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  • People Trying to "Straighten" You

    This is not a big deal, but it's been happening to me a lot lately. I've had scoliosis since I was a teenager. Never had surgery. I think it's gotten worse because my right shoulder blade protrudes more and more as I age. I'm 59. My dad had scoliosis, too, and when he died at 85 his back was really hunched over. Anyway, people that I know slightly or have just met feel the need to "straighten" me - they actually push my shoulders back and tell me to stand up straight. It is difficult to do that because it hurts when I try. People with scoliosis have bad posture because of their condition, from what I have observed. Yet I never tell these do-gooders to leave me alone because I have scoliosis. Has anyone else had this experience?

  • #2
    I'd be telling them, "I have scoliosis, and thinking you can straighten my spine by making me stand up straight, is like trying to hold back the tide - impossible."

    Being blunt is the only way to deal with what may be well-intentioned, but is still ignorance. Fortunately, I didn't ever have to deal with anything like that.
    Surgery March 3, 2009 at almost 58, now 63.
    Dr. Askin, Brisbane, Australia
    T4-Pelvis, Posterior only
    Osteotomies and Laminectomies
    Was 68 degrees, now 22 and pain free

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    • #3
      Nobody should be allowed to put hands on you without your permission. Period. Nobody can try to straighten you unless you allow them to try.
      Susan
      Adult Onset Degen Scoliosis @65, 25* T & 36* L w/ 11.2 cm coronal balance; T kyphosis 90*; Sev disc degen T & L stenosis

      2013: T3- S1 Fusion w/ ALIF L4-S1/XLIF L2-4, PSF T4-S1 2 surgeries
      2014: Hernia @ ALIF repaired; Emergency screw removal SCI T4,5 sec to PJK
      2015: Rev Broken Bil T & L rods and no fusion: 2 revision surgeries; hardware P. Acnes infection
      2016: Ant/Lat Lumbar diskectomy w/ 4 cages + BMP + harvested bone
      2018: Removal L4,5 screw
      2021: Removal T1 screw & rod

      Comment


      • #4
        Jennifer, that's a great answer to give to someone who thinks you can be straightened. Of course, part of it is my fault because I have never told these people that I have scoliosis and I don't think most people think scoliosis is a big deal. Friends and family who know I have scoliosis still insist that my poor posture is mostly my own fault. If only you had stood up straight when you were a teen, you wouldn't look like this now, etc. It infuriates me. Susan, you are so right - no one has the right to touch you. But it happens so fast that I don't know what to say or do. Like I said, it's a small problem, but I'm getting more sensitive about my condition as I get older. Scoliosis has probably been around since man started walking on two legs. It's amazing to me that there still isn't an easier way to correct it except for the invasive, horrible, painful surgery.

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        • #5
          And keep a small photo of your x-ray with you. Whip it out and say-- how are you going to straighten that up? It's impossible, so please keep your hands off of me and understand I know you are trying to help, but this is a medical condition that has nothing to do with my past or present posture.
          71 and plugging along... but having some problems
          2007 52° w/ severe lumbar stenosis & L2L3 lateral listhesis (side shift)
          5/4/07 posterior fusion T2-L4 w/ laminectomies and osteotomies @L2L3, L3L4
          Dr. Kim Hammerberg, Rush Univ. Medical Center in Chicago

          Corrected to 15°
          CMT (type 2) DX in 2014, progressing
          10/2018 x-rays - spondylolisthesis at L4/L5 - Dr. DeWald is monitoring

          Click to view my pics: pics of scoli x-rays digital x-rays, and pics of me

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          • #6
            Good advice from Susie - a pic of you x-ray would make it all clear.
            Surgery March 3, 2009 at almost 58, now 63.
            Dr. Askin, Brisbane, Australia
            T4-Pelvis, Posterior only
            Osteotomies and Laminectomies
            Was 68 degrees, now 22 and pain free

            Comment


            • #7
              Yes, Susie Bee, great idea about the x-ray!

              Comment


              • #8
                People didn't try to straighten me up, but occasionally someone, who just noticed I've had scoliosis, would give me a sympathetic look and ask: "Do you know that you have scoliosis?". I would give them an ice-cold look and ask in response: "What do you think?" and they would shut up.

