Okay I admit it.....

[Radiogirl]

Lynette, I'm right there with ya babe! Mine is Wedneday. Phew...can't believe it..but you know what? I am sorta feeling that wave of calmness come and go..It's nice when it' here, then it leaves and I say What The Heck am I doing??? Then my back starts hurting, and I realize I'm doing the right thing. I do not want to be in a wheelchair when I am older. Others get through it..we will too. Stay strong with me!!!

[LynetteG]

Laura - that's exactly how I feel - waves of calm then waves of aaaggghhh!!! and then just like you I feel pain in my neck, and back, and know this is what I have to do. I promise to stay strong with you - we'll look out for one another . I just feel so blessed to have found this forum and all the amazing wonderful people on here, it truly has saved my life facing this surgery with all the support from everyone on here.

Alleycat - I'm glad my dream made you chuckle out loud, when I woke up I was laughing about it too, it was only while I was in the dream that it felt so horrible, but I thought it was funny how your dreams convey such weird stuff when you're worried about something.

Rita - I hope I feel that sense of calm when the anaesthesiologist is talking to me before knocking me out.

Shari - I agree with you - this is like a family of support, I call this place my scoli family!

[TexEx]

My surgery is also March 31 and I am having the same ups and downs. Last week I spoke to two of my surgeon's previous patients and that helped alot! They gave me confidence in my surgeon and a little insight on what to expect. This eased alot of anxiety of the unknown.

I also keep thinking and telling my son that things may get a little worse before they get better, but he will have his mom back after my recovery. For the past four months I have not been able to do much with my kids, ie: ride bikes, walks to the park, shoot a basketball, etc......we are just keeping our eye on the prize!

This forum has been so helpful to me to keep my anxiety level down, I have been reading for a couple of month and am glad to finally contribute.

Good luck Lynnete and Laura!

Melissa
60% Lumbar
T9-L5 fusion
Dr. Hanson
Houston,TX

[JenniferG]

And good luck to you too Melissa. Welcome to the forum. Let us know how you go, won't you?

[LynetteG]

Good luck to you also Melissa - and thanks!

[Shari]

It's hard for people to understand that haven't been in this situation. Just like any other life altering conditions.

We are a family. Sometimes we are so focused on ourselves, which is normal,
we neglect to recognize the fear and concerns of the people that love us. And in a way they are terrified too. I tried my best to explain everything that I had learned from my Dr., and this forum, to the support group that was going to be around me.

I must not have done very well, because they all looked at me after the second surgery with a blank stare of disbelief. They truely had no clue.

Try and be patient with them as well. But I was so scared a couple months prior, if you looked at me wrong, I would tear up.

God Bless,
Shari

[LynetteG]

Shari - thanks for sharing that with us. Today I've felt very very teary - but managed to keep it in. And sometimes today I got this horrible feeling of panic in the pit of my stomach, thinking "Oh God am I doing the right thing, I'm so scared, what if something goes wrong, my little boys need me etc.etc.". I've faced a lot of stuff in my life, but this is absolutely the scariest I've ever felt in my life!

[Nitram]

LynetteG, much of what you are feeling I felt 2 weeks ago prior to my surgery, I made some more notes on this in another thread you might want to read and I know how nervous you are....I have 2 kids and am about the same age as you, we have similar curves and similar surgeries. It's going to be fine....yes the first week after surgery is going to be tough, but I'm telling you that you will get better really fast..granted, I'm in no position to run a marathon mind you but I can certainly function fine. My two kids have laid in bed with me watching tv several times since I've been home...my son seems to have taken to "reading me a story" at night before he goes to bed.

Anyway, hang in there, you ARE doing the right thing and you ARE going to be fine. You'll look back on this a month from now and feel such a sense of relief that you got it done and can now move on with the rest of your life and not have to worry about being crippled by pain.

Take care,

Rich

[LynetteG]

Rich - I was really glad to hear that you were able to have your kids lay in bed with you - I wondered about that and whether that would be okay. I kept thinking what if one of their feet kicked near my back, would it be safe to snuggle them up in bed and read stories etc. It's so cute that your son is reading you a story at night - that is adorable! I know it sounds crazy, but I miss my boys already and I haven't even gone to the hospital yet!

I will try to find the thread you are talking about, as I'd like to read about how you felt prior to surgery.

