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Thread: Intimacy?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    new york
    Posts
    212

    Intimacy?

    Hi
    I'm a little embarassed to ask, but..........when is it OK to return to "relations" with my significant other? My Doctor said one month and I'm just really nervous! Any advice from others who went through this would be greatly appreciated.
    Thanks!
    Jenn
    37 y/o female
    60 degree lumbar
    45 degree thoracic
    1st time anterior/posterior surgery May 8th and 10th 2006
    T 5 to S 1
    NYC

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Wheeling, WV
    Posts
    1,105
    Hi Summer,

    My Dr. told me 6 weeks. But to be perfectly honest with you, I had no desire.
    The pain was what mostly consumed me. I will say that I had to smile when I read your post, you must be feeling better than I did, to be even thinking about it. I hope you're doing as well as it appears you are!!! I think that's wonderful.

    I would go into some more detail, but this is a public forum.

    Thanks for making me smile,
    Shari

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Sacramento,Calif.
    Posts
    420
    Hi Jenn,

    Guess you're felling better from your question! I think I was about 1 month out. Husband was more concerned about hurting me then I was. I will send you a private message with more info.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    913
    I was waiting to see if anyone at any time would ask this, and even if we're shy to talk about it I think it's a great question and nothing to be embarassed about.

    I think at about one month, if you don't do anything that hurts you too much and you feel comfortable doing, it's fine. As much as I was in pain, I did have some desire to be intimate on some level with hubby at about that same time and even if we waited a few months for intercourse, there are many ways to be intimate, but won't go into details and you know what I mean

    Hope this helps.
    35 y/old female from Montreal, Canada
    Diagnosed with scoliosis(double major) at age 12, wore Boston brace 4 years at least 23 hours a day-curve progressed
    Surgery age 26 for 60 degree curve in Oct. 1997 by Dr.Max Aebi-fused T5 to L2
    Surgery age 28 for a hook removal in Feb. 1999 by Dr.Max Aebi-pain free for 5 years
    Surgery age 34 in Dec.2005 for broken rod replacement, bigger screws and crosslinks added and pseudarthrosis(non union) by Dr. Jean Ouellet

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    new york
    Posts
    212
    Thanks everyone! Thank you for all the private messages and advice
    Jenn
    37 y/o female
    60 degree lumbar
    45 degree thoracic
    1st time anterior/posterior surgery May 8th and 10th 2006
    T 5 to S 1
    NYC

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Sarasota, Florida
    Posts
    260

    Talking

    It'd be kinda cool if someone had the courage to post publicly about this issue as I'm sure many, many of us, would like to know how it all works now.
    I've been thinking about this for some time now.
    I don't have an SO but when I do find a prince charming on his fiery white steed, I'd like to be able to know what I'm in for in this department. LOL
    36 year old single mom of teens ages 14 & 15.
    Anterior/posterior spinal fusion on February 9th & 16th 2006 with Dr. Anthony Moreno who now has his own practice.
    Fused from T-3 to S-1 (sacrum)
    Curve pre-op = 70 degrees
    Curve post op = 20 degrees
    No pain anymore!!
    Google is your friend

    I am not a doctor and will never give medical advice. I will support and answer questions from personal experience only.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    new jersey
    Posts
    850
    wow.....I think the last thing I would be thking about would be sex at 1 to 2 mths post-op.......I'd be just working on getting my shoes on & off!!!...Ly (ouch!)

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Grand Rapids, MI
    Posts
    313

    Are you ever able to do the wild stuff again?

    I would like to hear from someone who has recovered from a Looonngg....
    fusion (or maybe fused to sacrum) and wondering if you are ever able to do the wild stuff again, or is the wild monkey stuff out forever and it's just the basic missionary now? Ha--I know lots of others are reading and wondering this.
    Last edited by Cakedec; 06-11-2006 at 08:53 PM.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Sarasota, Florida
    Posts
    260

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by Cakedec
    I would like to hear from someone who has recovered from a Looonngg....
    fusion (or maybe fused to sacrum) and wondering if you are ever able to do the wild stuff again, or is the wild monkey stuff out forever and it's just the basic missionary now? Ha--I know lots of others are reading and wondering this.
    Exactly!! LOL
    Will there be wild monkey hanging from the chandeliers and doing handstands sex ever again?!?
    36 year old single mom of teens ages 14 & 15.
    Anterior/posterior spinal fusion on February 9th & 16th 2006 with Dr. Anthony Moreno who now has his own practice.
    Fused from T-3 to S-1 (sacrum)
    Curve pre-op = 70 degrees
    Curve post op = 20 degrees
    No pain anymore!!
    Google is your friend

