View Full Version : How do I deal with this?

01-25-2004, 06:39 PM
I am a 19 year young lady, I have been living with scoliosis for about 10 years now, my curve has suddenly stopped and has been that way for one year. The curve is at 20 on top curve and 16 1/2 on bottom curve, I think! But there is one problem, I still notice it, I can't go out in public with just a string tangtop or a cut out back shirt. I can't even go out in a swim suit without wearing a shirt overtop of it. Also I feel I can't tell anyone about this because I am ashamed of it. The only two friends that know is my best friend and my ex boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend acted different around me when I told him and it scared me, I would ask him everyonce in a while to give me a back rub and he wouldn't touch my back. It seemed he thought he was going to hurt me. I hurt me but in a different way! Why do people act like this? How does everyone deal with scoliosis? How can I go out with my friends and not be embarresed?

02-07-2004, 02:35 PM
Hey i have the same problem. im ashamed of my back and the only person that knows is my ex girlfriend..i assume that other people know but they dont say anything, and i dont like to go anywhere without a shirt on. i am always thinkin about it, and when i sit down i think that maybe someone is staring at my back so i am constently worried about it. i wish i could just get over it and not care what anyone else thinks

02-10-2004, 02:22 PM
I feel the same way...Prom dress shopping sucked...but the strange thing is, for me, more people thought it was cool in a strange way, and I've actually had more people try to help me with it (pop my back, massages, etc.) than make fun of me...don't feel bad for telling people. I've actually told people after I've known them for years, thinking they knew I had scoliosis, and they said they had no clue. If they know it's better than them thinking you're just deformed for no reason...one of these days, your friends will ask, and you'll have to tell them. Research the "disease" as it is sometimes called, and have a good explanation rather then be ashamed. Mine is ugly just like everyone elses, and unfortunately, we'll all feel like that for the rest of our lives. Don't miss out on something, just because you look different.

02-13-2004, 01:51 AM
How odd, I've never had any problems with this. I generally tend to completely forget that I even have it, and it's rare that anyone notices. I think my fiance is actually the first person who ever said anything about it. I was leaning over while changing clothes, and he put his finger on my back and followed my spine down, then said, "Umm. You ARE aware that your spine is crooked, right?" And I said yes, and he nodded and said, "That's all right then, just wasn't sure if you knew. Some people have scoliosis and never realize it." Of course, he's a nurse, so I suppose that makes a difference.

As for how to deal with it, I'd recommend a nice smile and a comment along the lines of, "Yes, and your nose is big (or your ears stick out, or any variation of nitpicking over a minor physical attribute), but I figured it'd be rude of me to say so."

02-22-2004, 09:51 AM
Thanks everyone, its nice knowing that someone else is going through the same thing as me. Also its nice knowing that it doesn't matter if i have scoliosis, just live like its not there at all. I think it will take me some time to get used to the hole idea. Most people i talk to aren't even aware of what scoliosis is, so then i have to explain....thats one thing i hate to do!! I wish there was a cure to get rid of scoliosis just like a cold...then things would be much easier!! Thanks again everyone!:)

02-22-2004, 12:47 PM
Originally posted by gaf2002
Most people i talk to aren't even aware of what scoliosis is, so then i have to explain....thats one thing i hate to do!!

Instead of thinking about it as a problem, look at it as an opportunity to make people aware of scoliosis and to explain to them exactly what it is. The more people know, the better. :)

Mary Lou
02-22-2004, 05:42 PM
Keep talking! Tell everyone who asks what Scoliosis is, even if it drives you crazy, because you could save someone else the pain and frustration you are going through. With you educating people, maybe you'll encouraged someone to get their back checked and get them an early diagnosis. Who knows! That is only one positive way to look at things! Keep writing to us in this forum. I personally find you and all the others VERY helpful and supportive.

03-03-2004, 12:51 PM
Wow talking really does help, this week I have found out that two of my close friends have a curv to the spine but not bad at all maybe like 5 degrees off and thats it. I have also found out that my causin also has scoliosis, which can help for us talking to each other if we have questions and so on. So I guess Talking can be OK...Thanks

Mary Lou
03-03-2004, 04:25 PM
I'm so glad to hear that you are talking about your Scoliosis. Did you know that it tends to run in families, so there might be some connection with yours and your cousin's. Also something I've found helpful is to keep a journal. I write down doctor appointments, thoughts, hopes, etc. whether good or bad. Trust me, you can say things in a journal that you would never say to anyone! Keep talkin' 'cause we are listening!
Mary Lou