Its okay .... This too will pass
Hello Vic -
Hope you are feeling better with the responses to your posts. I haven't posted much cos in the first year after my surgery I like you felt that some of my feelings would seem silly or plain ungrateful. Then I blamed myself as well for anytime I might have bent slightly or lifted something more than 5lbs etc. Fast forward 18 months post op and I know all those feelings were valid and that is why I wanted to send you a response since I dealt with this too.
Don't worry yourself too much. My surgeon said exactly what Linda said. He said in the case of large curves, the deformity in the rib cage becomes permanent so even after they derotate the spine some assymetry is still there. Unlike your surgeon, my surgeon actually told me he would do the thoracoplasty and had me sign the forms for that as well. However he did not feel it was necessary after he got in there. I know when we are sooo young, in as much as we don't go into it for the cosmetic appearance we feel like that should be our "gift" for going through this ordeal. I was really upset that he did not do the thoracoplasty esp since I do still have a bit of a hump. I honestly could not get it out of my mind so I just asked him point blank when I went for my 1yr appt. His answer was that it really isn't worth it cos it would not take away all the assymetry anyways and would only cause worse post op pains which in my case I honestly cannot imagine worse pain as I am 18 months post op and not yet completely pain free.
We are always most critical of ourselves so always remember that. The spine continues to settle in the first year or so so as someone else mentioned your appearance will continue to change. Don't beat yourself up. I know I did and that is why I hope you don't. You look great to me and I am sure you are the only one that notices this. I had a big hollow on the right side of my chest and a very prominent left side due to the derotation of my spine. I hated it soooo much but the good news is as I gained back the 10-15 lbs I lost post op, the right side has filled up and it doesn't look as bad. It is still there but definitely looks better so in my mind is a good justification for gaining some weight
Finally I am just learning each day to accept my new body post op, appreciating the improvement and accepting that life is not perfect.
Healing thoughts
GOE
Originally posted by PollensaGirl
View Post
Hope you are feeling better with the responses to your posts. I haven't posted much cos in the first year after my surgery I like you felt that some of my feelings would seem silly or plain ungrateful. Then I blamed myself as well for anytime I might have bent slightly or lifted something more than 5lbs etc. Fast forward 18 months post op and I know all those feelings were valid and that is why I wanted to send you a response since I dealt with this too.
Don't worry yourself too much. My surgeon said exactly what Linda said. He said in the case of large curves, the deformity in the rib cage becomes permanent so even after they derotate the spine some assymetry is still there. Unlike your surgeon, my surgeon actually told me he would do the thoracoplasty and had me sign the forms for that as well. However he did not feel it was necessary after he got in there. I know when we are sooo young, in as much as we don't go into it for the cosmetic appearance we feel like that should be our "gift" for going through this ordeal. I was really upset that he did not do the thoracoplasty esp since I do still have a bit of a hump. I honestly could not get it out of my mind so I just asked him point blank when I went for my 1yr appt. His answer was that it really isn't worth it cos it would not take away all the assymetry anyways and would only cause worse post op pains which in my case I honestly cannot imagine worse pain as I am 18 months post op and not yet completely pain free.
We are always most critical of ourselves so always remember that. The spine continues to settle in the first year or so so as someone else mentioned your appearance will continue to change. Don't beat yourself up. I know I did and that is why I hope you don't. You look great to me and I am sure you are the only one that notices this. I had a big hollow on the right side of my chest and a very prominent left side due to the derotation of my spine. I hated it soooo much but the good news is as I gained back the 10-15 lbs I lost post op, the right side has filled up and it doesn't look as bad. It is still there but definitely looks better so in my mind is a good justification for gaining some weight
Finally I am just learning each day to accept my new body post op, appreciating the improvement and accepting that life is not perfect.
Healing thoughts
GOE
Comment