    I am not a doctor and will never give medical advice. I will support and answer questions from personal experience only.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Sarasota, Florida
    Posts
    260

    Talking

    Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
    36 year old single mom of teens ages 14 & 15.
    Anterior/posterior spinal fusion on February 9th & 16th 2006 with Dr. Anthony Moreno who now has his own practice.
    Fused from T-3 to S-1 (sacrum)
    Curve pre-op = 70 degrees
    Curve post op = 20 degrees
    No pain anymore!!
    Google is your friend

    I am not a doctor and will never give medical advice. I will support and answer questions from personal experience only.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    U.K.
    Posts
    137
    OK, I'm a brave girl, so here goes.

    I'm now 4 months and no 'wild stuff' has really gone on until just a few days ago (and that didn't involve swinging from a chandalier or jumping off the top of the wardrobe). It is still painful to do anything more than fairly 'ordinary' positions but we have progressed to more than one position. I can't remember the first time after surgery (8 weeks maybe) but I was just in so much pain I didn't want to get excited in case I hurt myself....in fact that has been true right up until now. Spoons was all we could do to start....we can now do things that involve being on hands and knees...

    There is a book which helps with all of this - Sex and Back Pain - info can be found on the links page of my blog: http://wwwlinkpages.blogspot.com/

    Have fun!!
    Double 63(T)/75(L) deg curve with big sideways shift - Surgery in UK on 8th February 2006.
    Post op 30(T)/33(L)
    http://warpedwoman.blogspot.com/

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    new jersey
    Posts
    850
    Kat---geez, I have low expectations... I just hope I get a cute p.t. guy. obviously you had bad luck in that regards.....if he wants to do handstands..fine!! (I don't thk I've ever laughed so hard....& I need it!)

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Sarasota, Florida
    Posts
    260

    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Pips
    OK, I'm a brave girl, so here goes.

    I'm now 4 months and no 'wild stuff' has really gone on until just a few days ago (and that didn't involve swinging from a chandalier or jumping off the top of the wardrobe). It is still painful to do anything more than fairly 'ordinary' positions but we have progressed to more than one position. I can't remember the first time after surgery (8 weeks maybe) but I was just in so much pain I didn't want to get excited in case I hurt myself....in fact that has been true right up until now. Spoons was all we could do to start....we can now do things that involve being on hands and knees...

    There is a book which helps with all of this - Sex and Back Pain - info can be found on the links page of my blog: http://wwwlinkpages.blogspot.com/

    Have fun!!
    Woot! Brave girl!!
    Thanks so much Pips!
    36 year old single mom of teens ages 14 & 15.
    Anterior/posterior spinal fusion on February 9th & 16th 2006 with Dr. Anthony Moreno who now has his own practice.
    Fused from T-3 to S-1 (sacrum)
    Curve pre-op = 70 degrees
    Curve post op = 20 degrees
    No pain anymore!!
    Google is your friend

    I am not a doctor and will never give medical advice. I will support and answer questions from personal experience only.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Grand Rapids, MI
    Posts
    313

    Thanks Pips

    Your post will give me something to read to my husband to help enlighten his expectations post-op. It reminds me how at work, he told me that the older fathers will tell the new expectant fathers that they will have to wait 4-6 weeks after childbirth for some action, and one of them turned pale and said "you're kidding me, right?".

    Is there anyone out there 6 to 12 or more months who can tell us if /when everything is fully functional in this area?

    Thanks,

    Deb

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Sarasota, Florida
    Posts
    260
    Quote Originally Posted by lelc2002@yahoo
    Kat---geez, I have low expectations... I just hope I get a cute p.t. guy. obviously you had bad luck in that regards.....if he wants to do handstands..fine!! (I don't thk I've ever laughed so hard....& I need it!)
    I had an old PT guy, this is true. But I surely wouldn't have minded my male nurse from ICU.
    He was hot. Too bad I was so doped up on morphine and I looked and probably smelled like death....lol
    36 year old single mom of teens ages 14 & 15.
    Anterior/posterior spinal fusion on February 9th & 16th 2006 with Dr. Anthony Moreno who now has his own practice.
    Fused from T-3 to S-1 (sacrum)
    Curve pre-op = 70 degrees
    Curve post op = 20 degrees
    No pain anymore!!
    Google is your friend

    I am not a doctor and will never give medical advice. I will support and answer questions from personal experience only.

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