Depression

[CHRIS WBS]

After reading everyone's posts on this subject, I guess I am thankful my surgeon and his "worker bee's" were absolute freaks about not giving me medication apon my request. It was like pulling teeth after week 3!!! At the time, it seemed like cruel and unusual punishment, but all in all, I do understand why.

Ditto. I cannot believe the amount of drugs some are being prescribed for prolonged periods. Thankfully my surgeon was very unyielding to over-prescribing. Consequently, I never experienced any of the drug-related symptoms I have read so much about in this forum.

[titaniumed]

finish your climb

Susan,

The meds are a double edged sword. You need them for surgery but there comes a time that they do more harm than good. They can be very destructive.

The depression will subside after you get off. Its not easy, the pain will increase, (I posted data on this last year) then will lower after withdrawal. It took me a few days of freezing,sweating, and dizzies. I then jammed all the nutrients and good stuff, and started my med free healing process. I adopted a "damn the torpedoes" attitude, like Admiral Farragut in Mobile bay. I basically picked myself up, and brushed myself off and adopted a mindset that had sunshine in the forecast.

I've used the analogy of mountain climbing in the past, and after all that we have been through, and scaling that peak with the top being surgery, we all have to come down off the mountain. Your coming down that mountain now, off the peak 5 months ago, but not done with the climb. You can handle this, its the will and determination, all on your own, that will see you through.

You have done the hard part, and I know you can get through this part.

Be strong, and finish your climb. There will be many sunny days ahead,
Ed

[debbei]

Susan,

The meds are a double edged sword. You need them for surgery but there comes a time that they do more harm than good. They can be very destructive.

The depression will subside after you get off. Its not easy, the pain will increase, (I posted data on this last year) then will lower after withdrawal. It took me a few days of freezing,sweating, and dizzies. I then jammed all the nutrients and good stuff, and started my med free healing process. I adopted a "damn the torpedoes" attitude, like Admiral Farragut in Mobile bay. I basically picked myself up, and brushed myself off and adopted a mindset that had sunshine in the forecast.

I've used the analogy of mountain climbing in the past, and after all that we have been through, and scaling that peak with the top being surgery, we all have to come down off the mountain. Your coming down that mountain now, off the peak 5 months ago, but not done with the climb. You can handle this, its the will and determination, all on your own, that will see you through.

You have done the hard part, and I know you can get through this part.

Be strong, and finish your climb. There will be many sunny days ahead,
Ed

Ed,

you are strong, tough and stubborn. You went cold turkey and beat it with flying colors. What a man. However, not all of us are that tough. I know I'm not--I had to wean myself very very gradually, and even then I wanted to take everyone's head off who even looked at me funny.

Susan,
the important thing is that you eventually get off. Like I said above, the pain management doc. might be able to guide you through the cutback in a smarter way than I did. I concocted my own cutback plan, and it did work, but I'm sure professionals have better ways of achieving the same goal.

[always smilin']

I tried the cold turkey approach and it definitely did not work for me...I ended up in such awful awful pain ...fast heartbeats (to the point I thought I may have a heart attack...crazy)...sweats/shivers...uncontrollable crying...all the symptoms of an addict withdrawal so I had to slow my withdrawal. I talked to a number of people to figure out how best to do this...2 different pharmacists, my primary, this forum and my surgeon's nurse. I figured the more info I got, the better off my situation would end up. I'm still not totally "clean" but am doing much better/safer than cold turkey.

[Singer]

It's actually dangerous to quit these drugs too quickly, especially Valium.

Yes, these drugs are a double-edged sword, but I know that without them I wouldn't have been able to walk, which I desperately needed to do in order to heal. I hope I never have to take narcotics again, but thank goodness they work as well as they do.

The smartest thing I ever did did post-op was to enlist the help of a pain management specialist, who assured me that I was not going to end up a drug addict because I was on Oxycontin for several months. Yes, I became physically dependent on them, but most people become dependent after just a few weeks on these drugs. The trick is to wean off of them slowly and with supervision. After I took my last dose, I had a few days of feeling weird and uncomfortable, but I was ready physically and mentally, and got through it without too much trouble.