                Carol, you can explain and show x-rays to these people, but remember - you don't owe anyone an explanation. If you feel like talking about it, that's one story, but if people just invade your privacy - that's a different matter.
                I am stronger than scoliosis, and won't let it rule my life!
                45 years old - diagnosed at age 7
                A/P surgery on March 5/7, 2013 - UCSF

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thanks, Irina.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Strange friends!
                    Never argue with an idiot. They always drag you down to their level, and then they beat you with experience. --Twain
                    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                    Surgery 2/10/93 A/P fusion T4-L3
                    Surgery 1/20/11 A/P fusion L2-sacrum w/pelvic fixation

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Sorry you have to deal with such ignorant, albeit perhaps well-meaning, comments. Maybe you should tell these folks that if they can cure scoliosis by having one 'stand up straight', you want in on the patent because you'll never have to work again! Perhaps they'll get the hint that it can't be fixed that way.
                      mariaf305@yahoo.com
                      Mom to David, age 17, braced June 2000 to March 2004
                      Vertebral Body Stapling 3/10/04 for 40 degree curve (currently mid 20's)

                      https://www.facebook.com/groups/ScoliosisTethering/

                      http://pediatricspinefoundation.org/

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by carolmr View Post
                        Jennifer, that's a great answer to give to someone who thinks you can be straightened. Of course, part of it is my fault because I have never told these people that I have scoliosis and I don't think most people think scoliosis is a big deal. Friends and family who know I have scoliosis still insist that my poor posture is mostly my own fault. If only you had stood up straight when you were a teen, you wouldn't look like this now, etc. It infuriates me. Susan, you are so right - no one has the right to touch you. But it happens so fast that I don't know what to say or do. Like I said, it's a small problem, but I'm getting more sensitive about my condition as I get older. Scoliosis has probably been around since man started walking on two legs. It's amazing to me that there still isn't an easier way to correct it except for the invasive, horrible, painful surgery.
                        Yes, a comment happens fast and sometimes all of us are caught off guard. Sometimes when there is an awkward situation that I am not sure how to respond to that has occurred over and over again, I practice how to respond. You may choose to educate them with X-rays and definitions OR say something like, "I feel uncomfortable sharing my personal information with you" or if it is a stranger, maybe just ignore them.

                        You do not owe anyone information: "I have never told these people that I have scoliosis".

                        You are right, ultimately, there is no definitive answer except surgery. Surgery is invasive and it is painful, although the drugs and muscle relaxants greatly mitigate all of that. Honestly, I do not remember pain out of control after surgery. Everyone is different, but I was well controlled. Horrible? That is an individual interpretation. For me, progressive pain was not going to improve without surgery and the fact that I could not do the things that I wanted to do made surgery, made surgery a choice that I wanted. Yes, wanted. Sure, my kyphosis looked ugly but aesthetics do not matter much, mostly wanting to be active and travel and do volunteer work. Nobody can tell you what is right for you. My only suggestion would be that if you ever do consider spinal surgery, have a surgeon who is an SRS adult surgeon probably in an major university hospital. Just my unsolicited 2cents of advice.

                        Susan
                        Adult Onset Degen Scoliosis @65, 25* T & 36* L w/ 11.2 cm coronal balance; T kyphosis 90*; Sev disc degen T & L stenosis

                        2013: T3- S1 Fusion w/ ALIF L4-S1/XLIF L2-4, PSF T4-S1 2 surgeries
                        2014: Hernia @ ALIF repaired; Emergency screw removal SCI T4,5 sec to PJK
                        2015: Rev Broken Bil T & L rods and no fusion: 2 revision surgeries; hardware P. Acnes infection
                        2016: Ant/Lat Lumbar diskectomy w/ 4 cages + BMP + harvested bone
                        2018: Removal L4,5 screw
                        2021: Removal T1 screw & rod

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by carolmr View Post
                          Jennifer, that's a great answer to give to someone who thinks you can be straightened. Of course, part of it is my fault because I have never told these people that I have scoliosis and I don't think most people think scoliosis is a big deal. Friends and family who know I have scoliosis still insist that my poor posture is mostly my own fault. If only you had stood up straight when you were a teen, you wouldn't look like this now, etc. It infuriates me. Susan, you are so right - no one has the right to touch you. But it happens so fast that I don't know what to say or do. Like I said, it's a small problem, but I'm getting more sensitive about my condition as I get older. Scoliosis has probably been around since man started walking on two legs. It's amazing to me that there still isn't an easier way to correct it except for the invasive, horrible, painful surgery.
                          Wow, I just found this. I have an aunt who just passed away the other day. She had a significant kyphosis. It was never diagnosed because she was told that she caused it by slouching. She was very tall and everyone said she slouched as a teen so she would be shorter than the boys. Then she got stuck that way. I feel bad that she lived her whole life not knowing that she actually had a medical condition of the spine. ='(
                          Be happy!
                          We don't know what tomorrow brings,
                          but we are alive today!

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