Getting Ready for Surgery

[nikyergen]

Theresa,
I guess I am thankful for the small rural school my kids go to. K-12 is about 150 kids. So, Crystal's class has about 16 students in it. Some classes are a little smaller some classes a little bigger. I went to school my first year of high school in a big city school. My graduate class would of been 1000 students. My folks moved and I went to a smaller school, which my graduating class was aroun 90 students. I understand the little crazy feeling. I've been that way since I pulled Crystal out of school. I just wanted her to stay healthy and that was the only way I knew it could happen.

I don't envy you having to deal with the in-laws during all of this. If it was me, I'd be putting them up in a motel if I had to. I don't even like my own parents staying at my house. They drive me nuts. They are in their 70's and I have noisy teenage girls, plus every boy in the neighborhood stops by to see if they can impress my girls. Thank God, we live way out in the country and the price of gas is going up. Maybe the boys won't be around so much.

I guess I can say what everyone has been telling me, now that I am starting to feel at ease with things. Things will be okay. The first two weeks are supposed to be the hardest. The big turning week is about week 3 1/2. But, not having been there yet I don't know. However, I am becoming more at ease with things as everyday goes on. The only reason I got out of bed is because I got cramps in both legs and needed to walk them out. Otherwise, I would be nighty night.

I certainly hope your daughter doesn't bring home anything and you catch it. My dad is recovered from lung cancer. 5 years cancer free and just got told that he doesn't have to come in every 6 months. He goes once a year now. But, he catches every little cold that goes around and mom rushes him right to the doctor, because they just escalate with him. So, understand the low immune system. Are you taking anything to help you ward of an infection? It might not be a bad idea to go to the health food store and see what they have. I am not a health food nut, I like my meat and potatoes, but I do use a lot of natural stuff for myself and Crystal. We seem to do better on them than pharmaceuticals.

Let us know how the dance went and if she had a good time. Crystal's prom is a month to the day after her surgery. She thinks she'll be up to going. I told her we would see how she is feeling and that her dad would have to take her and bring her home, if she goes. And only for a very short while. So we understand the dance thing.

'til later,
Nikki

[Mary Lou]

Theresa,

If I didn't know better, I'd say we both have the same mother-in-law! Maybe it's the water we drink in PA that turns them that way. OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SAY NO!!!! You are under more than enough stress right now and the day of surgery will only be more stressful, so tell your mother-in-law that she can't stay at your house. If you have to, take everyone out for a nice dinner the night before, get your in-laws a nice hotel room and make it clear that only you, your husand and your daughter will be going to the hospital in the morning. You might even want to allow her some time alone with your daughter if that will help your daughter. Right now and for the next several weeks, it is all about your daugher and no one else. Tell her you will call her once you are in the waiting room and she is welcome to wait with you. I don't think you can have too many people waiting with you. The last thing you'll need on the morning of surgery is someone upsetting your daughter more than she might already be that day. Some kids handle it very well, and others freak out.

As for you being a germ freak, now and after surgery is the best time for that. Remember to be a germ freak in the hospital. Feel free to remind hospital staff to wash their hands, clean the bathroom, whatever you feel needs to be done. I personally made it a point to wipe down the table where they always set her food tray, we got new cups and straws often and I washed my hands before touching Jamie and many, many times in between.

I wish you the best of luck. I'm sure you said it somewhere before, but when is the surgery?

Mary Lou

[nikyergen]

Theresa,
I thought about you in-law situation last night. I agree with Mary Lou. It would be worth putting them in a motel and have them arrive at the hospital after Nicole has gone into surgery. Then, they will be there for you and your husband while she is in surgery. My parents aren't even going to be at the hospital the day of surgery. They are taking our youngest daughter for the week and will come see Crystal the day after surgery. That way Michelle doesn't get bored out of her mind and impatient. It isn't that they don't want to be supportive, but Crystal will be so stressed that morning and out of it after surgery, mom said there was no need in adding to the stress. I think I have to agree with her.

