So... I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky person, able to deal with a lot and not let things bother me. The other day, I experienced something that kind of brought me down for a bit, and I feel the need to share because I know I am not alone. Also, it's a big part of the reason I came to this board...
Did you ever picture yourself in your mind and see yourself as one way... then you look in the mirror and remember "Oh, I don't look like that." Obviously, you don't see your own back very often. My surgery was 12 years ago, and I'm thinking that maybe the last time I took 2 mirrors and checked out my bare back was probably 10 years ago. When I picture my back, I see a straight, normal, beautiful back... with just a thin scar running the length of it. I don't care about my scar and never cared if people saw it. A few weeks ago, I got my hair cut, and as I was about to get in the shower, I decided to check out my new 'do I took a mirror and checked it out in a full length mirror. When I saw my back, I was actually surprised and disappointed. It is still crooked (they never fixed my lumbar curve), my right shoulder blade sticks out, and i have a bit of a rib hump on one side. I should NOT be shocked by this and it should NOT bring me down anymore. But it did for awhile. You can't really see this about me with clothes on, so it's really not a big deal. But it brought back lots of memories and made me feel sad for a little while. I am now back to my state of denial and thinking I have the perfect back (Haha... and what's so wrong with that?!?!), so I am doing fine. Maybe delusions aren't so bad after all... why not live my life thinking I have a lovely back?
I often find myself telling people "I had scoliosis" and when I saw my back for what it is, it hit me that "I have scoliosis." I put most of that whole debacle in my past, so when I remember that it's still with me, I feel sad. I started researching this condition all over again, and in my searches I found this forum and also purchased ScoliBands for myself and my parents I am so overwhelmingly happy that I did... everything truly does seem to happen for a reason. I feel so safe and comforted here, I enjoy reading people's stories and triumphs over scoliosis, and I feel like I found friends. I am still the only person I know with scoliosis and who has had that surgery, so even though I knew I was definitely not alone, it was hard not to feel like I was sometimes. So this is one big "THANK YOU" (probably not the last!) to everyone here who has read my posts and given advice or kind words. And one big "You're awesome!!!" to everyone posting on this forum
Basically, I just wanted to put this out there in case anyone else has "delusions of grandeur" about their back and has ever been seriously let down to find out they were a bit wrong. It's a crummy feeling, but I'm giving you permission to get over it relatively quickly and keep thinking you're perfectly perfect.
Did you ever picture yourself in your mind and see yourself as one way... then you look in the mirror and remember "Oh, I don't look like that." Obviously, you don't see your own back very often. My surgery was 12 years ago, and I'm thinking that maybe the last time I took 2 mirrors and checked out my bare back was probably 10 years ago. When I picture my back, I see a straight, normal, beautiful back... with just a thin scar running the length of it. I don't care about my scar and never cared if people saw it. A few weeks ago, I got my hair cut, and as I was about to get in the shower, I decided to check out my new 'do I took a mirror and checked it out in a full length mirror. When I saw my back, I was actually surprised and disappointed. It is still crooked (they never fixed my lumbar curve), my right shoulder blade sticks out, and i have a bit of a rib hump on one side. I should NOT be shocked by this and it should NOT bring me down anymore. But it did for awhile. You can't really see this about me with clothes on, so it's really not a big deal. But it brought back lots of memories and made me feel sad for a little while. I am now back to my state of denial and thinking I have the perfect back (Haha... and what's so wrong with that?!?!), so I am doing fine. Maybe delusions aren't so bad after all... why not live my life thinking I have a lovely back?
I often find myself telling people "I had scoliosis" and when I saw my back for what it is, it hit me that "I have scoliosis." I put most of that whole debacle in my past, so when I remember that it's still with me, I feel sad. I started researching this condition all over again, and in my searches I found this forum and also purchased ScoliBands for myself and my parents I am so overwhelmingly happy that I did... everything truly does seem to happen for a reason. I feel so safe and comforted here, I enjoy reading people's stories and triumphs over scoliosis, and I feel like I found friends. I am still the only person I know with scoliosis and who has had that surgery, so even though I knew I was definitely not alone, it was hard not to feel like I was sometimes. So this is one big "THANK YOU" (probably not the last!) to everyone here who has read my posts and given advice or kind words. And one big "You're awesome!!!" to everyone posting on this forum
Basically, I just wanted to put this out there in case anyone else has "delusions of grandeur" about their back and has ever been seriously let down to find out they were a bit wrong. It's a crummy feeling, but I'm giving you permission to get over it relatively quickly and keep thinking you're perfectly perfect.
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