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Thread: MY QUESTIONS including... WHY ME???!!!

  1. #1
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    Question MY QUESTIONS including... WHY ME???!!!

    do any of u ever think "WHY ME?" i'm dyin 2 know. cause i always think that! All of the time i'm wondering, "why me?" i know that there is a reason 4 it tho and that God wants me 2 learn something from it. but i think it's a test 2 see how much i will trust Him and i trust Him everyday 2.
    Valerie

    Age: 18
    Hi, my name is Valerie, but you can call me Val or V.
    I wore a Boston Brace from 2007-2010
    My curves were 30 and 31
    I now have only a single curve which stands at 35 degrees.
    I owe all of my blessings to The Lord!
    I am very thankful with where my spine is at right now.
    I want to meet some new people on this forum!
    Don't be shy...
    Feel free to message me if you would like to chat!

  2. #2
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    Why

    I can't answer what my daughters would say but I can answer for myself as the mother of identical twins with scoliosis, one who was fused on 26 March 2008 and the other in a night-time bending brace.

    I can give you a scientific answer and another type of answer.

    The scientific answer to why anyone gets idiopathic scoliosis is that your DNA contains information that tells your body to grow a deformed spine. Scientists have found the first gene associated with idiopathic scoliosis just last year. They may find other genes.

    Sometime in the course of human evolution over the last few hundred thousand years, scoliosis occurred for the first time and was passed on to subsequent generations. Maybe new cases spontaneously occur today, I don't know.

    Now, beyond your DNA, I think you also want an answer as to why you personally have this scoliosis gene and why others do not.

    Similarly, I could ask why my daughters have scoliosis and not their schoolmates. But I don't ask that.

    The question makes no sense to me. Some questions have no sensible answer.

    Just because we can ask something, just because we can state it as a question, doesn't mean there is necessarily an answer.

    I get no comfort from asking questions with no possible answers.

    I find comfort where I can. I find comfort that humans have done research and surgeons have perfected their skills so that kids with scoliosis can lead very normal lives. The truly amazing things in our world are the accomplishments of people in science and medicine who actually help people in real ways.

    This is the only life we have. It's a shame when a kid has scoliosis in that life. It's not fair. But there is no reason why life should be fair. You can make yourself crazy wondering why life isn't fair. We have to try to maximize our joy and the joy of others in this life as much as possible. That is the closest thing to a purpose in life I can think of.

    Our universe is about 13 billion years old. Our sun has about another 5 billion years left before it blows up. Not to worry because humans will be long gone before then. Also, another galaxy is heading straight for ours. That galaxy and ours will collide in several billion years. I am told you can actually see this other galaxy in the night sky now. Humans will not be around for that either.

    Now does it make any sense to ask if any of that is fair to the earth? I don't think so. It just is what it is.

    As Carl Sagan said, we are made of "star stuff." That is, the atoms in our bodies were forged in past star explosions. When the sun explodes, or when our galaxy collides with the other galaxy, our atoms will go back to being "star stuff." I find comfort in knowing that.

    Take comfort and joy in what you can.

    sharon
    Last edited by Pooka1; 04-22-2008 at 10:29 PM.

  3. #3
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    God Is In Control

    hi sharon! well........ i will have 2 tell u, i'm thankful 4 wut God has given me. a home, food, clothes, etc. but when he comes back 2 earth 1 day, i will be goin 2 heaven! i'm saved. i have a saved soul and God will be havin me and other christians in his house 4 ALL ETERNITY! i'm very glad that i can have a relationship w/God and that i can pray 2 him EVERY day at ANY time i want! isn't that gr8 how merciful he is 2 us? the world wuz made, eh bout thousands of yrs. ago, but i always ask him 2 help me w/my scoliosis, 2 make it better, and 2 bless others who r less fortunate than me. i still ask tho... why me? and why anyone?
    Valerie

    Age: 18
    Hi, my name is Valerie, but you can call me Val or V.
    I wore a Boston Brace from 2007-2010
    My curves were 30 and 31
    I now have only a single curve which stands at 35 degrees.
    I owe all of my blessings to The Lord!
    I am very thankful with where my spine is at right now.
    I want to meet some new people on this forum!
    Don't be shy...
    Feel free to message me if you would like to chat!