My mother-in-law is going over with us. However, she is staying at her brothers house for the week. She will probably come in sometime the day of surgery to be there for us. She is a pretty strong lady for 80 years old and we draw a lot of strength from her. She is the one that is continually reminding us to put our faith in God. She's a great woman and I am glad I have her for a mother-in-law. She is a lot of fun and very healthy. I sure wish my father-in-law was still alive to be their for my husband, they were best friends. But, he will be there, I know he will.

Like I said last night. It is okay to be a freak about her getting sick. I got that way and am so glad I did. Mary Lou is right, insist on the cleanliness of the hospital staff too. Sometimes they just come and go and don't think about washing.

Well, I better get. Going to finish laundry and get packed while Craig and the kids are in town cleaning our masonic lodge and getting the last minute things I forgot yesterday.

Mary Lou, should I take extra towels. I am taking everything but the bathroom sink. Well, at least Crystal is doing that. I asked her if she had the bathroom sink packed and she said she didn't have room for it. I laughed and told her she better unpack everything and get that sink in there and then put everything else back in. She laughed about that one. I always tease her about taking the bathroom sink with her when she goes somewhere.

'til later,
Nikki

[Mary Lou]

Nikki,

I wouldn't take towels. I would only take my personal things. I used the hospital's towels for both myself and for Jamie. Here's a hint: find out where the line closet is located and get yourself a few days supply of towels and washcloths and keep them in your room. Also, grab two or three extra pillows-for behind Cyrstal's back and also for yourself. I grabbed my own sheets and blankets while in the linen closet. This suggestion might come to late since your family is already in town picking up last minute things, but I took cans of soda and snack items and took a few in the room and left the rest in the van. Our hospital had a great family room with milk, coffee, tea and snacks and even some breakfast items, like cereal and pop-tarts, but I didn't know that beforehand. I found it easier sometimes to just eat the snacks I brought rather than leaving the room. Sometimes, crackers turned out to be my lunch, so I was very grateful for them.

Have you covered everything for your younger daughter? I know Tracy felt much more relaxed about me staying with Jamie when I made up calendars for her. One was school activities for the week and the other was who was picking her up from the bus, who's house she would be at for supper, etc. It just made things less stressful for her. Be sure to let your parents bring her to the hospital. I called Tracy immediately after Jamie's surgery was done, but she needed to see her for herself to make sure she was okay. It was hard for her to see Jamie that way, but she still needed to see her.

Tell Crystal to get the bathroom sink out of her bag! She will have a sink in her room! I'm glad she is keeping her sense of humor.

Mary Lou

[nikyergen]

TO ALL:
Today is the day. It is 6am here. Up early so we can get everything done so try to be out of here by 4pm. The girls have a meeting at 2pm they have to go to. So, will leave immediately following.

I've slept all night for the last three nights, which is good. However, this morning my stomach is going 900 miles an hour. I guess I'll get some Pepto to get it setted.

Tomorrow Crystal is admitted to the hospital at 1pm with surgery at 7:30am on Tuesday morning. She is standing strong. I am so proud of her. Her bags are packed and she is ready to go. Mary Lou, she did take the bathroom sink out of her bag. She decided it would be too heavy.

My middle daughter is staying here. She is pleased with where she is staying and will have to come to the house everyday to feed the dogs and cats.

It was incredible how our friends came together yesterday to help us get things done at the ranch. They are also doing stuff for us today, so we just have to concentrate on getting ready to go. They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, it takes a community to get her through surgery. And, I consider all of you part of that community.

Anyhow, when we get to Craig's Uncle's tonight, I'll try to see if I can use their computer and let you know we got to Portland safe. It's a 5 hour drive, could be a long trip home when Crystal is released.

My thanks and love to you all. You have been the greatest friends in the world a person could have. I'll keep you posted on Crystal's surgery and recovery. All of you are in our prayers. I even remembered my bible.

