~Social Issues

[Danihenson]

okay..
So there I am. Picking up my daughter from school early (i know i shouldnt, I just finally felt better and wanted to.. Have fun. Very well aware it was 3rd time this year ive picked her up early) and I run in to the incredibly rude Kindergarden teacher. Wow, this one is amazing... talk about disrespectful.. and gosh, shes so quick and casual about it, it is obviously a part of what she views as "defining herself". *sigh*

!!Back on track!!
She says "Hello, what brings you here"
I say" oh just picking up tessa finally feel better and can walk.. So, were gonna go find some fun."
She says "Oh whats wrong with you?"
I say "Oh just scoliosis issues"
she says "No No, I have scoliosis, it doesnt cause me pain, i can walk just fine, MY doctor said it was worst he had ever seen when i was 19"
I say" Oh my goodness! Wow (finally have something in common with the Mrs meanie) I never knew. "
she says "Yes, well it doesnt cause me pain. You dont have pain."
I say "Oh yes. Unfortunatly I have to get these shots in my back.."
she says "Scoliosis doesnt cause pain. I, have scoliosis and I dont have pain"
I say "Yes, well, the curve doesnt hurt atall, just the ever growing area of degeneration where the facet.."
She says "No."
I say " well, new mexico pain and spine ever 3mos to 4mos and when they give the shots my leggs sometimes go a little "
she says "nope. No."
.... Dear god. and on she went without hearing a word out of my mouth. So very dispresectful...
And since I wont just stand and be treated like that, I asked her about her rods, if they had ever broken or needed revisions.. then went in to the story of the 13y boy who had the increadibly successful fusion using his own bone marrow to help the fusion process along. Heck I didnt know what else to do. Thank god my daughter came in after that. Off we went in seach of perfect gift and get busy with crafts.

I guess my question is this... When you run in to someone like this, who you will invaribly run in to every so often... How do you handle it? Or even, were any of you in this situation and had thought of a way you wished you had handled it?
Bear in mind ive always a little one in toe and must be careful about the manner in which I present myself. Rudeness just wont do.

Thanks for any/all input.
*hugg*
Dani

[Karen Ocker]

The kindergarten teacher was inappropriate and her comments display her ignorance. I suggest contacting her supervisor. You don't want this to happen to anyone else.

[txmarinemom]

The kindergarten teacher was inappropriate and her comments display her ignorance. I suggest contacting her supervisor. You don't want this to happen to anyone else.

Dani, I agree with Karen 100%: This teacher has no right to berate you. Unfortunately, the kind of ignorance she displayed isn't a rarity. Nothing you say will change the mindset of someone like that, and remember, you don't have to defend your pain to *anyone*.

The best thing to do with people like that is smile and say something simple like "You're very fortunate you don't have pain. I'm glad to hear that.".

I never had anyone try to tell me I didn't have pain, but I did get tons who wanted to enlighten me on chiro and other quack modalities. When I'd see the conversation headed down that path I'd say "I appreciate your concern, but I'm only interested in treatment by an M.D.", and leave it at that.

If someone persists after you've made your views clear, you can excuse yourself without being rude. You certainly don't have to stand there and take it.

Regards,
Pam

[Qikdraw]

My wife's old best friend was like that, I say 'old' because my wife finally had enough of her being disrespectful and dismissing everything my wife said. She was continouosly contemptuous of my wife and any problems she might have. My wife finally told her to stop calling and to leave her alone. My wife has been much happier since then.

I would also like to chime in and say you should complain. Remember this is the teacher to your child, if she is like this to you, what is she like to the children? There is no excuse for her behaviour.

Brad

[rainbow2010]

You say, "That's great! I'm glad you don't have pain, but as a teacher you should know everyone is different." We had a teadher tell my daughter when she was 14 to show her her scar in the middle of class. She did and the teacher said ewwwwww. We turned her in to the state's professional standards comission and the school district. She was not offered a contract for the next year and the complaint went on her record. Now when she applies for a job, it show there was a complaint.

[ecnw]

Working at a school, I suggest that you contact the principal and talk to her to express your feelings. I think filing a formal complaint would be over the top unless this is an on going issue. There are reasons some people work with kids, they just don't have the social skills to deal with adults.
You'll bump into people who'll understand what you're going through, people will try to one up you with their stories, or those who just never get it. She sounds like the later.
I am one of the luck ones (knock on wood) who rarely have problems with their fusions later on, but having families members with various other spinal issues, I understand it must be fustrating for people not to get it. Just because you look OK doesn't mean you feel it.
I hope you have better meetings with her,
Emily

[txmarinemom]

Working at a school, I suggest that you contact the principal and talk to her to express your feelings. I think filing a formal complaint would be over the top unless this is an on going issue. There are reasons some people work with kids, they just don't have the social skills to deal with adults.

You'll bump into people who'll understand what you're going through, people will try to one up you with their stories, or those who just never get it. She sounds like the later.

Emily, please explain why she shouldn't be removed if she'll never "get it". In MY mind, that's even *more* reason.

She doesn't have the social skills to deal with a parent, but you'd trust her with your kid???

Dani, file a formal complaint. Call the ACLU and explain what happened. This woman has NO business teaching.

[Danihenson]

I'm glad that so many of you feel it wouldnt be rude to excuse myself. In fact, I think something along the lines of "You are very lucky, indeed, to not have pain. Excuse me i've got errands to run" something along those lines anyway. Perhaps will save me time (and utter embarrasment) in future.

My oldest is 7, so this was her teacher years ago (you know I had a very hard time communicating with her back then come to think of it.)She just happened to be in front office when I went to pick tessa up.

As to the metting in question.. Like i said, shes so casual about the manner in which she conducts herself she did it in front of school nurse (who was watching phones), receptionist, assistant principal all while standing a foot from open door of the head principal. I was shocked, didnt know how to respond.. so went in to the story of the young boy who had such sucess. I just didnt know what to say or do, but I felt.... like I should take control of the conversation in some way. She just, oh my god, WOW. Shock.

I will definatly speak privatly with the head principal as soon as school re opens after holiday. I feel it is important. I know she heard what transpired, but perhaps adding my own... thoughts on to the matter will help in some way.

On a side note... I agree whole heartedly that someone in a pivital role for young children should behave and conduct themselves in a/n approiate manner. Though I do realize that our education system here is in dire need of a total over hual..... I dont feel like my expectations of the teachers is too much. *sigh* my thoughts on public edication would take volumes.. so ill close with a VERY VERY greatful thank you, to all of you who responded. I feel not only better prepared should this situation arise in the future.. but also that much more determined to share my feelings about what transpired with supervisor.

Thanks so much!
Dani

[Danihenson]

Wow... My spelling and typing is awfull.. sorry