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  • #1

    Body Image

    What types of emotional responses did you post-ops (especially the more mature ones) experience when you saw your beautiful new backs (aside from the thrill of be able to buy clothes that fit properly)? I'm wondering what it will feel like when I no longer have a deformed torso. I've lived with it for 50 years, and I'm sure a lot of my behaviours are defensive ones I acquired over the years to sheild myself from ridicule.

    Thanks,

    Janet
    As of 12/25/07, age 62, 100* thoracic kyphosis, 73* L1-S1 lordosis, 37*/25* compensatory S-curve scoliosis. On 12/26/07, Dr. Boachie @ HSS NYC did 11 hours ant. & post. procedures, fused T2-L2, kyphosis now 57*, scoli 10*. Regained 2 1/4 inches in height!! Improving every day.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Hello Janet- Since you asked....

    A couple of weeks ago, I was waiting in a mostly empty fast food restaurant and pacing back and forth inside waiting for a friend to meet me for lunch. I felt self conscious about people staring at my back and rib hump as I walked. And then, I remembered...I don't have a crooked back and rib hump anymore!!! It was quite liberating....Old habits are hard to break, but it is okay to make new ones and break out of the old thinking.. Good luck to you, dear, I am excited for you... Lisa
    Lisa age 47
    T curve 69 degrees
    L curve 40 degrees more or less - compensatory
    fused to from T-3 to sacrum
    anterior and posterior surgeries completed June 1, 2007
    pushing hard in recovery !!

    Comment

    • #3
      Hi Janet

      I was wondering, it looks to me like you are having a revision surgery??? Did i read correctly? I am 1 month post op and when i look at my back i can still see a little bit of a hump on my right side. My shoulder blade sticks out just a little bit more. I can see that i am not 100 percent but it really does look good compared to what it was. Dr. Pashman said it was a 60 percent correction and was happy with that.

      Deb
      Last edited by DebbieM; 11-17-2007, 08:47 PM.
      A/P Surgery Oct.15 and 18, 2007
      T2 to Sacrum
      Pre-surgery 56* T 60* L
      Post-surgery 28* T 30* L
      Dr. Pashman, Cedars-Sinai Hospital
      Bevery Hills, CA

      Debbie, age 51 at surgery.
      Now, 59 yrs young :-)

      Comment

      • #4
        Nice lookin back there ya got deb!.

        Here are my before and after pics that were taken 2 weeks post-op. I am now almost 4 weeks post-op to date...
        -----------------
        Jane

        34 yrs old
        Diagnosed at 12; Boston Brace for a year; ScoliTron for 3 months. Curves left untreated after 13 yrs old until 27yrs old.
        Pre-Op Upper Curve: 49; Post-Op: 14
        Pre-Op Lower Curve: 51; Post-Op: 18
        Posterior Reconstruction from T2-L3 on Oct 22, 2007
        Dr McNulty - UMC Hospital
        Las Vegas, NV

        Comment

        • #5
          Janet -- the cosmetic results aren't apparent right away because you're swollen after surgery. When I first stood up and walked around, my body felt very crooked, but not in the way I had felt crooked before -- I felt completely off-kilter because I wasn't used to my new posture yet. That took about a month to get used to. It took 2-3 months for everything to settle down and for me to realize that I was indeed straight and had a fabulous new bod that I now love showing off. I had no trouble ditching all of my long baggy sweaters and jackets and switching over to more form-hugging clothes!!

          So the short answer is: it's a process, and you won't get the full impact of your new body all at once. You kind of grow into it. Over the past 5 months I have gradually developed a feeling of relief and freedom about how I look, but I'm still a bit preoccupied with post-op pain and weakness issues.
          Last edited by Singer; 11-18-2007, 08:40 AM.
          Chris
          A/P fusion on June 19, 2007 at age 52; T10-L5
          Pre-op thoracolumbar curve: 70 degrees
          Post-op curve: 12 degrees
          Dr. Boachie-adjei, HSS, New York

          Comment

          • #6
            This is a very good question. Sometimes old habits are hard to let go, especially when you've lived with them for so long. My husband laughed at me in the first 2 months or so post-op because I kept checking in the mirror to make sure I still had 2 real hips! He kept reassuring me that my back was not going to go back to the way it was. I still feel my back often to make sure I'm not getting my rip hump back. My brain knows I'm not, but I still feel reassured just to check. I know that sounds paranoid and silly, but it takes a while to realize that you have a new body. I'm 5 months post-op and still realizing this. Change can be scary even when it is for the better, but this is GREAT change!

