I need some confidence....anyone have any to give me? Making the BIG decision!

[susancook]

Hi Susan,

I feel for you as you make your way through this decision-making mine-field. Right now you're suffering a little bit of scheduler's remorse. It happened to me, and I am sure it is very common. You can move past it. Pull out your list of reasons why you decided to have surgery, and keep referring to it.

I think you have done a lot and can continue to work toward controlling your situation as much as possible. You have made many supportive friends here on this forum. You have realized that not having surgery is not a viable option. You have worked hard and traveled to find an excellent surgeon who you are comfortable with. Next step is to work really hard on optimizing your cardiovascular condition as much as possible before surgery. Remember, those thighs of steel! You need them!

Yes, I agree, our situations with our backs are disappointing and just not fair, but I know you are strong enough to move past that. Keep your eyes on the prize! You have a lot of support here. Chin up my friend!

Thanks Gayle...words of wisdom from someone who has been there multiple times....you are my hero!. I have started my list of why I need the surgery and why not to have surgery.The side of NEED is more compelling.

To day the thought of canceling the surgery occurred to me briefly. I don't know where it came from, it just broadsided me! And then I thought, "If not now, when?". The timing is actually convenient [well, somewhat....who has months to just heal and take drugs?]. Got to get that thought out of my head! Susan

[susancook]

Bummed....

I sent some questions to Dr. Hu about pain after surgery. She said that "with the length of time that you have had the sciatic pain, she is not sure she can reliably improve this". Am I bummed! My anterior thigh hurts so much and the thought of this not improving after surgery is frustrating. I'll be really bummed if I lose the mobility of my back, go through all of the surgical pain, only to still have sciatic/leg pain. ;+[ Susan

[Pooka1]

I sent some questions to Dr. Hu about pain after surgery. She said that "with the length of time that you have had the sciatic pain, she is not sure she can reliably improve this". Am I bummed! My anterior thigh hurts so much and the thought of this not improving after surgery is frustrating. I'll be really bummed if I lose the mobility of my back, go through all of the surgical pain, only to still have sciatic/leg pain. ;+[ Susan

Well it would be pretty huge also if you avoided future nerve pain with the surgery. Isn't that one of the reasons to have surgery?

For the benefit of others who struggle through years of sciatica, how long did you have that pain? I bet many don't know that if you wait too long, not even surgery can help in some cases.

Good luck, Susan

[loves to skate]

Susan,
I guess I missed your post where you said you decided to have the surgery. You will have a lot of anxious moments before your surgery, but try not to think of the negatives. Even though I still have pain, I am not disabled to the extent that I was prior to surgery. Pain can be dealt with but disability like you have now will not improve unless you have surgery. Imagery was a big help to me. I imagined myself going for walks, shopping, museums and all the things you can do while walking. I imagined myself back on my roller skates. Imagine yourself back in Fiji helping all those ladies in Fiji who need you so much.
I will be going on a Clipper Ship cruise next week in the Leeward Islands, something I could never have been able to do before my surgery.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Sally

[susancook]

Well it would be pretty huge also if you avoided future nerve pain with the surgery. Isn't that one of the reasons to have surgery?

For the benefit of others who struggle through years of sciatica, how long did you have that pain? I bet many don't know that if you wait too long, not even surgery can help in some cases.

Good luck, Susan

I have had R sciatic pain that radiated to back and my buttocks for about 1.5 years. It just started in my anterior thigh about 9 months ago. I have had 3 corticosteroid inj: 1st lasted 1 month, 2nd lasted 2 months, and 3rd lasted 4 days. I was hoping that the third one [done in Dec 2012] would last a couple of months. The pain amangement MD at OHSU said that I could only have 4 in a year and that I would have to wait 4 more months for another. Presently, I can stand for about 5 minutes tops before thigh pain sets in [if that long].

I was trying to interpret what she [Dr. Hu] said. I think that she means not to get my hopes up, that surgery is not a guarantee for fixing the pain. My physical therapist today said that sometimes with chronic pain, your body has pain pathways set up and that chronic pain may permanently change your perception of pain along those pathways.

Still bummed, but now, more than before, I believe that I need to have the surgery. Still not happy about it, but now at least am on the team!

Susan

[susancook]

Susan,
I guess I missed your post where you said you decided to have the surgery. You will have a lot of anxious moments before your surgery, but try not to think of the negatives. Even though I still have pain, I am not disabled to the extent that I was prior to surgery. Pain can be dealt with but disability like you have now will not improve unless you have surgery. Imagery was a big help to me. I imagined myself going for walks, shopping, museums and all the things you can do while walking. I imagined myself back on my roller skates. Imagine yourself back in Fiji helping all those ladies in Fiji who need you so much.
I will be going on a Clipper Ship cruise next week in the Leeward Islands, something I could never have been able to do before my surgery.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Sally

Have fun on your cruise! Yes, surgery is March 12 & 14 in San Francisco. You are totally right, my back will not improve on it's own. My new motto is, "If not now, when?" OK to wait if your back isn't deteriorating and you have time to spare. At 66, I am not getting any younger! And now I have a coronal balance of 11.something.

