I need some confidence....anyone have any to give me? Making the BIG decision!

[JenniferG]

I'm with Gayle. Get help. There's a time and a place for anti-anxiety medication and that time is now, for you. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I got help too, because initially, I just couldn't comprehend that I would need such an invasive surgery. It definitely helped. With the anxiety eased, you may be able to see this surgery for what it is...something that's going to greatly improve the rest of your life.

[susancook]

I am having surgery for degenerative disc disease, stenotic discs, and kyphosis. I just read something on spine-health that said that multi-level fusion does not help the pain for degenerative discs. So now, I am bummed. I am feeling pretty hopeless. So, after all of the surgery, I will still have most of the pain? Damn.

Susan

[jane d]

Susan, I was 66 at the time of my surgery and had all of the same spine issues as you. All of the pain in my spine is now gone. My lumbar curve was 68 degrees and now is about 23 degrees. I had the issues of kyphosis, a lot of degeneration throughout my entire spine, arthritis, etc. a cage was put in at L4-L5. I have some sciatic pain but not enough to take pain meds for it. I had really bad pain in my lumbar area before surgery and now none. I stand straight and no longer need a walking pole to help me endure walking as before surgery. I would go through surgery again tomorrow knowing the good outcome I have had.
Jane

[susancook]

Susan, I was 66 at the time of my surgery and had all of the same spine issues as you. All of the pain in my spine is now gone. My lumbar curve was 68 degrees and now is about 23 degrees. I had the issues of kyphosis, a lot of degeneration throughout my entire spine, arthritis, etc. a cage was put in at L4-L5. I have some sciatic pain but not enough to take pain meds for it. I had really bad pain in my lumbar area before surgery and now none. I stand straight and no longer need a walking pole to help me endure walking as before surgery. I would go through surgery again tomorrow knowing the good outcome I have had.
Jane

Thanks for your reassurance. I am glad that you are pain free and you have given me some hope. L4 must be a vulnerable vertebrae. I have maxed out on my steroid injections.

I wonder if my worry about surgery is normal or if I am over the top. I am thinking of flying down to San Francisco to talk with Dr. Hu.

I am looking for reassurance. I know that a guarantee of being pain free after surgery may be unrealistic. I will send you a pm. Susan

[AngieM]

Susan, I just read through most of your thread to update myself regarding your concerns. You certainly are doing everything you can to allay your fears and doubts, but they keep returning. So I feel that I have to ask you, have you thought about getting more opinions from other top surgeons? I am sure you have one of the best, but they all vary in their technique. I was also told at one time that I would need two surgeries, posterior and anterior, and I wasn't sure I was up for that. So I waited. And I am quite a bit your senior, did not have back pain, and I'm not sure what amount of degenerative disc disease. In any case, I couldn't be more grateful to this forum for sharing their experiences. My surgery was in September and from the moment I woke up afterward, I have loved my new, strong back... You have probably heard this before, if you are uncertain, see more of the most experienced doctors until you are satisfied.
AngieM

[JenniferG]

I think Angie's nailed it. Is Dr. Hu the only surgeon you've seen? Perhaps visit one more and specifically ask the questions about the DDD and your chances of having that pain relieved. I have been to Spine Health and seen a lot of misinformation there. I think your anxiety is such that you need to do this for yourself. Then, if your anxiety continues, anti-anxiety medication will help you.

[Susie*Bee]

I am about 98%(?) sure that my information said that I had DDD also, but I have two houses and my info is at the other one... I have occasional aches and pains every once in awhile when I overdo, but who doesn't? I don't have anything that I need any pain meds for. I think the main thing a surgeon wants to explain and make perfectly clear prior to surgery is that the surgery isn't necessarily a panacea and isn't a guarantee to relieve you of pain. We all wish it were, though... How much easier these decisions would be! I'm so sorry you are going through so much turmoil-- but over the years I've seen some others struggle and struggle also.

[Confusedmom]

Just a note on anxiety meds. Don't use an SSRI like Prozac or Lexapro. They have blood-thinning properties, so could contribute to blood loss during surgery. Dr. Lenke encourages his patients to get off of them before surgery. My understanding is that Valium is okay. Your surgeon or primary care doc should be able to write a script.

Also, I agree with getting one more opinion. Someone else just posted that Dr. Hey will do long-distance consults, if I remember correctly. Might just ease your mind a bit.