            Best of luck,
            Anya
            "You must be the change you want to see in the world."

            Previously 55 degree thoracolumbar curve
            Surgery June 5, 2007 - Dr. Clifford Tribus, University of Wisconsin Hospital
            19 degrees post-op!

            http://abhbarry.blogspot.com

            Comment

            • #7
              I haven't lived with this as long as you have, but I have had an overwhelming emotional response over the last couple months of recovery.

              First, it was such a relief to let all my family and friends know what I'd been going through, and to have all their support. No more hiding! I've also found myself relaxing so much more in the way I move, not feeling so self-conscious of real or imagined deformities. I still have a rib hump, but I just don't care as much as I used to if anyone notices it.

              This is a really interesting topic to me, and I'm excited to read further responses.
              31 year old female
              55* (day of surgery) thoracic curve w/compensatory lumbar
              T4-T12 on Aug 15, 2007
              MRI, pre-surgery
              Xray, 3 mos. post-op
              Machu Picchu, 8 mos. post-op

              Comment

              • #8
                I am out almost a year & 3 mos ! I was over whelmed too, after about 6 mos at how straight I was. My rib hump is gone!
                I do notice now that the left hip is more pronounced and of course I can't expect perfection since I still have a 60 degree curve-lumbar. I try to work at remembering how bad I was as we all tend to take things forgranted as time goes on....
                I still touch my back in the morning to feel the flatness...weird but it's a good feeling not to fell the hump there!
                Lynne
                fused T-11 to L-5/boachie/kim aug 2006
                http://lynnebackattack.blogspot.com

                Comment

                • #9
                  Thanks for all your thoughtful responses. I have learned so much from you "post-ies"

                  Debbie - I should clarify - this is my first time surgery; the stats in my signature line are confusing; what I was trying to point out is how my kyphotic curve has accelerated in such a short time period (and it's probably gotten worse since April).

                  Dr. B. told me last month that, because of the longevity of the deformity, he does not expect my pushed-out right shoulder blade to be completely corrected - there still likely will be a hump, albeit a lot smaller. Of course I was disappointed to hear that - I turn green with envy when I see women with lovely straight backs, who probably just take them for granted. However, I know that the surgery will stop the progression, straighten the curves to some degree, alleviate pain and restore my balance. My center of gravity has been so off for 50 years, I can only imagine how weird it will be to re-learn how to walk, sit, etc. Eventually I may actually be able to ride a bicycle without falling over!
                  As of 12/25/07, age 62, 100* thoracic kyphosis, 73* L1-S1 lordosis, 37*/25* compensatory S-curve scoliosis. On 12/26/07, Dr. Boachie @ HSS NYC did 11 hours ant. & post. procedures, fused T2-L2, kyphosis now 57*, scoli 10*. Regained 2 1/4 inches in height!! Improving every day.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Per Dr. B's instructions, I consulted with a neurologist. She looked at my most recent MRI, and just looking at the plane showing the scoli curves, she paused and said something like "wow, your spine has some major curves!" I replied "just wait until you get to the views showing the kyphosis curve."

                    Her comment made me smile because now I know I am not crazy. For decades I have favored the "oversize shirts & jackets haute coutour" style and, as many of you have posted, people just don't notice the curves until they're told. A big change I made about 2 months ago was to shed the baggy outer wrappings and actually go out in public wearing just a cotton knit pullover, with the deformity being very obvious. I had decided to "come out" because I accepted that although this is me now, I did not cause this and I am doing what I can to improve it (plus I decided I didn't care what people would think).

