Life,Work and Family

[felix999]

Hello All,

I was just wondering has scoliosis impacted on

1) your ability to work i.e. having to change jobs or leave employment altogether,

2) ability to have or raise children

3) ability to main relationships

Thanks just thought I would do a little study as I can see mine effecting these things.

[taylor]

Scoliosis has certainly impacted my life. I say it has made my life feel like an onion where each layer has been pealed away. 1st I dealt with harsh pain, continued to work & raise my kids. I don't think I was the same kind of parent I would have been if pain had not been so bad. 2nd I stopped doing things I liked to do. Then I would come home from work, go to bed in the dress I wore to work (removed panty hose) & get up & do it all again. I am still helping with home care at this point. Then (several surgeries for herniated disc in neck later) the pain got so bad in my neck & between my shoulders where I have an area that did not fuse from 1983, that I stopped going anywhere that required getting in the car, cleaning the tub got too hard, etc. There was a time when I loved a house full of noise & family. Now I want it to be quite & peaceful. I no longer enjoy the activity & noise of children & I don't want to leave the house. I have withdrawn from everyone. I am not depressed. The pain is just so bad that I don't physically feel up to seeing anyone. I have developed anxiety for which I take medication. It has affected every relationship in ways I could not even explain. It is complicated by the fact that some people see me doing one thing & think if I can do that I could surely do whatever if I wanted to. It is hard to explain that I push for every step, can do some things that seem physical, yet can't do others & that I can't do anything reliably. I never know if it is a day when I can do a little or a lot. It could be a day I can't get up. I can push for about 3-4 days then it takes a day or 2 to get up again. I do push VERY HARD. I will not lay around & let life pass me by. But, it is hard to be around people when you have to push so hard to do every little or big task. I will be interested in the responses you get from others. This was a good question. Hope my reply was not too long. Sorry.

[rainbow2010]

1) it depends on what you do. Heavy labor after surgery is usually out. Your back will absorb shock differently post-op and it will put stress above and below your fusion. This can lead to disc problems 20+ years out. I was a teacher and did very well working with special needs kids. I understood what it was like to miss school due to surgery and the stress you go through before surgery. Also what it was like dealing with cruel teenagers because I was "different" (I had to wear a plaster body cast to school for 9 months).
2) you will probably be a better parent. My youngest dughter started walking at 9 months and was very tiny. I spent a lot of time on my knees so I was down on her level. I spent a lot of time playing with my kids since I couldn't chase them. I was also more aware of their health problems.
3) My husband and I have been married over 28 years. He is fantastic. He knew about my back before we got married. He drives me to all my appointments. He teleworks on laundry day so he can carry the laundry up and down the steps for me. He also gets after me if I start to overdo something!

[dailypain]

Limitations

I had my first surgery when I was 14 in 1969. Was fused T4 to L4. After missed the entire 8th grade, I went back to almost "normal" life and activities. (With certain limitations. ie: lifting, diving , riding horses, etc)

Back in 1969 the surgery and recovery was quite different than it is today. I was in a full body cast for 6 months. Flat on my back for 1/2 that time. It was a very very hard time in my life. So I did make the decision early in life not to have any children because I did not want them to go through was I had to do through.

Now work was always no problem but it was usually office type work.

In 2006, after years of other treatment for really bad pain, I had my second and hopefully last surgery. Now I am fused T3 to S1. Unfortunely my pain and now my physical limitations (not being able to bend and having to use grabbers and sock aids), have increased. Which has made me a home body. I do still work (office work) full time. However, I work from home 2 days a week and still have to take vac or sick days quite often. Since I do still work, when I am at home I have to do basically nothing and rest in my recliner in order to make it to work the next day or next week. I am 54 now and I am hoping to make it at least one more year before I retire but I don't think I will be able to make it longer. The pain is just too hard to take everyday.

I hope I am an exception and not the norm. But I am glad I did not have any children which would surely be going through what I am now.

[jrnyc]

do you mean scoliosis or surgery...cause scoli caused me to retire early due to the pain (had to take reduced pension because of it)...& has limited my quality of life...

jess

[dailypain]

Hi JRNYC:

I was talking about my surgery for scoliosis. I had no choice but to have both surgeries. It's been so long I don't remember what it was like before my first surgery. But I was only 13 so I wasn't working.

[jrnyc]

O.K., but i read these replies & decide against having fusion surgery i am considering for spring 2010...T11-S1 & L4-sacrum...it sounds as if alot of those who have surgery end up with a whole 'nother set of problems, & i cant see trading this pain for another...i have difficulty walking, standing, lifting anything...& before pain got so bad, i worked 2 demanding jobs in nyc!

best of luck to all who are suffering..i hope you can find some relief...
jess

[felix999]

Hi Jess,

But you must remember that there are many more people who's pain has been greatly reduced by surgery. I am in a couple of different groups and have read many stories personally I think if I was in a lot of pain and my physical appearance was deteriorating I would choose the surgery option.

[Vali]

Hi,
I don't feel that having had this surgery has impacted on my life that bad. Sure the recovery process is long, but for me to have woken up the next day from surgery and be pain free (i stretched out my pain medication to 6 hours just to check!), i was estatic. Since 2006, my only pain relief was, nerve blocks, facet blocks etc. I could put my own socks on, on day three and on my second weekend home, I went to my brother-in-laws house to choreograph 5 guys who couldn't dance to be the Spice Girls (long story).
My children are both adults ( i am to be a nan in January - our sons partner is expecting), therefore no issues in that department. As for work, i am self employed with a home office, so things are easy there too!
I feel that if you are postive, your recovery will be a positive one as well. You will probably also find that your family and friends will help you out alot as well. Feel free to PM me if you need.

[Jimbo]

It has quite severely impacted on my life, but I have had other health issues -I started going blind in my left eye -that have added to the stress and frustration. But I think overall, scoliosis is by far the worst for me. That is why I am proceeding with surgery, I just can't see myself having much of a life in my current condition. Risky, but for me the decision is easy.

[JulieBW]

Many leave normal lives

Felix and everyone reading this thread,
It is very important that you understand that most people visiting this site have problems related to scoliosis. Those who have scoliosis without problems do not come here. I have one of the earlier fusions, and only started coming here a couple of years ago - because after 40+ years I developed problems. There were many others who had surgery in Buffalo at that time, the surgeons were doing one scoliosis surgery per week, but I have never seen a post here from any of them. Not everyone uses online forums, but it is a good place to look for help if you have problems. I was told to avoid springboard diving, trampolines, skiing, horseback riding, but otherwise I could lead a normal life. That is pretty much what I and many others have done.

[ldwest]

I agree with Julie most people are here to discuss their problems and look for support because of their problems. There are plenty of people who do just fine.