I cannot relax

[asccbodypro]

I think there are very few who can honestly say that they weren't scared. Let's face it, not only are you putting your body and life in someone else's hands but it will also be forever changed....hopefully for the better, but not without some serious uphill battles first. It takes courage and perserverance. It takes much help from others.....this was where I felt so overwhelmed. Going from being a bodybuilder to not evening be able to go to the bathroom by myself. At one point when I was really sick and throwing up by 15 year old son sat with me and held the bowl.....nothing more humbling than that. They still cannot go through a day without asking me 25 times if I am ok or if I need anything.....God bless them :O) I hated that my kids had to see my like that yet I believe they are better for it. They certainly realized really quick that life isn't always going to revolve around them. It certainly takes your family coming together to get you through this and in the end it's all good.

[mbeckoff]

Every time I turn around I think of a new problem. I really do not know where I should sleep when I return home. My husband and myself have a queen bed and even with a memory foam topper I do not know if If I will be comfortable with him . He is a very restless sleeper turning over all night long. Now, I feel every movement that he makes.


Then I was reading the thread about hair falling out. For the first time in years, I am growing my hair long. My DD and myself are reenactors as civil war people and my hair needs to be long. Is there any thing that can help this problem?

Thanks for helping

Melissa

[ADMoul]

Ah, yes the bed thing. This sounds crazy but that is one of my biggest issues. My Dr. wants a hospital bed which, after wheeling one into my childhood home for my father to die in, sends me right over the edge. However, we have figured out that we will be able to put it in our bedroom upstairs right next to our "normal" bed. That way I can be upstairs as I normally am, where the nice high def TV is and near my husband. It will also allow me to have a hide-out place when I need to sleep and be away from visitors. I'm trying to think of it as my little "nest area" and I know it will make my first few weeks home easier. We also have 2 dogs and a cat who tend to share our regular bed and it may be just as well for me to have my own space for a while!
This is what I'm doing to cope with the "Last time I will ever do this" syndrome. My surgery is Feb. 2 and I have had a little over 3 weeks to prepare. As I do things I love for the last time with this body, I keep thinking "this is the last time I will do this with a crooked back" rather than the last time I will do it ever. I just keep reminding myself that after 40 years of hiding my curves and cringing when I get a rear view in the mirror, I am going to have a better life. I had one major breakdown but I've got pre-op stuff tomorrow and am ready to roll. This forum is my anti-anxiety drug right now. Lots of us are right there with you.

[sheri66]

Melissa,make sure you Brade your hair when you go for your surgery.I made the mistake and put my hair (which is really long) in a messy pony tail and when I got home from the hospital it took my daughter which is a hairdresser 5 hrs to get all the tangles out.....

[mbeckoff]

Anne- Where in PA do you live? We lived in NJ near Trenton for almost 20 years; until we moved to NC in 2007. Why does the Dr want the hospital be so much?

Sherri-Thanks for the braiding of the hair idea. I can imagine what a mess your hair was.

I too view this forum as an anti anxiety place to come.

When I can;t sleep, I visit here and find something to calm myself down.

I also keep thinking about what if something that I forget to consider and to take care off

melissa

[ADMoul]

Not sure about the reason for the bed except I'm having a long fusion (T-4 to sacrum) and because my lumbar curve is so big, he's got to do osteotomies, cages, the whole 9 yards. I think it's just to make it easier to get in and out of bed.
We live in South central Pa--in York--about 75 miles west of Phila. We love to come to Outer Banks in NC--have been vacationing there with a group of friends for about 15 years. Our vacation is end of June this year and I hope to be functional enough to get there and enjoy it even if I can't go crashing into the waves! All the more reason to get this surgery done now--just lay around and watch the Olympics!

[jrnyc]

wow, anne..that is a long fusion....i hope that all goes well..any plans to stay over in nyc ...is a rehab in manhattan near dr lonner planned?

i would need T11-S1 & L4-sacrum...are you having front & back incisions or just on one side? assume has to be front, since that is where cages go in...? because i use botox, dr lonner said he would leave my thoracic alone & just fuse lumbar...but no way to get around the need to fuse to the pelvis!
you have such a big lumbar curve...i can see where this decision is the only smart one! and he is such a great doctor! i will look to him for surgery if/when i go ahead with it myself.....

i hope everything goes smoothly & uneventfully, & it leads to a wonderful & pain free summer! i think i mentioned that feb 2nd will be a lucky day...not only is it groundhog day, my favortie holiday, but it is my sweet puppy's birthday, & also the anniversary of my retirement! so i know that you will have a successful outcome!!

best of luck
jess

[mbeckoff]