It takes some of us longer than others to get over this huge surgery.

[emwonderfull]

Susan I'm so sorry you are having to go through all this. I'm with Lynn and glad my dr wouldnt give me additional pain meds. I haven't had anything over a lortab 2-3 times a week for months....but there have been days where I feel horrible. I mean really, really bad. I'm not in pain, but "really uncomfortable" I know a pain pill would make me physically feel better, but then I also don't like the psychological part of it. Iam having insomnia, I've always had insomnia, but not like this. I toss and turn and lay wide awake every night not just some. I remember reading about others having this trouble and thought they should take ambien it will help...it doesn't. I've even taken two and slept maybe 4 hrs. Its unbelievable.

Yesterday was a real bad day, I felt achey and so sad. There are many days like today where I just sit and cry. I miss being able to move and do, but then know my spine was collapsing on itself then and now it is straighter and I am happy about that. There is so much I just don't feel like doing, everyone thinks because it has been 6 mths I should be back to normal and doing everthing, but I can't. I do try, but I can't. I feel guilty because my four yr old wants to do stuff and I am so tired on the weekend after working all wk I just want to do nothing, but the house needs mopped and dusted and my carpets! The teenagers are used to me cleaning everything, it is such a fight with them to get them to help now.

I'm sorry I'm complaining so much, I don't let anyone know how rough it is. Then I explode!

I know we will all get through this!

[JenniferG]

Insomnia is the pits. Without sleep, nothing is right. If you could sleep, I'm sure everything would be much more manageable.

Have you spoken to your dr. about your insomina, Em? I know you won't want more drugs, but maybe there is something else he can suggest. Or maybe it's worth taking another pill to try to get some sleep. There are a range of different medications that may help. I think sometimes not sleeping sets up a pattern and it needs to be broken and a new pattern made. I'm saying this from 8 years of insomnia, which has been cured, I believe, from all the drugs I was taking after surgery, that made me sleep. Now I sleep a minimum of 7 hours and often as much as 9 hours per night. Now when I have a bad night (less than 7 hours!) it scares hell out of me because I think it's all going pear shaped again.

I used to be one who wouldn't take a pill for anything but I now believe there is a time and place for medication and it really can make the difference.

I hope things improve for you very soon.

[jrnyc]

Hi Susan

i sent you a P.M.

just for information, hot flashes can be hormonal imbalance...& that can cause depression...big time!

best of luck, hope you feel better soon
jess

[Doodles]

Susan--
I'm so sorry you are going through all of this and do hope an adjustment of meds may help you. I really have no answers. With a little one it has to be doubly difficult. I truly hope things will improve.
Em--
I'm just 6 months too and I can relate to your post. I have to say I'm doing very well and most say wonderfully. I look straighter, slimmer, and can walk so people assume you are cured. My whole family was here this last week and my girls were all very helpful. However, that didn't come without a giant blow-up about a month ago where it seemed Mom was back to normal and she will do it all again. The come-to-Jesus moment was long overdue and thankfully they have stepped up to the plate.
I sometimes get discouraged since it seems most on here have bipassed me and I must be a sluggard or something. My main problem is just being so tired by afternoon and now I'm not even working. My working is exercises! Still on quite a few meds too. Plus I hear what everyone else can do so early and I'm being told at my 6 month check with a local surgeon that you can forget about ever doing yoga, pilates, etc. etc. (I've always done those kind of classes.) After what I had done he said that's going to be impossible. He saw the before and after and went Wow! He was a super guy and I think it's realistic. I guess sometimes I read others and think why can't I?? I know we all heal and have had different things done. I am really very pleased. But, Em, your post just struck a chord. You may have to have a come to Jesus meeting too. I think we may have to carry our x-rays around with us so folks don't think we're just sandbagging! Janet.

[JenniferG]

"I think we may have to carry our x-rays around with us so folks don't think we're just sandbagging! Janet."

