So Iím going through the motions of researching surgeons and making appointments and trying to make some sort of game plan...

And I am experiencing some of the most debilitating, crushing anxiety and panic attacks Iíve ever had. And the crying jags! Oh my lord, itís a hot mess in my head right now. Trying to find a doc. Surgery. Pain. What the f*** am I gonna be able to do, and not do, with a fused spine.

I could on. Itís like and endless stream of consciousness of blind raging fear. With a dash of pissed off on top.

Thoughts? Comments? Anyone wanna slap some sense into me? Iím a disaster!