Thank you all for your kind words. I find my journey through life challenging, yet I have no choice but to keep trying to get into the mainstream of life. My brother said that he thought that I was "so calm" when he saw me during my hospitalization for evaluation of my paraplegia. He did not see me when I woke up at 0700 to the phlebotomist wanting to draw my blood when I discovered that neither of my legs moved at all. I became hysterical crying and sobbing in distress that things had deteriorated to this point before the eyes of the many doctors that somehow could not figure out what was happening. How could so many so intelligent people not be able to figure this out? I remember grabbing the hand of one of the doctors and asking him to come back because, "We need to figure this out!". My son remembers me in the first nursing home as my paralysis was not improving saying that we would somehow, "make this work", that we would figure out what to do to help me walk.
And now, a year later, I am walking some with crutches and using the wheelchair at other times. The tightness around my abdomen, my crutches, leg weakness, I could go on an on are constant reminders of what was as well as what I still need to do to get into the mainstream of life. I try not to dwell on the "shoulda, coulda, woulda" which would be an easy retreat for me, but not useful for moving forward. I have visited there over and over again in the past year recreating possible scenarios and possible interventions with more favorable outcomes.
The past 2 weeks and this week are difficult for me as I am on the one year anniversary of an ill-fated month from 24 July to 20 August. I visited my primary MD last week for my annual Medicare wellness visit, and I must admit a little PTSD in the clinic as I relived my ill-fated entry into 2 weeks of spinal cord injury. I find myself looking at the date on my watch and wanting to go forward to 20 August when I had emergency surgery with Dr. Hiratzka and then began my journey through rehab into my regaining some of my life that I have lost. There is a lot more of life for me to grab and embrace.
Susan
And now, a year later, I am walking some with crutches and using the wheelchair at other times. The tightness around my abdomen, my crutches, leg weakness, I could go on an on are constant reminders of what was as well as what I still need to do to get into the mainstream of life. I try not to dwell on the "shoulda, coulda, woulda" which would be an easy retreat for me, but not useful for moving forward. I have visited there over and over again in the past year recreating possible scenarios and possible interventions with more favorable outcomes.
The past 2 weeks and this week are difficult for me as I am on the one year anniversary of an ill-fated month from 24 July to 20 August. I visited my primary MD last week for my annual Medicare wellness visit, and I must admit a little PTSD in the clinic as I relived my ill-fated entry into 2 weeks of spinal cord injury. I find myself looking at the date on my watch and wanting to go forward to 20 August when I had emergency surgery with Dr. Hiratzka and then began my journey through rehab into my regaining some of my life that I have lost. There is a lot more of life for me to grab and embrace.
Susan
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