That's not such a silly idea. Most people are stunned when they see our x-rays, so it really hits home at what a huge surgery this is. Yours in particular Janet. Hell, if my family hadn't been pulling their weight when I needed them (when let's face it, we do a lifetime of work for them), I'd have had my pics enlarged, framed and hung on the wall at the front door!

[debbei]

Susan I'm so sorry you are having to go through all this. I'm with Lynn and glad my dr wouldnt give me additional pain meds. I haven't had anything over a lortab 2-3 times a week for months....but there have been days where I feel horrible. I mean really, really bad. I'm not in pain, but "really uncomfortable" I know a pain pill would make me physically feel better, but then I also don't like the psychological part of it. Iam having insomnia, I've always had insomnia, but not like this. I toss and turn and lay wide awake every night not just some. I remember reading about others having this trouble and thought they should take ambien it will help...it doesn't. I've even taken two and slept maybe 4 hrs. Its unbelievable.

Yesterday was a real bad day, I felt achey and so sad. There are many days like today where I just sit and cry. I miss being able to move and do, but then know my spine was collapsing on itself then and now it is straighter and I am happy about that. There is so much I just don't feel like doing, everyone thinks because it has been 6 mths I should be back to normal and doing everthing, but I can't. I do try, but I can't. I feel guilty because my four yr old wants to do stuff and I am so tired on the weekend after working all wk I just want to do nothing, but the house needs mopped and dusted and my carpets! The teenagers are used to me cleaning everything, it is such a fight with them to get them to help now.

I'm sorry I'm complaining so much, I don't let anyone know how rough it is. Then I explode!

I know we will all get through this!

Em,

I'm sorry you're having it so rough. You have to let your family know how rough it is so they CAN help. Weather they want to or not. You're only 4 months post op--maybe you're over-doing it physically, around the house. I know when I did at that stage, I paid for it dearly for WEEKS.

When do you go for your next checkup with the surgeon? Maybe they could give you something other than painpills--muscle relaxants maybe? To take only when you're having a rough time?

Take care of yourself,

[LynnMarie74]

Hey Debbe! It's been awhile since we chatted. Hope all is well....I was thinking....your one my anniversary must be coming up soon! I supposed I could have looked at your signature before I hit reply! DOH! Anyway......I hope your back and shoulder are behaving!! Are you still working? Just wanted to see how you were....take care!!


Lynn

[Bionic Woman]

Depression

I think some of the depression I'm dealing with, which really isn't too bad, is from thinking I should be progressing more quickly than what I am. My surgeon keeps telling me that "I've been through a very intense and serious surgery and it takes time to heal". I know this, but still feel like I should be able to do more than what I'm doing. I'm not pushing too much, so no worries. I'm only taking Vicodin's 2-3 times a day, so I think I'm doing really well with that part.

Debbie

[debbei]

I think some of the depression I'm dealing with, which really isn't too bad, is from thinking I should be progressing more quickly than what I am. My surgeon keeps telling me that "I've been through a very intense and serious surgery and it takes time to heal". I know this, but still feel like I should be able to do more than what I'm doing. I'm not pushing too much, so no worries. I'm only taking Vicodin's 2-3 times a day, so I think I'm doing really well with that part.

Debbie

Debbie,

I can't recall exactly when your surgery was, but I'm thinking it was relatively recent. Please don't be impatient with yourself, your surgeon is right! Before you know it, this time when you are bieng pampered will be over and you'll be back to doing more than you want to! I say...enjoy the pampering, but at the same time push yourself with common sense and a little bit of caution. We have to be careful not to overdo or then we pay big time. At least that how it was, as still is, for me.

[asccbodypro]

Hey Debbie,

Haven't touched base with you in a while. Hang in there. It's a hard road we travel to return back to "normal". If there even is a normal after this surgery. I guess we all have our own idea of normal at this point. I am feeling a little better this week. After speaking with the pharmasist about weaning off the valium she let me know I was doing it way to fast and that's where most of my depression was coming from. I hope you can start to feel better soon. I too am still expecting so much of myself and really pushing to get better and take care of the baby. I am starting to make some strides there but it isn't always easy....some day things will be better. I keep TRYING to tell myself that!