November 9th!!

[osumike]

Well we just can't seem to get rid of this seroma. My surgeon drained over 1000cc last Monday, and then tightly wrapped me with gauze and 3 ace bandages for a week to see how it would go. Went in a couple days ago, Monday, and there's still at least another 1000cc according to him. Extremely frustrating of course.

This morning at 9 I get to go in for a procedure to get a drain put in. After searching online, I'm assuming it'll be a Jackson Pratt drain. Won't be a surgical procedure, but they said I'll be pretty heavily sedated. Man I hope this will be the end of it. I've been getting a pretty painful spot in my lower mid back, but I can only guess it has everything to do with all the fluid pressing on areas it shouldn't be.

I'll let ya know how it went.. At some point..

[osumike]

So I didn't get the Jackson Pratt drain. I can't remember the name of what they called it, but it was very generic sounding. Something like a common use drain or something, but we are using the Jackson Pratt drainage bulb. Pretty much keeps a constant suction going. Since I've been home, I've drained around 600cc, and I've noticed the color of fluid coming out has turned more clear, and less bloody. More of a watered down kool-aid color. Definitely feeling better already, having all that fluid out.

Just for reference, I'll add a couple pics.... Hopefully the bit of blood isn't too much for anyone to see.. If it is, please let me know and I'll remove it immediately..


Sort of good timing for this anyway, we've got windchills around -25 below right now.. NO reason to be outside now!

[osumike]

Hey guys.. Just want to get a few things off my chest, and see what happens. For the past few weeks I've been really struggling mentally here. Super emotional, which isn't normal for me. I thought I had a bad sinus infection, so the doc prescribed antibiotics, which didn't help. I have trouble speaking, my voice is hoarse, throat hurts and feels like there's a rock stuck in my throat. I think it's horrible anxiety and depression. Thinking about seeing a psychiatrist or something.

Went in to see my surgeon a few days ago. The pain has gone down, although I'm still taking oxycodone and morphine. One of the worst pain spots pre surgery though, is still there. My right ribs are still hitting my hip. Just sooo uncomfortable feeling. I let him know that I'm disappointed in this, and a bit angry as well. Sometimes regret doing it.
I do think I'm healing well otherwise. I'm able to move around pretty well. Actually I feel almost as flexible as I did prior. He said that's great, and that there's no sign of hardware failure. Lifted all restrictions. I told him there's no way I can live the rest of my life with my ribs and hip like this. He seemed a little uncomfortable at that point, and said that we can discuss more surgery after I heal more. Probably in a few months. If the decision is mine, I'm in for sure. It's disappointing, but encouraging knowing there's something that can be done.
I started to try cutting the med intake, and really overdid it. Tried cutting WAY too much at one time. My body went into the withdrawal symptoms, which was pretty awful. I'm back to taking them mostly as prescribed for now. I just want to get back to feeling normal mentally. I'm sure these meds are why my brain is so scattered right now. Another source of this anxiety is knowing that I don't have a job to go back to. That's pretty tough.

It's hard to keep a level head right now, and damn it's a struggle.

[KathyInIowa]

Hi, Mike. I'm really sorry you are struggling. You had a very rough surgery and with the seroma and all of that. Hang in there, it does get better.

My curves were a lot less than yours so I can't comment on your surgery itself, but I will say that I was the same way emotionally. I never got emotional over my pain or my "situation," but I swear I cried more (for no real reason) when on these medications than I had cried in the previous 5 years. Everything I read pointed to the drugs and the way they mess with our brains. I think once you are able to get off the drugs you will find that your emotions even out some.

The job situation definitely adds to the stress of everything. Hopefully you have a supportive family.

My post op pain was also in the same spot as my pre-surgical pain. It was mainly the muscles where my rib hump was, it wasn't bone pain. That lasted about 5 - 6 months for me. I am now 7 months post op and I can still get "tight" in that same spot, but it is not very often any more. You are 6'7", I am 5'3" and your curves were worse than mine and our ages are very different, so we are nothing the same! So, I'm not sure any of my input is helpful!

Kathy

[titaniumed]

It's hard to keep a level head right now, and damn it's a struggle.

It is Mike, but your going to get through it....

I never looked back, not even once. I was always looking forward knowing that it was going to work out. I knew this because of all the people before me. They made it, and so could I and wasn’t giving up, that’s for sure. Our commitment needs to be 100%. As far as commitment is concerned, there are some heavyweights on this forum, no doubt....

For anxiety, I would go walk outdoors. For depression, I would switch to comedy.... Many of my earlier posts involved comedy, I am guessing I was depressed and had some hilarious posts here. Many members fell off their chairs! Don’t make me post Beavis & Butthead, Linda will get mad at me! (smiley face)

The Yule log Christmas specials that Mike Judge did were classics! LOL Really dumb.....but so clever...

I qualified for federal disability and the hospital sent me all the paperwork. They would vouch for me if needed, they considered it a slam dunk. (No Lawyer, no fee) If you don’t own anything, its easy. If you do, it’s a pain in the butt and you have to set up a trust (Need a lawyer) as the Feds have rules.

There is always going to be another job.....and it doesn’t have to be what your used to, it can be something new and interesting. If you can get through heavy duty scoliosis surgery, you can do anything! I have a friend who started doing real estate photography, and he loves it. He is a big guy like you.

As far as pains go, your still extremely early. I thought I had an incisional hernia a few months post, saw my vascular surgeon and he told me that there was no way he was going back in so soon. These surgeons like to wait a year. It turned out that it wasn’t an incisional hernia, I lost my gall bladder after months of painful gall attacks. I was 15 months post for that procedure. My shoulder surgery was at 9 months. It was one day at a time, an exercise in patience.

I used hot water soaks to help with weaning.....I also terminated and went into withdrawal and gave in and then resumed my meds on a lower level. I terminated once again and made it after a horrible 48 hours hugging the toilet, freezing and sweating with no sleep. After that, I recovered quickly, jamming nutrients. Nutrients replaced the meds, nutrients heal and meds mask. A powerful healthy “growth mindset” that you can acquire with effort. This is important. Your failure is never due to a lack of talent or ability as in a “fixed mindset”. Think healing thoughts.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_Dweck

I also got mad around my surgeon, not at him, just mad......in ICU on heavy meds, and lectured about re-living major pain once again when my neck herniation’s took out my arm....I realized that he did all that he could do surgically, told me it was going to feel like I was hit by a train, and that he wasn’t at fault, he did the best he could. It was my decision, not his, he was only helping and I felt pretty bad. I also realized that every time I saw my surgeon, I was in MAJOR pain which makes it so difficult to relate on a normal level.....Its something I think about a lot since this guy saved my life. This appreciation comes later, years later since our recoveries can take a really long time.

I hope some of these tidbits help some....Healing happens.....

Hang in there

Ed