                    Hugs,
                    Janet
                    As of 12/25/07, age 62, 100* thoracic kyphosis, 73* L1-S1 lordosis, 37*/25* compensatory S-curve scoliosis. On 12/26/07, Dr. Boachie @ HSS NYC did 11 hours ant. & post. procedures, fused T2-L2, kyphosis now 57*, scoli 10*. Regained 2 1/4 inches in height!! Improving every day.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Wearing clothes that fit to you.... It will be delightful!!!! Congrats



                      Originally posted by Janet
                      What types of emotional responses did you post-ops (especially the more mature ones) experience when you saw your beautiful new backs (aside from the thrill of be able to buy clothes that fit properly)? I'm wondering what it will feel like when I no longer have a deformed torso. I've lived with it for 50 years, and I'm sure a lot of my behaviours are defensive ones I acquired over the years to sheild myself from ridicule.

                      Thanks,

                      Janet

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Relief!

                        I'm so relieved to know I'm not the only person in the world that feels this way! I've known since I was 13 that my back curves, but as I became an adult, I'd get so frustrated with buying clothes, especially pants. I never realize why this was so frustrating (duh!). I have maybe 1/2" between my bottom rib and my hip bone, and trying to find jeans or slacks that don't come up to right under my boobs was a task. When low rise jeans came to the stores several years ago, I almost cried I was so happy! And the jacket thing, I have a closet full of jackets, blazers, hoodies and twin set sweaters for camouflage. Now I feel somewhat vindicated knowing it wasn't just me being too picky about how my clothes fit.
                        I've spent hours in the last couple of weeks reading the different threads and stories and looking at before and after pictures. Thank you everyone for being willing to share your experiences so people like me who are just beginning this adventure can learn so much! You are all an inspiration!
                        Becky, 46 years old
                        Diagnosed at 13 with mild scoliosis
                        Ignored until 448/07
                        Left thoracic 49* T5-T11
                        Right thorocolumbar 60* T11-L4
                        Surgery Monday, June 9, 2008 Oklahoma Spine Hospital
                        Fused T-10 to L-5
                        14 titanium pedicle screws
                        Corrected to approx. 10* YEA!!!
                        Email

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          I just always wear shirts untucked, I tend to wear my boys hand-me-downs too. Doesn't look great but it's all to baggy for anyone to notice the scoliosis, and it doesn't pull crooked so much.
                          2 60* curves, DDD, left trunk shift, some rotation, rib and lumbar humps, annular tear at L5-S1
                          surgery 5/08 planning fusion T3 or T4 to sacrum with iliac fixation
                          Dr. Anderson at Rothman Institute
                          5/16/08 ALIF L1-L5
                          5/23/08 fused T2-sacrum w/fixation and I'm all Titanium
                          6/4/08 open all back up to clean out for Staph infection
                          (left open with just clear dressing)
                          6/6/08 recleaned and closed
                          3/30/2012 revision planned, broken rod and removal of iliac bolts

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            I am 3 months post-op and I am not all that happy yet about my new body. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled at the fact that I so far have no back pain from the scoliosis anymore. I have gained 20 lbs. (I am 5'1" and 147 lbs. way too much for my height) since my surgery, the most I have ever weighed in my life. My doctor said that some of it is still swollen from surgery...maybe he was just trying to make me feel good...LOL. So, needless to say, my pants (Jeans) do not fit me anymore and I refuse to buy any. I have about 15 pairs. I have been wearing sweat outfits for 3 months now and I am getting very tired of wearing the same things. I think that when I lose weight that I will be happy with my new body. I kind of feel like I have a sway back. Does anyone feel that? I'm thinking that maybe it's because my back is the way it is supposed to be now.
                            A/P Surgery Oct.15 and 18, 2007
                            T2 to Sacrum
                            Pre-surgery 56* T 60* L
                            Post-surgery 28* T 30* L
                            Dr. Pashman, Cedars-Sinai Hospital
                            Bevery Hills, CA

                            Debbie, age 51 at surgery.
                            Now, 59 yrs young :-)

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              I felt VERY swaybacked for probably a couple of months post-op -- it felt like my butt was sticking way out when in actuality it was properly aligned with my hips for the first time in God-knows-how-long! For me, it took a long time for my brain to understand how my new body actually felt, if that makes any sense.
                              Chris
                              A/P fusion on June 19, 2007 at age 52; T10-L5
                              Pre-op thoracolumbar curve: 70 degrees
                              Post-op curve: 12 degrees
                              Dr. Boachie-adjei, HSS, New York

                              Comment

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