Good morning,

Yesterday was 6 weeks post op and I was feeling pretty great up until Monday morning. I think I overdid it this weekend by attending a charity event that had me out of the house for most of the evening. Now I have this horrible sciatica pain running down my lower back and butt that I can barely walk. I have a call into the doctor, but I'm not sure there will be much I can do. From reading on this forum from other people with the same issue, it looks like I just need to be patient (which is definitely not my forte). Has anyone here had luck with ice packs or any stretching exercises that I could try? I've read that soaking helps, but I only have a regular sized tub and I'm scared to try and even get in there for I will likely not be able to get out again.

I have been so diligent about walking everyday, even after a long day at work. Do I keep pushing through this sciatica pain and continue with the walks, or is it better to rest??

I just have to vent that some days I really, really hate this. I feel 20 years older than I am and I am near tears every time I drive past a runner on the road. My brother just completed his first Ironman on Sunday and though I am so very proud of him, it's just another reminder of things I will never ever do again. I try to be optimistic, but it can be hard not to think about how different my life is now and what the future looks like. I absolutely realize that there are many people much worse off than me, but it's still hard not to grieve. I think grief is an accurate word for what I am feeling right now. I feel a loss for the person I used to be physically, and such sadness sometimes. I try to focus on my work on family, but it's impossible to ignore this slow body that I am dragging around with me everywhere.

I apologize for being such a downer today... but I think these thoughts are a good representation of the ups and downs that we feel all the time. Do you ever just wake up and wish you could feel 'normal' again and think about anything but your back?

Thanks for listening.