Its getting close.

[gabs mum]

Hi all.
Let me introduce myself properly. I am a mother of a 14 year old with adolescent idiopathic scoliosis. She was diagnosed in Feb. She discovered it on her 14th birthday. Unbelievable. We had two opinions from specialists in Brisbane, Australia. Both are good doctors but we decided to continue with Dr. Askin.
She has two curves. Top 58 and bottom 54. He wants to fuse from T4 to L4. Surgery is scheduled for December. Next week we go for another xray and checkup. I have a feeling that the curves will have increased and he will put the op. forward. But that is o.k. with me because i just want her to be straight again, and get on with her life. Let the world be her oyster..i say.
I have been agonising over this since Feb. and researched on this forum since about March. What a wonderful site it has been in helping me deal with this. Thankyou to all who contribute and thankyou to the friends i have made.
It has been a sad year. I lost my sister to bowel cancer a month ago.
My son almost killed himself a week after that with an accident on his bike and tearing his femoral artery(just). And now Gabby is booked in on Thursday to have her 4 wisdom teeth removed. Apparently the dentist said he doesnt want to wait until next year, as the roots will have grown too much. She has missed so much school.
This is so long and i apologise but it feels so good to get all of this off my chest. Some days i just want to find a hole and crawl into it.
But i get strength from all of you. Knowing that you all have soldiered on for your children enables me to do so myself. "If they can....then so can I"
Anyway, i will not go on. I will keep you all informed and updated and i look. forward to your posts.
Love
Donna.....Gab's Mum

[hdugger]

Oh Donna, what a terrible year.

I don't know enough about the surgery to help, we're still in waiting and watching mode, but these young kids do seem to come through just fine.

[laurieg6]

Hi Donna,

I'm so sorry about the loss of your sister. I hope your son is okay now! It sounds like you have a lot of potentially overwhelming issues to deal with and I hope you are somehow finding some time for self-care. People on this forum can be very supportive so keep on posting your thoughts and feelings about your daughter's surgery and anything else.

I wish you all the best.

[kalong]

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and the other things you have been going through. We found out in July of 2008 that our then 11 year old daughter had scoliosis at her yearly physical. We were referred right away to an orthopedic doctor. At that time her thoracic curve was 42.6. Because of her age, growth, etc., it was decided for now to brace her to try to hold the curve from progressing. She wore a brace this whole past year. In June she was x-rayed out of her brace and she was 29/48/39; it was then suggested it would be best to have surgery to correct her spine. We knew it was coming and it was very hard. It has been an emotional roller coaster! Chloe had her surgery August 20th in Rochester, MN at Mayo Clinic. She did great! At her pre-op appointment x-ray she was at 50 just since June. The doctor was very happy with the correction he was able to achieve, which was greater than 50 percent. Her curve now is at 20. She gained height Chloe did great through the surgery and is now recovering nice. She is anxious to get in school with the rest of her friends. It is a scary surgery to go through, but all in all your daughter will be so much happier I believe when its all over! If you have any questions please let me know, I'd be glad to answer I will keep you all in my prayers and just know she will be fine!

[gabs mum]

Thankyou all of you.
It does feel so good to talk. Nobody apart from you all understand. My family(brothers and sisters, Mum and Dad) assures me that everything will be fine and then i think....well that's o.k. for you to say that because you are not in my position. I love them dearly but you really feel separated from them because they cannot comprehend the heartache you feel and disppointment in yourself as a mother and protector.
I know that i should not be feeling like that but it is just a natural part of motherhood (and fatherhood, my husband feels the same) i think.
i have a strong faith background but it surely has been tested.
I hide all of these emotions from Gabby. I assure her she will be fine and it is just simply a hiccup in life. But why can't i accept that myself.
I guess i am having a bad day today. I feel sadder than usual.
Thankyou for letting me offload all of my feelings on to you all. I know that they do not fall on deaf ears.
Love Donna.

[kalong]

Donna,

Trust me, I do feel your pain! My mind was consumed with "why"? But, you have to remember that this is not your fault or your daughter's fault, it is just one of those things that happens and who knows why. The surgery is a big one, but she truly will be fine and so will you and your husband Chloe's surgery was T3 to T12. About the only advice I have for you is to pray, ask your family and friends to pray and truly it does help. Chloe was just telling me today that really the pain wasn't bad at all, that totally amazes me! I know its because there was alot of people praying for her.