Best,
Evelyn

[susancook]

Thanks everyone for your support. Yes, I have seen another first notch scoliosis/deformity surgeon who said some of the same things. Some info was different. Susan

[Irina]

Susan,

I think about you often - may be you need to meet with Dr. Hu as soon as possible (not the day before your surgery) AND get a third opinion from someone else. I think that some of your fears might be coming from different opinions on one-stage vs. two-stage surgery.

I have three opinions - I just told myself that I won't make any decision until I see at least three doctors. All three said that I need a two-stage anterior-posterior surgery. If only one of them said he'll do posterior only, be assured that I'd be going for a forth, fifth and so forth opinion. So, if you go for a third opinion and hear two-stage, it will be 2 vs. 1 in favor of a two-stage procedure.

When I met with Dr. Hu for the first time, even thought I liked her a lot, I told her that I am not ready to book the date yet. We scheduled a follow-up appointment three months after the intial one. During these three months I did my best driving myself and people around me crazy, but by the end of this period I went to Dr. Hu's appointment calm and confident in making my decision. May be if you see her one more time and discuss pain issue afther the surgery, you'd feel better.

[susancook]

2 weeks until surgery....YIKES! Give me strength!

I have my surgery 2 weeks from tomorrow in San Francisco w/ Dr. Serena Hu. YIKES! Since I last wrote, I have thought a lot about my saddness and feelings of lack of control about the surgery and have had some hypnotherapy [live] and have listened to tapes. I am in a better place now, and feel that I am being proactive about my degenerating back and that this is the right decision for me at this time. I have stopped reading the thread, "I wish that I did not have surgery". It was making me crazy.

I have talked w/ Irina a few times and have emailed her. She has her surgery tomorrow and I will post what her husband communicates. I will also visit her next Sunday in the hospital. She seems to be in a good place now.

I am feeling more confident that having the surgery at this time is my CHOICE and that I have stacked the deck in favor of success. I have chosen a surgeon that feels competent and caring and I have a very supportive family. The worry about long term neurological damage and long term pain still worries me some, but I am trying to let go of the worry and trust in Dr. Hu's competency and God. I have decided that anyone that goes into this surgery and says that he/she is 100% confident is lying, but that you need at least a 95% confidence. I am closer to 98%. The enormity of the 2 day surgery is impressive, but not overwhelming. I am not afraid of short term post-operative pain, for at least 6 months, ....I will deal with it.

Suggestions for the next 2 weeks would be appreciated. I leave for SF on Wednesday with a short vacation in Southern Oregon on the way. I have my mattress topper, tons of constipation stuff, my favorite cologne, an appointment for a pedicure, clean undies, and music on the ipod. I even bought one of those hygiene extension sticks, which I think is very funny!!!!! I hired a cleaning lady who is freshening the house today....hahahahaha, like it needs so much more than just freshening since I have neglected it since I have been in so much pain. She no doubt sees it as job security. My pain management MD in Portland just gave me some Nucynta which takes the edge off the pain and I can at least pack and not be on the couch all day. She suggested another procedure on my back, which I declined. Even she says that it is time for surgery!

I will reread all of the blogs that mention getting ready for surgery and Linda's info on line. Please spare me any bad experiences at this time as it is a challenge to keep it all together.

Thanks, Susan

[loves to skate]

Hi Susan,
I am so glad to hear that you are in a better place. That 100% comes the day of surgery when you are on the gurney just before the give you something to knock you out. God will be right there with you every step of the way. You will have many people praying for you.
Sally

[JenniferG]

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better about the surgery Susan. Also, I think the little holiday along the way to SF will help. Are you going to take before and after photos of your back? I wasn't going to, but got talked into it and am so glad I did. I think I only viewed the surgery as a way to ease the pain but the cosmetic improvements are really gratifying.

Thinking of Irina tomorrow and know we'll be behind you both, all the way.

[golfnut]

Susan,
I am glad to read that you are feeling better about having surgery. No one takes the decision for surgery lightly, but we weigh the pros and cons and make the decision that we think is right for us.
I don't know if you have your hair colored or not, but if so, I would recommend having it done right before your surgery. I also had a throw away razor taped to a long plastic handle for shaving my legs. I used it for many months. I bought slip on Sketcher tennis shoes that I could put on and take off independently with a long shoe horn.
Best of luck! The waiting was the most difficult time for me.

[susancook]

Hi Susan,
I am so glad to hear that you are in a better place. That 100% comes the day of surgery when you are on the gurney just before the give you something to knock you out. God will be right there with you every step of the way. You will have many people praying for you.
Sally

I will need drugs to get to 100%....but I see your point.
Susan