  4. #4
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    Location
    Indiana
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    Yes, Val, He is in control. And aren't we glad about that!!! Just wanted to say I'm impressed with your faith and also with your spunk! Or should I say "sparkle"? You remind me of my daughters when they were younger. Now they are grown up young Christian women, and I am so grateful.

    I also wanted to give you some of my thoughts on the big "why" question. Since you are a Christian, you need to remember we live in a fallen world-- sin brought that on us--so there is disease and other bad stuff that happens. Because of that, nothing is how it should/could/will be. Sometimes our problems are because we (or other people) make bad choices. With problems like scoli, they just happen. I don't think God is "testing" you with the scoli problem... other than to see how you adjust your attitude and let your faith shine through it. He doesn't say "Hey, I'll give this one scoli, and that one leukemia, or maybe this one will just have ugly hair..." to see if we'll walk with him or not. He created us and we're all beautiful in his eye. And he aches for us when we have problems. And he wants us to turn to him for the support and guidance we need to get through life. It looks like you're doing that-- and super well for someone your age! You already mentioned all the blessings you were thinking of, and he will bless you with how you deal with the scoli-- and the people around you. I've been trying to help others going through the same thing. I think that is what he wants me to do at this point-- I know some are thankful for what I have to offer-- while some others think I'm a sickeningly sweet busybody. It's ok though, because I feel like if I can help even just one person, I'm doing some good.

    And it's ok to question and wish things aren't the way they are, as long as we know it's ok and he'll see us through it. The Lord helped me so much with my own surgery last May, trusting that no matter what might happen, I am his and he would be with me always. So keep your faith and nothing will ever be too much to bear.
    Last edited by Susie*Bee; 04-24-2008 at 07:10 AM. Reason: add "or other people"
    66 and still heartbroken...
    2007 52 w/ severe lumbar stenosis & L2L3 lateral listhesis (side shift)
    5/4/07 posterior spinal fusion T2-L4 w/ laminectomies and osteotomies @L2L3, L3L4
    Dr. Kim Hammerberg, Rush Univ. Medical Center in Chicago

    Corrected to 15
    2014 DXd w/CMT (type 2)

    Click to view my pics: pics of scoli x-rays digital x-rays, and pics of me

  5. #5
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    hey susie*bee! yah i'm full of sparkle! especially in my room! (lol) i luv headbands, makeup, purses, cute clothes, the whole bargain! my mom says she NEVER thought i would be this girly when she had me! i am the major girly-girl! oh well... at least she has a daughter who won't fuss when mommy does her hair! (lol) and also, i'm proud 2 say that i go 2 church EVERY Sunday and it rocks!!! the singers are outrageousely good! boy can u feel the Holy Spirit in there on Sunday!!! anyway, TTYL! God bless u all!!!
    Valerie

    Age: 18
    Hi, my name is Valerie, but you can call me Val or V.
    I wore a Boston Brace from 2007-2010
    My curves were 30 and 31
    I now have only a single curve which stands at 35 degrees.
    I owe all of my blessings to The Lord!
    I am very thankful with where my spine is at right now.
    I want to meet some new people on this forum!
    Don't be shy...
    Feel free to message me if you would like to chat!

  6. #6
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    Jan 2008
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    8,903

    OKay Val

    Quote Originally Posted by sparklegirl59
    i still ask tho... why me? and why anyone?
    I hope someone else can answer this for you since you are still asking. (Please someone else try.) It pains me that you still are missing some answer that you want and need.

    I'm sorry I couldn't answer it for you. I guess I don't ask those questions so I can't possibly know the answer.

    I think you are a strong girl and I bet your folks are very proud of you.

    Good luck.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Monda, Spain
    Posts
    40

    Why me

    Hola

    I have often thought that myself - why can't this be given to an axe murderer or rapist - they are all stuck inside and don't deserve the life that has been given them so why not let them suffer with this pain instead of me?

    On the other hand, I feel that Scoliosis has made me stronger and I do have a strong, confident, out-going character and Scoliosis has played a major part in that.

    Scoliosis has also given me the ability to understand my fellow human being and enabled me to get on the same level, I have more compassion and feeling for those in pain - more so than those who do not have to deal with pain (not saying those who do not suffer with pain are not compassionate or thoughtful).

    So, when I think "why me" I also try to put a positive spin on this thought and think how amazing I am in coping with daily life so well considering the levels of pain that I have. There is always someone worse and that thought has often got me through many a day (as awful as that may sound!)

