Kara,
I feel for you and where you are right now. I cried every day and still do some days.
My daughter is just a few months into her treatment with the Boston Brace. You can see the details on the "sweet 8 yr old link" under Juvenile.
I just yesterday posted the question about how much to tell my daughter and when and received many helpful insights from other parents and how they handled this difficult topic with their children. I'm still processing it all. Right now we are at the same place, I told her the same thing as you did, we'll see what her doctor says at the next visit. It was all I could possibly get out, then I went and cried to my husband.
I completely understand the feeling, as a mom, not to have your daughter be "the girl with the brace." We have not found that to be the case for her. We did address her class before she started to wear the brace to school, showed them her x rays and answered their questions. My daughter made it clear that she wanted me to mention that she wanted to be treated "just the same" and she has been.
I have often overheard other children saying to her when the give her a hug etc, "oh, I forgot you were wearing your brace. I can't even tell." Of course, I'm sure that she doesn't forget but the point being that it is not on the top of other's minds.
I have found this forum to be very supportive and insightful and I am sure you will too.
Feel free to contact me any time if I can be of help and hang in there. I think day by day survival and being there for your daughter is where you need to be right now.
Resilience
treated w Milwaukee Brace FT for 3 yrs
currently 46 with 35 LL and 40 RT curves
8 yr old diagnosed w Scoli 8/10 with 27 LL and 27 RT
11/10 TLSO Full Time
4/11 22 LL and 24 RT on waiting list for VBS at Shriners Phila
12/11 curves still in the 20s but now has some rib cage changes from the brace
VBS 4/25/12 with Dr. Samdani. Pre Op: 29 RT and 25 LL Post Op: 17 RT and 9 LL
10/13: 15 RT and 10 LL