I will try imagery. Do you have a tape or book that you could recommend? I started in hypnosis today....I have 4 more sessions.

Mark and I are going to Mexico for 3 weeks starting on Saturday. I am not on any pain meds....we'll see how I survive! Maybe Margaritas?

Susan

[susancook]

In Mexico...barely made it on and off the plane as the walking was awful! Having difficulty walking. Surgery date has changed as Dr. Hu is going out of the country. Now really convinced that I DO NEED SURGERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Susan

[Irina]

When is your new surgery date?

[susancook]

When is your new surgery date?

Just received an email. It will be the 19 and 22 of March.
Susan

[golfnut]

Susan,
Sometimes it's easier to KNOW that you are making the right decision when you have pain. Since I didn't have much pain, I really second guessed myself constantly. In spite of that, I have never regretted having surgery at age 60. You are making the right decision for a happy, healthy, active life with much less pain!

[JuliaAnn]

Susan, how long will you be on your trip? I hope you have time to rest your back before returning. Sorry that you have so much pain. I agree that the pain makes the decision for surgery easier. I'm in my fourth month of recovery and I feel better now than I have felt for literally years! You will be so glad you got surgery. You'll be able to do so much more.

I hope you're having a wonderful time now. I'd love to see a photo of you enjoying that balmy sunshine!

[susancook]

Susan,
Sometimes it's easier to KNOW that you are making the right decision when you have pain. Since I didn't have much pain, I really second guessed myself constantly. In spite of that, I have never regretted having surgery at age 60. You are making the right decision for a happy, healthy, active life with much less pain!

We are in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. We came here 3 years ago and I walked around for hours without pain. We just came back from grocery shopping and I had to stop every block to sit down. Boy, are those benches dirty. I got back to the hotel and on the final steps, my husband said, "Just go for a walk and you know that you need surgery". Irina, he appreciated the comment that your husband said!

So, I'm on my heating pad and trying to recover. Yes, it does make the surgery situation more appealing. Right after surgery, when I first walk, I will be looking for right leg pain.

Thanks for your support. I really need it. I am still afraid.....Susan

[susancook]

Susan, how long will you be on your trip? I hope you have time to rest your back before returning. Sorry that you have so much pain. I agree that the pain makes the decision for surgery easier. I'm in my fourth month of recovery and I feel better now than I have felt for literally years! You will be so glad you got surgery. You'll be able to do so much more.

I hope you're having a wonderful time now. I'd love to see a photo of you enjoying that balmy sunshine!

WOW four months since surgery and you feel great! That gives me some hope. Our trip is for 3 weeks. Rest before surgery, ha! I have so much to do when I get home.

I would post a picture but I have not set anything up to do that yet. Send me your email via a private message and I think that I can send you one via my phone email.
Susanna

[golfnut]

Susan,
It's normal to be afraid, however, most of the things I worried about didn't happen. I had no problem stopping pain medications and I had worried terribly about going through withdrawal. I also feared extreme pain and I didn't have it. You just have to bite the bullet,hope for the best, and take one day at a time with the attitude that you will continue to improve and your future is going to be better because you had the guts to have the surgery now. I realize that I had a smoother recovery than many, but many others who have smooth recoveries move on with their lives and quit posting.
You have everything going for you. You'll do just fine!

[susancook]

Depressing choices

Trying to feel more confident about surgery. Part, well most of me wants to back out. When I feel ok, I think that maybe the X-ray is wrong and that I don't have degeneration. I do believe that I have a stenosis since my butt and thigh hurt when I stand or walk. I only had one visit with Dr. Hu, maybe I need her reassurance that things are as bad as I think that they are.

As I figure it, maybe I have 2 choices:

- to not have surgery and possibly watch my discs degenerate and my vertebrae become more stenotic. Then maybe need surgery when I get worse and am older ( new readers, I am already old!). But maybe, maybe I could be OK without surgery.

- to have surgery means that I will have the change and inconvenience of fusion from T3 to sacrum. Pain after one year and for the rest of my life could be more pain, the same pain, or maybe less pain or no pain. Maybe I will have more disability or maybe my number was up and I am the 1 of 100 that Dr. Hu gave me as statistics for death at my age with my projected surgery.

Maybe I should meet again with Dr. Hu. Where is my confidence? (Curse word deleted)
Susan