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Thread: Feeling really self concious...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Feeling really self concious...

    I was diagnosed with scoliosis when I was 5, so I'm used to having it. But the past couple of years I've started becoming extremely self conscious about the unevenness of my sides. I mean, it's not horribly noticeable with a shirt over it, because no one has ever asked me about it - but *I* notice it. It looks so obvious to me, & I'm constantly paranoid that people are going to see that I'm uneven. My right side is way more indented than my left, & that's the first thing I see when I look in the mirror.
    So with prom coming up, looking for prom dresses is not a fun experience. Dresses are slim-fitting, which is exactly what makes my uneven sides so obvious. Does anyone have ANY ideas how I can hide this? I mean, I could try to look for a dress that isn't as slim, but I don't want it to look baggy either. So, what can I do? Is there something I can wear underneath to balance it out..?
    & then there's the issue about bathing suits. Like I said, I've only started to get really self-conscious about this the past couple of years, so now that spring break is coming up (well, in a couple of months) & my friends are off going bathing suit shopping (we live in Florida, it's hot in January), I'm absolutely dreading it. I mean, maybe people *don't* notice anything when I have a shirt on, but they will DEFINITELY notice if I'm in a bikini. & the reason why I'm so worried about people notcing is just that I don't want to have to explain that I have scoliosis. My friends don't know, because they haven't asked & I haven't told them. I'm not going to lie about it, though, so if they notice, I'll have to tell them. & I don't want them to treat me any differently or start to pity me or whatever. I'd hate it.
    Any advice? :/ I'm mostly just feeling crappy about it, & I'm trying to get all of this off my chest.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Lawrence, Kansas/ Overland Park, KS
    hey- i totally understand where you are coming from! Prom dress shopping was horrible for me and bathing suit shopping still isn't that fun because I always notice how my back looks, and I just always think it looks gross. My mom is really good about being honest with me about how things look with my back, and with prom dresses, I have found that if you find ones that aren't cut straight across the back (my most noticable curve is in my upper back), or find a halter-style one that ties around the neck, it helps. Really, I have asked people if they noticed my back, and they honestly have told me that they never noticed until I pointed it out. I don't know what your curves are or what your back looks like, but my advice is just to wear what you want and if you pretend like you aren't self concious, other people aren't going to take notice of anything. As for bathing suits, I kinda work in the same way, I look for (two piecers) that tie around the back and neck, and the ties hanging down kinda distract from anything wrong with your back... hope that helps, you prolly knew all that anyways....

    22 yr old F,KU college student
    Scoliosis (25T, 23L) diagnosed @ 14 yrs old; curves June 08 were 45T, 32L with 18 degree rotation
    Kyphosis of 65 degrees...
    I am missing a lumbar vertebrae

    Surgery 6/30/2008 with Dr. Lawrence Lenke
    Fused T2-L2

    before/after pics
    all smiles!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    hey for prom dresses maybe go for a dress with an empire waist (and this fashion season there are some very gorgeous and elegant ones)...then the part of the dress that covers your back will be baggier (and you can find one that isnt TOO baggy). i dont know if an empire waisted dress is your style, but it's definitely an option! hope this helps and good luck!


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2007

    hey there miss

    I am 24 now but saw your post and it reminded me of how i was. i had exactly the same problems (and as far as swimming costumes still do).
    The 90's fashion tight tight tight everything was lycra, however you are lucky enough to be a teen now when the only skinny fashion is super tight jeans, team these with baggy (or bat wing) top from the 80's (band t-shirts look great and you can cut off the sleeves to to show your sexy shoulders).
    I really think that if i didnt have scoliosis i would be another one of those boring blonde clone type girls who end up marrying some muscled up moron, instead i make my own clothes, design prints for clothes that distract from my wobbly body and am an artist who doesnt even let it play on my mind that much (well til really recently). What i am saying is dont be scared to wear something a bit odd cause everyone will just look the same and boring, i would surgest this seasons female tuxedo which looks great on girls. Also my mate is a fashion journalist so i will get her to keep an eye out for prom dresses to suit you!

    also now when it comes to costumes i wear vintage vests with bikini bottoms, works a treat !!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Ventura, CA
    Hi Natalie,

    I can totally understand where you're coming from, I went through this at your age and now that I am older I am still going through it, but have some tips I have learned through the years. First of all, I hate wearing baggy clothes so that is not an option. I wear what I want to wear and then just add something cute on top, like a tank top and a little cropped sweater/shirt (which are popular now) opened in the front. For your prom dress you can do that too, they have all kinds of little shrug type tops that are dressier and go well with formal wear. My husband has several formal work parties a year and this is what I do, and each time I get compliments on what I'm wearing. As for the dreaded bathing suit, the only type I can wear without being too self conscious of my back is a tankini.

    My advice to you would be to enjoy your life as much as you can. I really missed out on alot when I was younger, like going to the beach with friends and actually enjoying it, because I was always concerned about how my back looked. I hope this advice helps.


  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Toronto, ON
    Hi Natalie,

    I know this reply is kinda late, but I read your post and thought that I'd try to help you out since I love picking out dresss. As Abbie said before if you're worried about your shoulder blade sticking out a halter dress would be best because dresses that go straight accorss the top part of your back make it more noticeable that the dress isn't flat all the way across.
    If you're more worried about your uneven sides,then you could try an empire waist dress that flows away from your body.
    Or, you could try a dress that has a bow on the waist , and if you put the bow on side where you want covered you won't notice it as much.

    Hope this helps!
    I'm 19
    Diagnosed with Scoliosis at age 16
    Curves as of June 2006: 48T & 40L
    Curves as of June 2007: 52T & 43L
    Surgery date: June 18, 2007
    "A smile is a curve that can straighten out anything"

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