    Nutty
    Scoliosis Support, News, Blog
    Twisted and Curved....I like that in a person
    Harrington rod T5 to L1 (1989)

  8. #8
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    ny
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    Nutty,

    No, it doesn't sound awful at all - I think what you stated in your post was VERY well said (and true).

    I like to think I was a decent person before, but having to deal with my son's scoliosis for the past 8 years (and my many trips to Shriners Hospital) has definitely made me more aware of the plight of others, many worse off, and has made me more compassionate. It's just human nature I guess for it to have this effect on us.

    Good luck to you and thanks again for a great post.
    mariaf305@yahoo.com
    Mom to David, age 17, braced June 2000 to March 2004
    Vertebral Body Stapling 3/10/04 for 40 degree curve (currently mid 20's)

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/ScoliosisTethering/

    http://pediatricspinefoundation.org/

  9. #9
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    Jun 2004
    Location
    Monda, Spain
    Posts
    40

    Why me Scoliosis

    Hola mariaf

    Nice to hear from you

    Yes I think you are right, we cannot help but let it affect us and sometimes we do not even notice how it has affected us or why - it just does.

    I behave so differently in the various things I do in my daily life that are different to that of my husband's behaviour - little things like getting down to sit on a chair - I do that so awkwardly, the way I stand, brushing my teeth is a particular nightmare and I am hoping to get that raised so I do not have to bend so far.

    I am lucky that I am only fused to L1 - I notice this in many activities I do throughout the day - it is strange because I can bend over and grab my ankles and just hang there - it feels nice - but if I bend at a 45 angle it is a nightmare and I can sometimes get stuck. My heart goes out to those who are fused even lower than L1!

    Anyway, I just realised that I am rambling on hehehe

    Take care and all the best to you and your family

    Nutty
    Scoliosis Support, News, Blog
    Twisted and Curved....I like that in a person
    Harrington rod T5 to L1 (1989)

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    1
    Hi i am new to the fourm i am a Dad that had scoliosis surgery 23 yrs ago. Now my daughter has a 38 degree curve and has been fitted for brace we go to pick it up friday 5hr trip we live i eastern Idaho. My daughter is not looking foward to the brace but she understands the need. Sparklegirl your faith in the Lord is bold and I to share the same faith. I know now way i was given this experiance in my life . I understand first hand the suffering of others and want only to be an encouragement to others. So hang in there and remember Jesus loves you very much. KYs Dad

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    30
    Keep up the faith. This too shall pass. I feel for you. It's okay to feel sad about our situation but remember, the bible says the Lord is close unto them that are of a broken heart. He is there for you every step of the way. When you face a trial like this, that's when you feel his presence more.

  12. #12
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    Talking oh, happy day!!!!!!!

    KYs dad,
    thx 4 posting that comment. i sent u a pm. tell ur daughter feel free 2 chat w/me whenever u would like. (u can chat also. ) thx again.

    savedbygrace,
    thx 4 posting those comments 2. really made me smile. feel free 2 pm me anytime u like. (i sent u a pm also.)
    Valerie

    Age: 18
    Hi, my name is Valerie, but you can call me Val or V.
    I wore a Boston Brace from 2007-2010
    My curves were 30 and 31
    I now have only a single curve which stands at 35 degrees.
    I owe all of my blessings to The Lord!
    I am very thankful with where my spine is at right now.
    I want to meet some new people on this forum!
    Don't be shy...
    Feel free to message me if you would like to chat!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Monda, Spain
    Posts
    40
    Hola KYs Dad

    Nice to meet you and wishing you and your daughter all the best with your Scoliosis

    Take Care and be well
    Scoliosis Support, News, Blog
    Twisted and Curved....I like that in a person
    Harrington rod T5 to L1 (1989)

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    127
    (i'm bored ) heehee... emberassing...
    Valerie

    Age: 18
    Hi, my name is Valerie, but you can call me Val or V.
    I wore a Boston Brace from 2007-2010
    My curves were 30 and 31
    I now have only a single curve which stands at 35 degrees.
    I owe all of my blessings to The Lord!
    I am very thankful with where my spine is at right now.
    I want to meet some new people on this forum!
    Don't be shy...
    Feel free to message me if you would like to chat!

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    8,903
    Did you check out those two cute animal photo sites I posted for you?

    sharon

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