Arizonia Docs

[Back-out]

Originally Posted by twinsmom

Hi,
We thought we had a great one and since the problems really started he has been distant. We can't even ask him questions we are so intimadated. So we are going to ask for a new one when we meet with the ID doc and finally getting another consult from a physcian in a different city. It's llike a teacher in school, some work well with her or him and others don't.

Not just in your (more than) unfortunate experience - this is true of many surgeons, per patient reviews . I try to scout them up whenever possible. All too few patients post on these sites (I too am guilty, but mean to go back and review each doctor I've seen for anything, especially surgery). However, even when there are just a few reviews, one can tell quite a lot depending on what is written if one is careful to read between the lines, and carefully analyze the contents for bias and unusualness. Everything is a clue to authenticity e.g., if any one else agrees (and how far apart the comments are posted).

This surgery is kind of "miracle-working" when it goes well. "And the halt shall be made to walk, the blind made to see, the lame shall be made whole", etc.

This MUST be one of the reasons surgeons specializing, go in for it - that, and the "magic wand" of the scalpel.

When things don't work out as planned, doctors are turned off - feel inadequate. It's also boring (relative to the surgery) to deal with complications - much more of a diagnostician's detective work. Besides, teamwork is required to do it well, including deferring to other specialists. NOT in the job description!

I've found in countless areas, how much doctors - this includes educational specialists - despise feeling inadequate. Also how this plays out in the care. It's inevitably the patient [student] and parents who pay the price. So often with my sons, the one first especially (an angelic looking toddler - as he seemed at first), they began enthusiastically. "The OTHERS just didn't know what they were doing. But I CAN get through to this delightful little boy. How hard can it be?" ("Savior complex"). Hahaha.

Then, after however long it took, they were not just disenchanted, they couldn't WAIT to get rid of him/us - a real "hot potato", clinically. It was not just important to distance themselves, but to successfully attach blame. (Unable to control him, his first public school Special Ed teachers - TWO of them, for a class of seven - locked him in their large broom closet for the first week of school. No one told me; I only found out when he finally cried until midnight, confessing he was afraid of school. He had never cried about anything...).

Once their initial enthusiasm wore off, I was forced to spend half my time/energy dealing with the egos of authorities/experts to get some semblance of what we needed. What was left over, was all I could apply to actually dealing with my child's needs. I got to expect this, tried to ward it off, formed relationships accordingly, down-played my training and was deferential. It's a shame one has to trouble to figure out this kind of dynamic (with everything else one is contending with!). Otherwise, though, one can end up too drained and confused to do ones best while critical decision-making is on-going.

I am afraid a version of this process happens when scoliosis surgery doesn't perform the desired miracle. Surgeons - by definition, "incisive" and keen on personally solving the knottiest cases - may avoid the patient, in favor of the next "virgin" presentation. There, they can start with a fresh field.

Why be reminded of a failure and forced to do the tedious groundwork on the far more complex issue of repair? This requires analysis (with other medical experts), admitting error, figuring out how to salvage what can be salvaged. Hour for hour, day for day, it's threatening and draining, instead of emotionally rewarding.

Likewise, I hear many cancer specialists avoid dying patients. None of this is planned, nor are they apt to be aware of their evasions (sometimes attacks/projecting blame). Such situations affect the providers very deeply "where they live". This is when patients (and, if relevant, their parents) need professional help to understand the dynamics, and how to protect themselves. They need to take steps to maximize their care options, starting by reassurance that it's "not about them". This becomes very complicated when ones children are the patients, especially when they're "old enough to understand" (more like, old enough to be equally - or more - confused). Need for their legal consent often complicates choices. Parents can turn on each other, confused in their interpretation of the same intrinsically confusing information (not to mention, by their own wish to believe!)

"Expertise", authority, power - it's not what it's cracked up to be. Yet we (distant seconds in controlling outcomes for our loved ones), still need to somehow cope when things go wrong. The "System" provides all too little help - even in admitting the gravity of a problem. No one wants to take the responsibility (risk) of "getting involved".