I'm feeling anxious...

[MJB]

My daughter will have her surgery on the 16th and my nerves are getting stronger and I am feeling anxiety about it. I know everything will be ok, I know she has an amazing surgeon and that this is something she needs to have done, but I am still so worried. How do you get through the 8 hour surgery without having a panic attack or something?

[Pooka1]

Marlowe,

Good questions.

I think the best thing is having your family or someone there. Eight hours is a long time which you probably won't want to spend entirely in the surgical waiting room unless the surgeon will be coming out with progress reports. You can try to bring something to read or do but you may end up just watching TV if there is one there or staring out the window. It is not possible to guess how the time will pass but it will pass and you will get through this.

Your daughter and you will be stars.

Good luck.

[ddb]

MJB I'm not sure how to explain it and everyone is different, but you just do. Having great surgeons that we totally trusted helped alot.

I will say that the anxiety didn't seem to be address much - guess that's to be expected, but it did impact my oldest DD and we had to cancel her surgery 2 weeks prior. She had a panic attacks and is still recovering from them.

My nerves got very bad a few weeks before. Peace did come, and faith took over. My youngest DD had her surgery which would give her a better life - one without pain. She is over a year post op and cleared for all activities

Please take care of yourself and best wishes to your DD for a successful surgery!

Dee

[MJB]

Thank you so much ladies! I don't plan on staying in the waiting room because only me and my hubby are allowed to, our families can't wait in the surgery waiting area. My family will be there, so I will sit in the cafeteria and anything else I can do during that time. I don't believe the surgeon will come out with updates. He said the surgery could be from 8-12 hours, I am guessing 8 hours is probably what's more common though.

We will have a hotel right across from the hospital, although I don't think I would be able to leave the hospital, I wouldn't feel right...

[Pooka1]

Eight to twelve hours sounds like a long time.

Both my kids were about 5 hours. And the surgeon never came out in the middle or sent word on the first kid at least. I wasn't at the hospital for some of the waiting around on the second kid but my husband was.

[MJB]

I thought 8-12 hours sounded long too but they said it will be at least 8 hours... Not looking forward to it!

[Snoopy]

Like someone else said, my nerves got the best of me too, but my faith kicked in as well. No matter what your religious beliefs, have faith in yourself. Trust that you made the right decisions--the picked the best surgeon for your daughter and this surgery is what is best for your daughter.

How do you get through the waiting? I'm not sure, but you just do whatever it is that you have to do. My daughter was in the OR for 10 hours.....we were the first ones in the waiting room and the last ones to leave. I only left the waiting room when I absolutely had to do so. Our doctor was wonderful. He had a nurse call me at least hourly to update me on what was going on and the hospital's policy was to have a nurse update everyone who was waiting every two hours. It helped a lot.

You will get through this.

Mary Lou

[Elisa]

Hi Marlowe, I can't really give much in the way of advice of what to do about the anxiety b/c in my case, we waited so damn long for Elias to even be looked at by a spine specialist that when we finally got the surgery (2 actually) dates I was so RELIEVED that anxiety was not a factor. I did bring along my Ativan (anti-anxiety meds) just in case I felt I needed to take some but I didn't have to. You could always ask your doctor for some sort of anti-anxiety prescription, not a whole whack, maybe just 10 or so. Just a suggestion.

8-12 hours for surgery does seem awfully long. What exactly is she scheduled to have done, could it be that she is having both anterior/posterior surgery by chance?

[MJB]

Thank you so much for all of the responses! I am definately going to ask for some Anti-Anxiety meds...

[JenniferG]

I think it must be harder for the parents waiting for their children having surgery than having it themselves. In fact, I'm sure it must be. Stay strong, know that the surgeon will be doing a great job for your daughter, have faith in him and in your daughter, who's fit and strong and young. You will get through this and the chances are excellent that this will be the best thing she ever does.

[Snoopy]

I think it must be harder for the parents waiting for their children having surgery than having it themselves. In fact, I'm sure it must be...

I've been through some very difficult times in my life....lost both my parents last year, lost a brother when I was a teenager....but dealing with my daughter's Scoliosis journey has been way more difficult. I had guilt as to why I didn't notice her Scoli, I worried that I made the right decision for her to have surgery (I knew I did, but it's a mom thing, we always worry), I wished I could change places with her the day of surgery and then the waiting. Yeah, it's hard, but I also knew that she was in good hands with her surgeon and somehow we moms get through it. It's hard to explain, but the other moms understand, I'm sure.

I know it's a bit early, but.......Happy Mother's Day!

Mary Lou

[Pooka1]

With both my daughters, we had no choice. That helped a lot. The rest of getting through was just confidence in the surgeon.

That is not to say I wasn't worried and concerned. I was. But after seeing the quick recovery and amazing results on the first kid, I was considerably less concerned with the second. These guys are simply amazing.

[MJB]

Thanks ladies! It helps to hear other people's experiences!

[ARodsMom]

I agree, faith has to take over. I don't know how I would have made it through that experience without my faith. Our Pastor also stopped by and prayed with us in the waiting room. I took magazines, I kept a journal (which was suggested by many here) and wrote down every update we got. As a mom you really do just somehow get through it. She'll be fine, and she'll bounce back faster than you can imagine. My 12 yo son's surgery was long as well, his face was very swollen right after surgery since he was face down for so long. He is about 3 1/2 months post op and I have to remind him that he has limits.

I will definitely keep checking the blog, I love when I can see the faces of these strong kiddos.

[Lilysaidwhat]

Marlowe, best of luck for your daughter and your family.

Check to see if there is a Ronald McDonald Family Room in your hospital (Google for Ronald McDonald house) - if there is one, I would spend some time in there. They have free snacks, coffee, computers for use, etc. Also I would suggest you ask a couple of friends to stop by and meet you for a cup of coffee in the cafeteria or something at the hospital. My husband waited nearly 7 hrs for me to have surgery and passed a fair amount of time in the cafeteria visiting with friends. He said it helped a lot to do that.

I also second the anti-anxiety meds. Can't hurt.