View Full Version : How long should husband expect to stay at home

07-29-2006, 08:45 PM
My surgery is out of town. It will be at least 2 weeks before I am home. How long after that should my husband plan to stay with me to help. He is willing to do whatever.....but we are curious how long before it is ok for me to be alone all day to fix myself something to eat, get the dogs out, etc.

07-29-2006, 09:19 PM
Hi Marcia...

I've known quite a few people who have gone home with only occasional visits from helpers. I think it really depends on the person. In general, I would say that it would be nice to have someone with you for the first week. If you have anyone (children or pets) to take care of at home, you'll need a lot more than a week.

I doubt you'll want to do much in the way of cooking for the first 3-4 weeks that you're home. So, you might want to cook and freeze as much as possible. Also, if friends/family ask how they can help, ask them to cook a meal for you.
You probably won't be very hungry for awhile, so tell them to keep it simple.


07-29-2006, 09:21 PM
When I had my surgery I was in the hospital 8 days. When I came home my husband stayed home a couple of days. We talked to my Dr. about that before surgery and he said he would not have to stay home with me. The Dr. said I would be able to heat things up or fix a sandwich for myself. He wanted me to do a lot of walking which I do. My husband fixed me stuff to eat but it was a long time before I had a appetite. My husband did all the house cleaning and took care of my incisions. He was great through it all. But I did not have to have him home I did just fine. You might discuss that with your Dr. and see what he says. that is just my experience. everyone is different. Mattie

07-30-2006, 03:29 PM
I think so long as you get help, you don't have to have someone there all day all the time after maybe the first few weeks to a month b/c it is important to get used to doing certain things on your own, and you will need the rest and nourishment to get some energy back. My mom cooked a lot of good, nutritious food for me, she likes to do that, and some people are better at doing certain things. I was starving all the time, and my body really needed it.

07-30-2006, 08:42 PM
My husband unfortunately used up his vaca time during my unexpected 10 day hospital stay. I came home on a Thursday, he stayed home that Friday, but had to be back to work the next Monday. For the next 2 weeks, his parents, a family friend and my parents helped out by staying all day or visiting throughout the day. By the end of the two weeks, I was very much ready to be on my own.

My husband rearranged the refrigerator so that the items I needed were on the top shelf and put any items I might need from the cupboards on the counytertop for easy access. A great help were little rubbermaid containers...we used them for milk and juice since I could not lift the large containers. My husband would fill the smaller containers at night so they would be ready for me to use the next day.

Good luck!

07-30-2006, 09:40 PM
Great idea Heidi. I will definitely use that one. My boyfriend is taking off the week after I come home. My Mom is coming up the following week to stay and my stepdaughter said she will be on call for me the next week. I am hoping that will be enough. I have an 11 year old son who will be in for a reality check, he is a little spoiled. I will probably need the most help with my new baby, my 9 month old Rott puppy, who is 95 pounds.

07-30-2006, 10:10 PM

I was in the hospital for two weeks. My husband or my daughter stayed the entire time with me. They had me pretty doped up so I only remember the last couple of days. Apparently with having an ilius on top of everything else I was in alot of pain. My husband stayed home with me for the first two weeks when I got home. Much of the first week home is a blur. The second week I started doing things on my own with his watchful eye.

07-31-2006, 09:38 AM
My husband was off the week I was in the hospital. We arranged for my mother to stay with us the week I came home so that my husband could go back to work. As it turned out, I didn't need her to stay with me. She came over a few days a week and helped out with cooking, cleaning and stuff mom's do. My husband would take over after he returned from work. My kids are 16, 14, and 12 so they were able to help a lot. The first few weeks out, you won't feel like doing much of anything. I mostly stayed in bed or in my recliner and received guests. I watched a lot of t.v. I didn't do any cooking until around 6 weeks and even then, it wasn't anything big. If you can, as someone else suggested, freeze some meals ahead of time. I didn't, and our lives would have been much easier if I had.

07-31-2006, 07:34 PM
Thanks for all the responses. You are all so helpful.

07-31-2006, 07:40 PM
My managers hired a woman to cook two meals per week for 4 weeks. She would drop them off on Monday and the meals were so big, they actually lasted us the entire week. She is a housewife who does this in her sparetime and she contacted us before my surgery to see what types of meals we like. If you can find someone in your area that does this inexpensively, it's well worth it. My hubby was so busy with work and all of the housework, that not having to think about meals everyday was a great help.

07-31-2006, 07:57 PM
Heidi--don't ever quit your job! Your boss's sound like a dream come true!

My husband and I were in Boston for more than a month. When we came home, he went back to work & my mom stayed with me all day every day (I think more for her than for me, because I was ready for some time to myself). I like the idea of having someone bring food when they ask what they can do. However, even though I feel like eating light, my husband and daughter didn't! Good luck with your surgery. By the way, if your pets are big and bulky, or hyper, get someone to let them out for you. You don't want to be "pushed". Linda