Your daughter will do great, most kids do Before long it will all be behind you! Take care!

Kim

[JenniferG]

Hi Donna,

So sorry to hear you're having a bad day. It seems to have been one thing after another for you lately.

Looking at it from another angle...remember Dr. Askin is such a great surgeon. Gabby couldn't be in better hands and though this is slow in coming, once her surgery is over, I am sure Gabby will recover in leaps and bounds.

Nobody can say, "Don't worry." Being a Mum of a scoli surgery patient must be hugely difficult.

Hope tomorrow is much better!

Jen

[Pooka1]

Hang in there.

It's a long road sometimes. The worrying and fretting is physically taxing. It's impossible not to let it get you down, especially when you have other things on your plate as you do.

With my kids it's a whirlwind of various appointments for various things. At first it shocked me. Then I accepted that this is the way it is for us. It could be worse. It can always be worse. At least the surgeons can stabilize the scoliosis. Tackle what's down the road when you get there. I focus on the no-choice aspect of the surgery with my daughters... their curves moved like a freight train.

Life is not fair. Bad things happen to baby kids. The best I can do is press ahead sometimes. It's in the way you handle things. Doing your best becomes the bottom line sometimes as opposed to getting a perfect result when the latter isn't possible.

Life is short. My life is at least half over. I try to live in the moment.

Good luck.

[laurieg6]

Donna,

I believe I know exactly how you feel. I am resisting going in to all my own issues because I want to tell you that it sounds like you have had several major crises/losses happen recently in your life. You are probably still feeling deep grief over the loss of your sister. You need time to deal with all those feelings and life without her. Even if your son's now okay, it was still probably traumatic in some ways to realize what almost did, and could have, happened to him.

The scoliosis sounds like a very new diagnosis for you to have found out about and it can take a while to learn about it and realize what it's all about. But I'm sure your daughter will be fine in the long run. Most kids recover from their surgeries pretty quickly and move on to their regular lives really quickly. So try not to panic too much. You are not alone and we are all here for you whenever you need a supportive place to be. Soon enough your life really will calm down.

[gabs mum]

You are my "Posse of Angels"

I wish i would have posted a long time ago. What a great sense of support i feel reading your posts. If feels so real and I know if comes from those that understand. For most part of my life it has been me giving other people support, advice and encouragement. So I find myself on the other side and it truly feels wonderful. Thankyou so much to you all, from the bottom of my heart. I really needed to hear what you all have said and it has made a difference in how i feel today.
Today Gabby has her wisdom teeth out. Let's just line them up and knock them down I say( these road blocks in life that is). I definately feel a lot stronger today, Thankyou.
Next Thursday we have our appointment with Dr. Askin in Brisbane and an updated xray to see if anything has changed.
So you will all here from me soon.
Blessings to you all.
Love Donna.

[Pooka1]

Let's just line them up and knock them down I say( these road blocks in life that is).

I LOVE that!

Sums up nicely what I aim for with these kid health issues.

[WNCmom]

Donna--

Just want to chime in here. My now 14 yo son was fused T2-L4 nine months ago. The time since the surgery has gone much faster than when we were waiting for it; it's hard to believe we will be going for the year follow-up in November. You are in the hardest part now, and everything that has happened in the past year has made it so much harder. Your daughter will be in the hands of a very good surgeon and I'm sure she will do fine. Your attitude is great--one foot in front of the other and keep on plugging. Just know we're here to answer any questions we can and give you support. We know how much it means.

Hope the wisdom teeth came out smoothly--and keep us posted on the surgery date.

Best to you,

Mary Ellen

[gabs mum]

Wisdom teeth are out!!!

All went well. She is feeling very sore and was sick as well.
She is constipated too. Would that be from the codeine or from the anesthetic? Not sure? But I gave her a laxative that contains senna which i read was supposed to be natural and works well.
She told me that the first couple of nurses she came across before theatre had her a little worried with their quirky humour. She thought she may be on the set of "Scrubs" there for a moment.
I think this (having her teeth out) may have been a good thing to do this close to her scoliosis surgery as it gave her a tiny little glimpse of what it is like in hospital. It was not at all what she had thought and now I think alot of her fears about hospital are gone.

Will post late next week after we visit Dr. Askin.
Donna xo

[Pooka1]

Very good news!

One day at a time.

[laurieg6]

I'm so glad it went well! That's one less thing to worry about.

Hang in there. She will do great with the fusion surgery too.