God Bless You All,
Nikki

[lrmb]

all the best for Crystal

Good luck to Crystal, and courage for you, Nikki! We will be looking for your posts the other side, and thinking and praying for you in the meantime. Look after yourself as well as your daughter. ~Laura

[susannajon]

Hi Nikki,

It's funny how the day before, there's a sense of peace. You've done all the preparation, your daughter is feeling ready, and you know the surgery is necessary to offer you child a chance at a more normal life. I know other people have said this, but I'll repeat it. Take breaks, eat, sleep, take a walk. Keep visitors to a minimum at least the first three days, and kick them out after a few minutes. Be respectful and friendly to the nurses, and they will be kinder to you and your daughter. Do not tolerate, however, any mistreatment or disrespect from any caregiver, doctor, nurse, technician, etc. Keep a journal. Write down what's happening, when medication is administered, and who is caring for your daughter. It comes in handy to remember when the next dose is, and allows you to call your nurse by name. It's also helpful to look back, and see how much she has improved day by day.

I will be thinking of you and sending prayers your way.

[nicoles mom]

Nikki
Wishing The Best Of Luck To Crystal You And Your Family. Your Be In My Prayers. I'm Getting Jumpy Again And Need To Go Calm Down. I'll Miss You. Take Care Of Yourself And Your Baby. Keep Us Posted. Theresa

Nikki And Mary Lou
Thanks On The In-law Advise I Only Wish I Could Sent Them To A Hotel. I'm Going To Have To Go Over My Husbands Head And Tell Her Myself. I Really Don't Know What My Problem Is She Loves Me More Then Her Son. I Guest I Didn't Want To Hurt Her Feelings In Case She Didn't Understand. Xoxox

[jc3]

nikki
just wanted to say good luck and we'll all be here waiting for your posts after her surgery.
Jennifer

[nikyergen]

To all:
Got all the pre-op done. Crystal has started to develope a new curve since her appointment in October. She will fused from T2-L2. So, at this point surgery is a blessing. Dr. even said that he was fusing her a little farther because she started to develop a new curve, which is a little unusual for 16 years old.

Surgery in the morning at 7:30am. I'll let you know how she is tomorrow evening.

All our prayers to you all.

'til later,
Nikki

[nicoles mom]

Spoke To My Mother In Law Today And Shes Not Saying Here. She Will Meet Us At The Hospital. Boy A Ton Of Bricks Just Fell Off My Back. I Guess I Was Fighting With My Husband For Nothing. All I Had To Do Is Talk To Her About How I Felt. Shes A Great Mother-inlaw. Nikki Its Tue Night Thinking About You All Day. Hope All Is Well.
Theresa

[nikyergen]

To All:
Crystal is out of surgery and back in her room. She is doing great. She has been in a reasonable amount of pain, however, the staff here is right on top of it to keep her very comfortable. The doctor told us yesterday he was hoping for a 50% correction. He told me after surgery that he got more than 50% and was very pleased with it.

You should see her lie flat on the bed. Her shoulders are back and straight. She looks absolutely beautiful.

We'll see how tonight goes. I sent dad to the motel early to get some sleep, in case I need him to come in the middle of the night. Crystal has been resting quite well, which I am sure can change.

Theresa, I am so glad you talked to your mother-in-law. I underestimate my mother-in-law sometimes too. And, like you, ended up fighting with my husband for nothing. I guess we need to have faith that our mother-in-laws are woman too and will understand.

Well, I need to get back to Crystal.

My prayers and love are with each and every one of you as we go through these times.

I'll keep you all posted.

'til later,
Nikki

[ANIMAL LOVER12]

I'm so glad she's okay!!! I have been praying for her! I wil continue to pray for a speedy recovery!!!!!

[jc3]

hi nikki
thanks for posting about crystal. I've been thinking of you guys all day. Keep updating us and we're hoping for a smooth recovery.
Jennifer

[pat]

Hello Jennifer and all!

Jennifer, I haven't been on in a while (computer had some troubles!). But, all is well; Jamie had her 5 month check up yesterday, she's fusing beautifully. He told her she can basically do anything she wants. And we see him again in six months. The surgery seems so so long ago. All is well! Thanks for asking! Pat