View Full Version : Can't sleep Nervous Surgery 3 Weeks

08-16-2006, 02:20 AM
Hi everyone
I have 3 weeks before surgery. I am doubting everything. I am beginning to get the crying jags and I am one who never cries. I am wondering if I am being a big baby about the pain I am in. I can't sleep at night. It is going to be a long and short 3 weeks.
I am worried about my son if something bad were to happen during surgery. He is only 11. I am sitting here bawling and feeling stupid. This forum has been so helpful to me.
Thanks for listening

08-16-2006, 08:28 AM
Hi Dawn,

I'm a big baby too and I don't blame you a bit. I know Lynne started drinking stiff cocktails at night the last week or so before her surgery....lol

I have heard people say their doctors gave them a mild anti-anxiety drug the few weeks before, just to coast til surgery....

It's good to remember that judging by this forum, people seem to make it through this surgery just fine.

Hang in there,

08-16-2006, 09:25 AM
im having my surgery in just over 3 weeks as well (9th sept). i fink its natural to be a bit nervous bt just remember scoliosis surgery is very common so the doctors are really experienced. Its really uncommon 4 something to go wrong, so im sure ul b fine!
Also if you have a lot of pain, u wont get that anymore. Find something to look 4ward to, for example im rely excited bout havin normal hips and not such a big rib hump. weneva i feel nervous i jus fink bout these.
i hope this helps!

08-16-2006, 09:31 AM
im nervous to and my surgery is not for 6 months! or unless a sooner date opens up so i guess im crazy for being scared already, but im sure you will be fine during surgery, you do really have to think positive or the fears will tear you up.it also helps to talk to other people on this site. trudy,

08-16-2006, 09:49 AM
Hi Dawney,

Here I am 3 weeks post-op and I still remember the fear and anxiety before. I did not sleep well for a couple weeks before, either. Looking back, I would say call your surgeon's office and tell them about your anxiety and sleeping problems and ask for something to take to get you through the next few weeks.

I wish that I had done this before my surgery. I had to quit taking all of my regular medicines 5 days before surgery, and ended up having a bad anxiety attack just before leaving for the hospital. If I had asked, they could have given me something safe to take right up to surgery instead of suffering like I did.

Hang in there, Dawney. I remember I was also scared before that my 15 year old daughter might not have me around for the rest of her growing up years. Even my husband said that he was scared about me being more messed up afterwards than I was before.

If your son sees you crying or upset, just explain to him that you are a little scared and nervous about the upcoming surgery and that it is normal for people to have these feelings. You know that you need the surgery and that you will be fine, but it is still scary.


08-16-2006, 10:23 AM
It's perfectly normal to be nervous...this is a big decision you've made and a major surgery and there are many things (good and bad) that you can think about. You have to know in your heart that you've made the right decision and that everything will turn out just fine. My hospital offered relaxation classes to all of it's surgical patients. Does your hospital offer anything like that? The class really helped teach me some techniques that you can do a few times a day to help relax your body and mind as well as some positive thinking techniques.

One really simple technique was breathing in slowly through your nose to fill your lungs and then breathing out slowly through your mouth. Do this anywhere from 3 to as many times as needed until you feel relaxed. The instructor says she does this whenever she's feeling a bit anxious, whether it be in a long line at the grocery store, in traffic, at work or at home.

I bought a few cd's with sounds of rain and waves and every night I would lay down in my bed and listen to the cd's and do the breathing technique. It never failed, I fell asleep everytime. Whenever thoughts of the surgery started to get to me, I would do the breathing techique and or the cd's. It really did help to relax me. The techniques helped after surgery too.

Good luck!

08-16-2006, 10:01 PM
Hi Dawn,

I am scheduled for surgery on Oct. 9th. I wake up every morning and wonder if I am doing the right thing. You are not alone! I also have two children ages 3 and 6, and my biggest fear of course is them growing up without mommy. For me, the burden is that this decision is a choice. If it were life threatening it would be a no brainer. But, when I feel this way I sit down and look at my pros and cons list. I'll bet you have similar lists.

1. My curve is 60*, progressing and will most likely continue to do so.
2. I am 35 and not getting younger! My chance for a better outcome and recovery are NOW, not at 55.
3. I have family ready to help me post-op.

My biggie... What will my quality of life be like in 5,10 or 20 years if I do nothing??? This is the hard one because "yes" my life is good right now. I do have daily pain, but nothing dibilitating. And people may ask "how could you put yourself through this when you seem perfectly healthy?" But, when you're the one with the curve that just won't stop and you imagine yourself in the future in constant pain, humped over and too late for correction, I end up with the same answer... YES, I want a chance to be healthy for the long haul. And even though surgery scares the crap out of me, my future health just might depend on it.

Good Luck,

08-16-2006, 10:37 PM
Hi Dawny,

Everything will be okay. It seems as though everyone is happy with their decision to have the surgery. Remember, if all of these young teens can get through it, you can too. You will come out of it fine. Nothing bad is going to happen to you.

I live in Bucks County, too. I am not familiar with the Rothman Institute.


