and I was just so blind I couldn't see it. Wow I feel dumb. I'm so glad that you all helped to pull the woll off of my eyes.
I was talking to my mom today and I admit I was getting down on myself crying about health issues and worrying about my future etc. And you know, I have NOT been happy since I was in college. My mom sat me down and talked to me. I was upset saying I was dealt an unfair hand in life and that I was angry anry angry at God and at everyone else. And we talked and I sort of realized...I'm not perfect, but I only get 1 life. I'm never going to be 26 again. If the doctor said my spine is NOT curved enough to be noticed and everyone else says it is not really noticeable, then why am I wasting precdious time crying and worrying and being angry about it? I didn't even realize that I was focusing so much on myself but I guess I really was. She kept giving me examples of challenges others faced and I have to admit I was saying that they were nothing compared to what I faced. then she said I would never be happy if I did not accept myself for who I am and not keep trying to change everything about myself...just learn to go with the flow. And everyone has has told me that before but it never hit home.
Then my mom told me the clincher. She made me promise I would never tell anyone. I promised. Her best friend's son is my brother's buddy. Great kid and I love him to death. I have known him forever. Anyway my mother told me that he was born without genitals. He is now 23 but up until 2 years ago they did not know if he was truly a boy or a girl. He has scars all over his abdomen from where they created genitals for him. My mom said he almost died as a child and her friend was beside herself...and that is why she never had any more kids. I NEVER EVER knew that. I would never suspect. And what blows my mind is that this kid is now an engineer, climbs moutains in his free time, and has found the love of his life in a wonderful girl who loves him for who he is. And then I felt like a royal idiot for whining about myself and moaning about how many struggles I have faced. It was then that I sort of let go...and just realized that I am in control of my own happiness...I can choose to be miserable, or I can make the most of my life.
I'm choosing to LIVE. With all my flaws and faults. I just need to be me.
Thank you all so much for listening to my rants and I'm sorry if I was so wrapped up in myself. I admire you all so much. Hopefully I can get to where you are...and accept and love myself for who I am. I'm gonna work on that
I was talking to my mom today and I admit I was getting down on myself crying about health issues and worrying about my future etc. And you know, I have NOT been happy since I was in college. My mom sat me down and talked to me. I was upset saying I was dealt an unfair hand in life and that I was angry anry angry at God and at everyone else. And we talked and I sort of realized...I'm not perfect, but I only get 1 life. I'm never going to be 26 again. If the doctor said my spine is NOT curved enough to be noticed and everyone else says it is not really noticeable, then why am I wasting precdious time crying and worrying and being angry about it? I didn't even realize that I was focusing so much on myself but I guess I really was. She kept giving me examples of challenges others faced and I have to admit I was saying that they were nothing compared to what I faced. then she said I would never be happy if I did not accept myself for who I am and not keep trying to change everything about myself...just learn to go with the flow. And everyone has has told me that before but it never hit home.
Then my mom told me the clincher. She made me promise I would never tell anyone. I promised. Her best friend's son is my brother's buddy. Great kid and I love him to death. I have known him forever. Anyway my mother told me that he was born without genitals. He is now 23 but up until 2 years ago they did not know if he was truly a boy or a girl. He has scars all over his abdomen from where they created genitals for him. My mom said he almost died as a child and her friend was beside herself...and that is why she never had any more kids. I NEVER EVER knew that. I would never suspect. And what blows my mind is that this kid is now an engineer, climbs moutains in his free time, and has found the love of his life in a wonderful girl who loves him for who he is. And then I felt like a royal idiot for whining about myself and moaning about how many struggles I have faced. It was then that I sort of let go...and just realized that I am in control of my own happiness...I can choose to be miserable, or I can make the most of my life.
I'm choosing to LIVE. With all my flaws and faults. I just need to be me.
Thank you all so much for listening to my rants and I'm sorry if I was so wrapped up in myself. I admire you all so much. Hopefully I can get to where you are...and accept and love myself for who I am. I'm gonna work on that
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