i have to get thorcoplasty

[ck43]

Hey you, and others, did you get from earlier posts to this same thread I was in Playboy magazine? Just asking. I am still proud of it, though many parents would not be, although even my dad later, couple of glasses of wine (RARE!) said his daughter was beautiful and no one could deny. I can't tell you what that meant to me. At the time of my earlier scoli, my father, was very much a promoter of womens' sports.

Guess I was a disappointment though my father loves me.

I am "touted" in general in PB as one of the sexiest girls of the Pac Ten.

tg, what do you think of that?

Understand? Just hang in there. It seems like forever but it won't be, I promise. I remember praying to God for things I might miss out on. BentMetal and I are here and we went on to other things. Would you believe few people asked me for a date in college and even in late high school? Girls and some boys told me boys/guys were intimated. Do you think it was because I was so pretty?

No, I just walked straight and I had my own mind. I wish you could feel the cadence of my walk. I know you have your own cadence. You just need someone else to say, "Hey, what are you doing?" Stride tg, stride. "Hey, tg. What are you doing?" Feel it.

stride

[lisanicole]

I love my body... scoliosis & all.

At first, reading your post I am confused. A "normal body"? Does such a thing even exist? And who defines what a "normal body" truly is? For us, it's scoliosis that sets us apart. But for someone else it might be arthritis, or ms, or having a prosthetic leg or arm, alopecia, etc. Everyone struggles with something, and the way they deal with it creates character. If everyone were the same, or "normal" then this would be a very different world.

However, on second thought I realize that learning to love your body is a process and hopefully eventually you will be proud of your body.

Embrase your scoliosis, be proud of overcoming obstacles, and appreciate your own unique self.

I had my scoliosis surgery six years ago next month. I never had my rib hump minimized. I've discovered a way to love my body the way it is. I go swimming in public, I wear what I want to wear, I don't let it stop me, and neither should you. I just got married this month, and I wore a strapless dress. Everyone remarked on how wonderful my back & scar are looking. I felt beautiful with nothing to hide.

Ofcourse there will be limitations, but nothing that will keep you from living your life to the full.

This forum is a great way for people with scoliosis to share and for you to realize you're not so "abnormal" or alone after all. Everyone here has very insightful things to say, hopefully you have learned something from it all.

Take care!

lisanicole
23/F/Canada
Surgery November 10, 2000
80 Degrees thoracic down to 19
L5-T1

[LindaRacine]

Wow, Lisanicole, you're pretty smart for your age. :-) Very well put.

--Linda

[sweetness514]

Hey you, and others, did you get from earlier posts to this same thread I was in Playboy magazine?

Whoa, you must be a hottie, and good for you, if you felt comfortable. I have a question, did you have your pics taken before or post op?

I just thought about it last night, and the only time I really felt like I had scoliosis was in HS, b/c of the growing curve and the brace. As soon as I took it off, man did I become a woman and didn't even think or cared about my hump. I was also asked about being a model for different magazines and doing catwalk, but always refused not b/c of the scoliosis but b/c I'm more of an introvert and was loving more being behind the scenes, as I was a make-up artist. I also got married with an open back strapless gown, and never cared about people seeing my scar, on the contrary it's part of me.

Ever since surgery I didn't think I had scoliosis anymore, but again realized I still do when I see my Xrays. Now it's more I feel like I have a hardware store in my back, but that's a different story. Only the pain annoys me from this condition, and on a cosmetic side I think it's good that it's on our back, not as noticeable as other body imperfections. But again those are personal perception, as I think imperfections are what makes a person unique sometimes.

[ck43]

Hey sweetness -- pics were post operative and the reason I like the picture they chose because I am bending over sideways looking at the camera, washing my hair. Very innocent pic but it was like some "weird" kind of triumph or a see, I am as good as anyone else. I can see my scoli but obviously lay persons can't or just didn't. I know parents here won't understand it or they will think I did something immoral, but I "killed" something that day. A haunt of mine inside.

My caption reads something about liking a challenge, and I think those of us here may know how deeply I meant ... Well I would never have had the confidence to even try in the first place except I had a giant intuition that it was mine. People, boys in particular, never like to know why I did it. Even my family has had a difficult time in understanding, but do you understand?

I had the intuition but I also had a deep psychic..pain and lower self-worth than maybe some others. It is not at all hard for me to go through battles of thinking I am ugly. People's reactions are so funny to that, "No you're not. Why do you say that?" or when I am feeling okay and talking about some part of my past, people may say, "You were never ugly."

It's like they don't get how I FEEL and they don't understand how I "process" how I feel, how it interprets, how it's part of a pattern made from experiences from jr high and high school. Like an untouchable. I am not saying I didn't have any friend back then, but all my "friends" dropped me like a hot potato in the beginning.

I would like to talk about a goddess. Fran Nordstrom of the famous Nordstrom department store family. She visited a children's hospital in Seattle and she was moved by the scoli girls (sorry there are just more of us than boys) and their low self-esteem. Fran Nordstrom had an idea. She would take all of the girls to Nordstrom, hair, makeup, clothing and have a fashion show. She would have "experts" show the girls what looked good and so on. Fran Nordstrom did this on an annual basis in Seattle, until she died.