I don't know what to do about the bed because upon measuring my bedroom there is no extra space to put a extra bed. If I take my queen bed for myself and make my husband sleep else where , will I need help getting out of bed when I get home? Will a cane or walker be able to help me?
and yes the Outer Banks are great . We live in the Central Piedmont Area; about a hour north of Charlotte. We love it here

Melissa

Not sure about the reason for the bed except I'm having a long fusion (T-4 to sacrum) and because my lumbar curve is so big, he's got to do osteotomies, cages, the whole 9 yards. I think it's just to make it easier to get in and out of bed.
We live in South central Pa--in York--about 75 miles west of Phila. We love to come to Outer Banks in NC--have been vacationing there with a group of friends for about 15 years. Our vacation is end of June this year and I hope to be functional enough to get there and enjoy it even if I can't go crashing into the waves! All the more reason to get this surgery done now--just lay around and watch the Olympics!

[JenniferG]

Just a point about the bed. My surgeon won't let his patients use the overhead handle to pull themselves up. They removed that and instead, affixed a long handle to the right side of my bed to lever myself up and it was very easy to use. Once home we were going to attach a lever to the side of our bed but we have a chest of drawers next to the bed and I used that to pull myself up. I know everyone's different, but that was all I needed. Perhaps if you're having trouble, a four pronged walking stick might be enough to steady you when you get out of bed?

Also, my partner moved himself to the other end of the house so I had the bed and the room to myself. We figured if I needed him, I could call out, but I never did. We both slept well. He continued to work full time so he needed his sleep too.

Not long now Anne, you sound like you're doing great. I have a long fusion too, but have done really well. Painfree!

[loves to skate]

Hi Melissa,

Is your queen bed a newer one that is high off the floor? If it is, you should be able to get out of it yourself. You can buy a railing for up near your head that slips under the mattress if you need to pull yourself up with your arms. I think you said that you had a mattress topper for your bed. You shouldn't feel your husband move too much with a topper. I found it a comfort to me to have my husband sleep in the same bed with me when I got home from the hospital, until he decided it was time to snore. Even then, the drugs controlled whether I slept or not. I haven't heard of too many people on this forum that were required to have a hospital bed. I sure it is an individual Doctor preference.

Sally

[asccbodypro]

Melissa,

Is your house one or two levels and is it possible to have a hospital bed brought in and put in a family room or living room.....would a hospital bed be covered by insurance??? I had one brought in and we put it in our family room so I wouldn't have to tackle the stairs right away. It was nice because even though I couldn't get in or out of bed by myself the bed certainly helped by getting me in a more upright position. I to have a long fusion T5-L5and I only last for 5 nights in the hospital bed because everytime I adjusted the bed it woke up my husband who was sleeping on the couch. I was told by many that having your spouse move at all would cause pain but we have a king size bed with a pillow top matress and I never felt him move prior to surgery so I figured I wouldn't feel him move post surgery. Also, I didn't even have the lung capacity to wake him across the room when I did have to. It was also more comforting to have him close after 2 surgeries over the course of 1 week, 2 hospital stays equaling 3 days and 6 days! No snuggling but at least I could hold his hand and I did so often through boughts of serious pain. I did use the hospital bed during the day so I only made one trip down the stairs and one trip up.

As for the walker, I needed one. I was so weak that my husband was never to far behind and he also had to help me sit and get up from the toilet. Very humbling experience. That's love :O) Everyone is certainly different though but you should be prepared for anything and everything it will not only be easier for you but your spouse as well!

[asccbodypro]

For Ann not Melissa :O)

Opps Sorry Melissa that last post should have gone to Ann! See what meds do to your brain!!!!

[mbeckoff]

Well. it helped me too. I think that I will buy a mattress topper for my queen bed and hopefully I will not feel all of my husband's movements

Melissa

Opps Sorry Melissa that last post should have gone to Ann! See what meds do to your brain!!!!

[lapieper]

I have a really high bed with a 2" memory foam topper. I slept in a separate room from my husband for probably the first two months. I wasn't sleeping a straight 8 hours, and he needed the sleep as he was still going to work every day. I was up every hour, two hours or so. I'd get up, put my brace on, sit for 3 minutes, have to go potty (so off would go the brace), put the brace back on, sit and ready for 20 minutes, walk around the house, then back to bed. Once I returned to our bed my husband had made a special "step" out of 1/2 sheet plywood, so it ran the entire length of the bed. I could use the bedpost to step up onto the "step," and get in and out of bed unassisted. I kept that there for probably three months. I did worry about my log roll disturbing my husband's sleep, but nothing I do seems to disturb him. Don't know if that's love or what? LOL