Take care and BIG gentle hugs!

Rohrer01

[mabeckoff]

Thanks for letting us know Melissa. I'm so sorry you're in so much physical and mental pain. I hope the right builder comes along and it all goes smoothly. You're overdue for good things.

Apologies for using the wrong name earlier! <insert googly-eyed smiley>

Jennifer, That is fine. It is also very funny that you called me Michelle. I was adopted and my birth name was Michelle.

[mabeckoff]

I'm sorry you are having so much pain. I hope Dr. Bederman can find the cause of your neck grinding/pain and hip pain. It may have something to do with the screws in your hips (my guess). If you are fused, I think they can remove any problematic hardware.

I certainly hope you find the "right" builder to do the job. The one that estimated way out to the fall is out of line. I would go with another. Make sure you get references so you know they are reputable. There are other means I'm sure of finding out if they are quality builders.

This, too, may come back to bite HER when her child is grown, as she may experience the same thing. I'll bet the majority of us caused our parents at least some grief. Having to watch your grown kids make mistakes (and we ALL do) is MUCH harder than parenting. That's my experience, anyway. My guess is that she's going to come running to you for help WAY before that point. Take care and BIG gentle hugs!

Rohrer01

Thanks. We are looking at builders and the one that we visited yesterday is a local builder that has built several communities here. The price that he quoted us for a very nice home is quite reasonable. He , also, includes many items as standard that are extras for most other builders. He is coming out to our property this coming Saturday.

I am hopeful that Dr Bederman can help some of my pain. I will keep you all informed.

I just hope that my daughter comes to her senses sooner than later

[Doodles]

Melissa--
That builder sounds more promising! Now if we can get some promising help from Dr. Bederman for your pain. Try to concentrate on you and healing! Janet

[mabeckoff]

Well, I am off to see Dr Bederman tomorrow. I will let you know what happens

Thanks for being here for me

Melissa

[rohrer01]

Thanks. We are looking at builders and the one that we visited yesterday is a local builder that has built several communities here. The price that he quoted us for a very nice home is quite reasonable. He , also, includes many items as standard that are extras for most other builders. He is coming out to our property this coming Saturday.

I am hopeful that Dr Bederman can help some of my pain. I will keep you all informed.

I just hope that my daughter comes to her senses sooner than later

I hope the builder is just right for you. He sounds promising, especially with the "extras".

If it can be found, it sounds like Bederman is the man. He's seen your spine inside and out.

As for your daughter, you and me both.

[mabeckoff]

If it can be found, it sounds like Bederman is the man. He's seen your spine inside and out.
.

I love this quote. I hope I remember to tell him that tomorrow

[rohrer01]

I love this quote. I hope I remember to tell him that tomorrow

.......... o^O ......... That's the best I can do for a funny face. Let us know how it went today.

[jrnyc]

hi Melissa
hope the doctor can help you with the pain...
never had spinal surgery, but the steroid shots in SI joints helped me a great
deal with hip pain...the pain is back since it has been over 3 months since my last
SI shots due to cortisol problem....

please let us know how you do at doctor.....

jess...& Sparky