Thanks Rich!

[TexEx]

Hi Lynette:

I too have been trying to deal with how to handle my kids (12 and 7) during my recovery and pre-op jitters. My oldest has wanted to take the Helper roll. He carries my chair I take to sit in when I am out, I have given him my Ipod to load songs for the hospital, etc. It makes him feel important and gives him a sense of control I think.

Also, I have bought travel games that we can play in the bed while I recuperate, like travel scrabble and yatzee.

As Wednesday approaches we are all getting a bit jittery without saying anything to anyone, I can just tell the boys are more affectionate and needy. Just keep giving hugs and know that they are resiliant and when all is over they will have a better mom and remember very little of all of this in the long run (at least that is what I keep telling myself)!

As a mom I understand how hard it is to just focus on ourselves during this time, but that is what people keep telling me to do and come Wednesday for me and Thursday for you we will have no choice.

This forum has been a great savior for me in that respect and my best wishes to you and thanks for your words that have inspired me.

Good luck!

Melissa

[debbei]

Hi Lynette:

I too have been trying to deal with how to handle my kids (12 and 7) during my recovery and pre-op jitters. My oldest has wanted to take the Helper roll. He carries my chair I take to sit in when I am out, I have given him my Ipod to load songs for the hospital, etc. It makes him feel important and gives him a sense of control I think.

Also, I have bought travel games that we can play in the bed while I recuperate, like travel scrabble and yatzee.

As Wednesday approaches we are all getting a bit jittery without saying anything to anyone, I can just tell the boys are more affectionate and needy. Just keep giving hugs and know that they are resiliant and when all is over they will have a better mom and remember very little of all of this in the long run (at least that is what I keep telling myself)!

As a mom I understand how hard it is to just focus on ourselves during this time, but that is what people keep telling me to do and come Wednesday for me and Thursday for you we will have no choice.

This forum has been a great savior for me in that respect and my best wishes to you and thanks for your words that have inspired me.

Good luck!

Melissa

This surgery does affect the kids in the family. All 3 of mine went through different sorts of issues before/during my surgury and hospital time. After I came home they were a lot more relaxed. Although they saw that I was fragile, they also saw how I was getting better and better. During my recovery, I'd do something new that I hadn't been able to do when I first came home, and they were all cheering for me like they would for a baby who just learned to walk.

Keep giving those hugs & kisses. Will your kids be coming to visit you in the hospital? Mine did once, 4 days after surgery, so I didn't look quite as bad as I did immediately post-op. They stayed about an hour, then I was worn out and they left.

Editing to add--I also spoke to my kids teachers in advance to keep them in the loop. In my oldest 2 sons cases, I spoke to their guidance councelors, and for the youngest, spoke to her teacher directly. I think it really helped so that they could keep a special eye on the kids and be aware of their nervousness.

[LynetteG]

Thank you so much Melissa for your lovely words of encouragement. You are a great lady. I love the idea of travel games, I think that's what I'll do today with my boys, go out and buy some travel games for the boys and I to play during my recovery Thank you so much for that suggestion!

God bless Melissa - you are also in my thoughts and prayers. I didn't realize that you were having your surgery on wednesday, I know Laura is having surgery also on Wednesday. I just know we will all do great

[foofer]

Hello Lynette,

I am new to posting on the forum, but I have followed your story and been cheering you on silently!

This is not an exact parallel by any means, but I was recently talking about the possibility of surgery with my youngest son, now 23. He reminded me of my knee surgery from 15 years ago- an event that turned out to be a bit more extensive than I had planned, and all during the holidays. Every evening when the kids got home from school, they would get in bed with me, do their homework there, and we would watch TV together later. He remembered it as a very special time!

It's not what gets thrown your way, it's how you handle it, and there will be blessings in all this...

The best to you on your surgery day and in your recovery!!

[naptown78]

Lynette,
I haven't been posting much on the forum lately because I've been so dang tired but wanted to let you know (and Melissa and Laura) that it will be okay! God has you in his hands along with your very skilled surgeon. I know how you feel, take some moments for yourself and your family the day before to (try) to relax. All your forum friends will be right here waiting for you....

[LynetteG]

Thanks Amy and Kristy for all your positive words of encouragement - I appreciate that more than you know