Anyone else feel this way?

[RitaR]

My hubby and I have already decided once I get back on my feet, we recover from all these horrendous medical bills, etc. we're going to go on a cruise! Our gift to us!!!! I can't wait!!!!!

[Doodles]

Sounds awesome! I'm still waiting on that cruise but we will be taking our first real vacation since surgery down to Orange Beach, Alabama, where we've gone for years. Should be great. I love walking and lying on the beach. The lying part could be rather interesting--especially if anyone watches me get down there! Janet

[Shari]

Lynette,

Just remember what many in this thread have said to you. It's all important.
And know that the weight you are carrying on your shoulders is real.

We have all had it, and we are helping you carrying the load as well.

And that black cloud you speak of, it's God's way of blanketing you, and keeping you warm!!!

I believe evrything happens for a reason. When I found this forum, I didn't think I could mentally, sink any lower.


Try and keep you chin up, and never feel quilty for feeling down, in a way it is a life changing experience. One for the best!!!

We are here for you,
Shari

[LynetteG]

Shari you are an amazing lady with really great words of wisdom. I'm feeling much stronger today, and more determined than ever to get through this, and not let my ex destroy me! My mother and attorney suggested I put this whole court battle on hold for a year, so I'll be talking to my attorney today about that in more detail - gotta concentrate on just focusing on staying positive and getting better and healing from this surgery. I really can't put off this surgery as my spine is really bad and rapidly increasing, even though AMAZINGLY my back pain is minimal still - though lately I can feel more twinges and certainly after a shorter period of time standing, it hurts pretty bad.

So ONWARD AND UPWARD!!!

Thank you again Shari for all your uplifting advice, and thank you EVERYONE on here who has put up with my whining and moaning

[debbei]

Shari you are an amazing lady with really great words of wisdom. I'm feeling much stronger today, and more determined than ever to get through this, and not let my ex destroy me! My mother and attorney suggested I put this whole court battle on hold for a year, so I'll be talking to my attorney today about that in more detail - gotta concentrate on just focusing on staying positive and getting better and healing from this surgery. I really can't put off this surgery as my spine is really bad and rapidly increasing, even though AMAZINGLY my back pain is minimal still - though lately I can feel more twinges and certainly after a shorter period of time standing, it hurts pretty bad.

So ONWARD AND UPWARD!!!

Thank you again Shari for all your uplifting advice, and thank you EVERYONE on here who has put up with my whining and moaning

I'm glad to hear you sounding better this morning Lynette. We've all had our really low moments with regard to this surgery. The trick is pulling ourselves out and preparing the best that we can. (mentally and physically).

[ADMoul]

Ditto to what everyone else has said and it sounds like you're on the upswing a little bit. When I was going through my pre-op "dark cloud" days, I would just think about how much I was missing out on in life because of this chronic back pain. If I didn't do anything, I was going to be this way (or worse) for the rest of my life. I had been terrified of this surgery since I was diagnosed almost 40 years ago and yet I knew I had to move forward. I am a musician and do a lot of choral singing (of course, standing) and the last few concerts I just couldn't enjoy because I was in so much pain. It's hard right now when my husband goes to rehearsal and someone else is singing my solo parts, but I know I will be able to come back a stronger, healthier person. It's a long journey but you just have to keep focused on the final outcome. Lean on the forum folks--they are wonderful and helped me tremendously!

[LynetteG]

Thanks everyone for your support. Funnily enough it's not so much the surgery that was getting me down as much as my ex and what he continues to do to me, coupled with the surgery. On it's own facing the surgery is really not too bad for me, it's dealing with the other part of my life on top of all of this that makes some days a little hellish. However, I'm determined to not let my ex beat me down anymore - so all is good with the world

[Shari]

Lynette,

Once you get your surgery, and well on your way in the recovery process, you just may look back and get a little chuckle.

No divorce will ever be as tough as the surgery and recovery. You will be on your way to a life changing experience. You will look beautiful (not deformed), you'll be free from your heavy load (husband), and you will be so empowered with the first hand knowledge of just how strong a woman you really are!!!

All my best,
Shari

[LynetteG]

Wow Shari that is so powerful and something I can really understand. I LOVED that, and boy that's given me some fantastic drive, thank you Shari!!!

[joyfull]

Lynette, You're relatively young so you should make a fairly quick recovery. Get in as good shape as you can and you'll do fine. In the long run, you'll be able to be a better, healthier mom to your children. All the best, Joy

[LynetteG]

Oooh I love being told that I'm fairly young - hee hee - don't hear THAT too often these days Joy - thank you! Yes I'm actually looking forward now to getting this done, lately my back is hurting more and more, and I'm doing less and less fun stuff with my boys - and THAT'S no fun, so quicker I get this done the quicker I can heal and be a new mommy for my boys

[ckieft]

Lynette, I felt the exact same way! Please feel free to email me directly and get my phone number. I would love to talk to you. I was able to talk to several ladies over the phone that really helped me before my surgery. I really hope you take the time to call.

[jsully]

OMG, I feel the same way girl! My boys are 6 & 7 and I've waited this long for them to be a little more self-sufficient. I like you have the same fear, I am not ready to leave my boys and hope I am doing the right thing. I hope I don't become worse off and not able to provide for my family like I'm used to. I too live in the Tampa area, not sure yet if I'm going to UCH or St Joes. My appt. is the same day as your surgery, too funny. I wish you the best of luck!
Janet

[LynetteG]

Janet - that's exactly how I feel - hoping that I'll be able to continue again taking care of my boys just the way I used to, of course not at first I realize that, but after that I sure hope I can. My nine-year-old cried tonight while I was reading him his bedtime story, he said he'll miss me and that on Easter Sunday he wants to stay with me all day and all night (the kids will be visiting me in the hospital that day), poor little guy. It breaks my heart to see them sad, especially as inside I feel so sad too because I'll miss them very much also - I don't let them know this of course - but my sons have never been apart from me for more than a couple of nights. Anyway, it's all for a good reason, and before we all know it, I'll be back home with my babies again . It's hard isn't it doing this surgery when you have little babies that rely on us?

[jsully]

So sad, I will miss my boys so much. The hospital is almost a hour away.