08-17-2006, 12:47 AM
The Rothman Institute is located in Philadelphia. They are well known for many areas in orthopedics. They have there own spinal department. I will be having my surgery at The Jefferson.
My pain is becoming debilitating. I still fight through it try to do the things I want to do. The pain is starting to win. I had a birthday party for my son on Saturday, pretty much an all dayer, my family doesn't like to leave. It put me down all day Sunday. I literally slept or layed down most of the day and it wasn't the type of party that should have caused this, haha
I know I am making the right decision but when they ad the word elective to the surgery it makes you feel that you don't really need it.
Thanks for all the good wishes

08-17-2006, 01:41 AM
Hi Dawney. I can stll remember how scarey it can be to be coming to the due date of the surgery, even after all these years.

Please dont doubt yourself, you are so doing the right thing. Just think how much better things will be for you when it is all over. You are not being a big baby about the pain you are in.

You are a strong woman, with a wonderful future ahead of you that you will be able to share with your beautiful family.
I will be praying for you,and sending you what I call scolio light and lots of it, I have marked it on my diary to make sure I remember the approximate date..


08-17-2006, 01:32 PM
Maybe it's just me, but I think it's crazy how we feel bad about being in pain. :eek: I felt the same way. My advice for you is to give yourself permission to feel and let it all out. This is a natural part of the process. Pain is pain. It sucks, and it never feels good and no one should have to live that way. Are you on any pain meds? If not, I would consider asking for a prescription so that these last few weeks before surgery can be somewhat easier to bear. Like Chris (Singer) pointed out, we get through it. You will too. Just know that you are among friends who care and will support you every step of the way.

Take Care,

08-17-2006, 09:51 PM

I saw your blog. I am 48 years old and am just going through the consultation process for surgery.

I read David Wolperg's (spelling?) book on scoliosis and he said the day before surgery to do something nice for yourself. Maybe you could go to a movie or a day spa and start to think about this great treat for yourself, that way you will have something to look forward to! You deserve it.


08-18-2006, 09:48 AM
I'm nervous too! Every now and then I let out a mental "EEEEEEEK!" I've been lurking on this forum for quite a while and am scheduled for surgery for 9/18. I'm planning to write letters for my husband and son the night before (just in case). I have found the various threads to be invaluable in giving me realistic ideas of what to expect before and after surgery and especially appreciated the posts by bbest, as we share the same surgeon. I am in awe of how suppportive everyone here is. I am so glad to have an outlet like this with informed participants because I am becoming reluctant to tell coworkers or friends much about the surgery. If I even just give the barest details I feel like I'm coming across as bragging or trying to elicit "wows." I don't want to impress or one-up anyone, I just wish they understood it's not your everyday orthopedic surgery and that yes, I'm shaking on the inside, calm on the outside. I'm trying to remember that pretty soon my focus will change pretty abruptly from dread mixed with anticipation of the eventual results, to the everyday challenges of healing. And then I do plan on some one-upmanship with scar display!

08-18-2006, 01:27 PM

I am also having surgery really soon in 4 weeks to be exact. I feel very worried as well and it seems like there is so much to think about and to do before having this surgery. On the other hand, whenever I feel down or worried I just go on this forum and start reading posts. This forum is my medicine. I feel better knowing that I am not the only one and that others are just as worried as me. I hope we can get through this and look at it posistively since we already made the decision to have this surgery.

Steffetc: I see that you are having both surgeries anterior and posterior. I am interested to know why. Also, as you probably had noticed already I am scheduled for surgery a day after yours. We will be in the hospital at the same time and on a road to recovery together. Hope to keep in touch with you and we will be OK!


08-18-2006, 02:46 PM
...Steffetc: I see that you are having both surgeries anterior and posterior. I am interested to know why. Also, as you probably had noticed already I am scheduled for surgery a day after yours. We will be in the hospital at the same time and on a road to recovery together. Hope to keep in touch with you and we will be OK!

Hi Mariya,
I didn't ask my surgeon specifically why I'm to have anterior plus posterior. I suspect it has to do with my age (53), the fact that my curves have progressed at a much quicker rate in the past four years than previously, and his preferred method. I look forward to comparing notes after our surgeries, only one day apart. My first blood donation is 8/22 and that's when it (the coming surgery) will really start feeling real, and I mean REALLY real ;), to me.

08-18-2006, 09:48 PM
dawney--I cried here & there but mostly at the end of day at sunset.....by the last week I seemed to be fairly calm as my husband said. I was up very early every morning & kept busy cleaning the house & getting my room ready......plus enjoy your showers every day...I did'nt have one until 12 days after operations----felt like an old cow.........but like a princess after that 1st shower----Lynne, email if you need me, I'm home now........stay strong and know the reasons you are doing this, for you & family.....you are stronger than you know..... :cool:

08-27-2006, 01:35 AM
Hi Dawn,

As usual, you have been given great advice. None of us can take your pain or fear away. But the one greatest thing here is, knowing you're not alone!!! And you're not!!! For months before my surgery, if I wasn't keeping myself busy with work or something else, I would burst out in tears without warning to myself it seemed.

I think when you combine all the different emotions that your are feeling, the thousands of different things that are running through your mind and then add pain too that, anything you do, feel or say is normal!!!

If anyone of us could make you feel better, we would jump at the chance.
Do what ever you want and feel howerver you want WITHOUT GUILT!!!


P.S. Lynne, it's good to see you back so soon!!!