Laura Gowen, founder of the NSF, is another goddess but she's just so fiesty.... I am not sure goddess is the right word. In the 1980s, "I" still wondering deep underneath if I was "good enough"... or good enough to have been part of "that crowd" even though I developed friends in "that" crowd, as a scoli girl..to be truthful the one girl, the most beautiful girl in our school, cheerleader etc. had a lot more going on underneath than anyone might have known. She was a nice girl.

Anyway, I decided to go out for a pageant and I needed volunteer work. I chose scoli and I met Laura Gowen. Long story short we revived both the Washington state chapter of NSF and we/I got the pageant back up.

I tell you it is a thrill to look at the video tape. The girls were so thrilled to meet other girls, just like them. Some had travelled to Seattle from across the state. They were all giggling getting their hair done, trying on pretty clothes, and then walking a real runway. And you know how glamorous Nordstrom professionals can be? Boy were they glamorous, I mean it was the real deal with refreshments, and an emcee.

Sweetness I am not a hottie but I do have a sweet face, pretty smile, pretty eyes and a back that isn't quite straight, with some very nice scars: they are mine. Wow you must be tall if you got a shot at runway work and real modeling.

Oh and the pageant? I got my little tiara for part of it and went on to the finals and what I realized fast was I didn't like any of this, and I had nothing or little in common with those other girls. I also didn't liked being judged that way. I'm whacked, I know... because later I had a professional job that involved "image", e.g. representing a company. I always thought that was weird too ... image. A Corporate image.

I have issues but they are more about how people judge others based on appearance. I learned important things because of early scoli experiene. I am also a genuine person who never or rarely judges others based on appearance. We all know the heartache of that.

Now if only tg would show back up and see these more positive stories. tg? One more year buddy, one more year. How are you feeling?

[sweetness514]

I know what you mean how some people can't understand why you would pose nude but I personally try to not judge other's lives and what they do, and I also am the "live and let live" type, meaning if one feels good about doing something than I'm all for that. My husband is not the jealous type, and he was the opposite of me in the sense that he always said if I would have been approached by such a magazine he would have been proud to have me do it, if I was comfortable of course. I'm a prude, come from a Catholic Italian family and nudity was taboo at home. This attitude has stayed with me all my life. I know how PB does great looking pictures, and your layout sounds so cute

I'm only 5'5", but the catwalk I was asked to do was local fashion shows, where they use different heights, even different sizes.

You sure have interesting stories to share

[ck43]

Hey, girlie, (Sweetness) I come from the same background Italian Catholic. Oh and the other half was Irish Catholic. No one had to worry that I was going to do anything fattening, illegal, or immoral (my doctor always winked when he said this but he meant it) during my scoli years.

I am 5'4 and 1/4 inches and I am right proud of that last 1/4 inch.

Wasn't it weird when you finally got up after your first surgery and everything was shorter around you? Tables, counters and Mama!

Your hubby sounds sweet like mine. Whelp! Next week I get to see the doc and learn the next step if there is one, and I sure there is one but I don't have to think about that today do I. Nope!

[sweetness514]

Wasn't it weird when you finally got up after your first surgery and everything was shorter around you? Tables, counters and Mama!

LMAO, yeah I'm taller than all my family, and if it wasn't for my remaining curve I'd probably be 5'7" or so. walking around after surgery with only one inch gained made everything seems so weird, still. When I read about people gaining more,

I'm also half Italian, the rest is French Canadian. I have a temper, just once in a while

My name is Nancy, I usually use Sweetness online b/c it's nice and used to be the nickname of a character on a soap(Days) that really cheered me up when I watched it during those sometimes hard teen years.

[tonibunny]

Im looking for an honest answer...

Is it possible to be happy with your body with scoliosis? am i going to be haunted with this for the rest of my life? it sounds like sweetness514 has had to deal with it since she was 12. im not really looking forward to the future if this deformity is going to cause more problems.

all i want is to make my body look as normal as possible. how can i achieve this? scoliosis is ruining my life.

I grew up with scoliosis (I was diagnosed with infantle idiopathic scoli with a double curve of 62/40 degrees when I was 6 months old) and had a very noticeable deformity throughout my childhood. I had surgery when I was 10, and again when I was 18, and a further surgery when I was 25.

I still have curves of 45/35 degrees and a small rib hump (even after two costoplasties) but I am extremely happy and comfortable with my body. I'm slim and can look good and because I am confident about the way I look, no-one ever notices my scoliosis. Some of my friends even say they wish they had my figure! I'm proud of my scars and think they look cool, so I have no problems wearing a bikini on the beach

I think my confidence stems from the fact that I had such a noticeable deformity as a child, so now I really appreciate the skillful treatment I had, and enjoy how I look as an adult.

[sweetness514]

You know it's funny that I was criticised for how I look, but even the biggest jerks(one abusive that was my first 'love") didn't say a thing about my scoli. It was always too thin, and so on; always something. Maybe a lot of people don't notice scoli b/c they don't know what it is most of the time.