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Thread: My fiancee has scoliosis. I Have questions.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    2

    My fiancee has scoliosis. I Have questions.

    I have been with a girl for over two years now and we are now engaged. I always knew she had scoliosis and I dont have a problem with it. She had a back surgery when she was a teenager. Aside from a scar down the length of her spine and a slightly drooping shoulder it isnt much noticable. Im not sure exactly what type of scoliosis she has because I havent talked to her about in depth too much, because I didnt know if it would hurt her feelings. I just wanted to show her that it didnt concern me much. She said her case was severe, i think she somthing about her back turning at 40 somthing degrees. But, like I said you cant much tell now.

    Now that we are about to be married she has told me she doesnt want to have kids and I have a feeling that it has to do with her back. Could she have pregnancy complications from the scoliosis? Is there a great chance of passing the scoliosis on to our children?

    Also, does she risk hard complications later in life?
    I dont want to ask her these things because im worried about upsetting her.

    Thanks in advance for answering my questions.

  2. #2
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    Sep 2003
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    Northern California
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    Hi 1...

    Scoliosis usually doesn't cause any complications with pregnancy. However, because of her fusion surgery, she may not be able to get an epidural during delivery.

    It is believed that scoliosis is hereditary. No one, however, knows what the chances are. I know a lot of people with scoliosis, and relatively few (maybe 5-10%?) have actually passed it along to their kids.

    Probably the biggest risk as far as the future goes, is that your fiancee will have back pain. However, about 80-85% of adults have a problem with back pain at least occasionally, so it's probably not anything with which you need to be concerned. If she does start to have back pain that doesn't resolve in 4-6 weeks, she should find a doctor who specializes in scoliosis.

    Best of luck to you and your fiancee in your new life together.

    Regards,
    Linda

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    2
    Thanks for your answers. I found out a little more about my future wifes condition. I asked her about it and she didnt seem to really mind at first but then she started to cry. She just went to a doctor who diagnosed her with PTSD from the surgery she had which left the scar on her back. They prescribed her an anti-anxiety medicine. I dont think it is that bad but she is really depressed about it. She had 8 vertebrae fused and had a 47 degree turn in her back beforehand. She called this surgery a posterior fusion. She said she had an anterior fusion surgery done before this one, but the rod broke so they did the second surgery just a few months before we met.

    What is the likelyhood of this getting worse when we get older? Is there anything I could do to help with her PTSD? She seems really depressed lately, even though the surgery was over 2 years ago. I understand she could be a little self conscious about the scar, but I dont want that to run her life.

    Thanks again

  4. #4
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    Sep 2003
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    Northern California
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    Hi 1...

    Are you asking if the scoliosis will get worse? If the surgery was done correctly, and it worked, her scoliosis should not worsen. She could develop a curve above or below her fusion. There just aren't any guarantees.

    I honestly don't know much of anything about PTSD. If your fiancee is seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist for it, you might want to ask if you can attend a session with her to see if there's any way you can help. In the meantime, just be sure your fiancee knows that her scars don't make her any less attractive to you.

    It sounds to me like your fiancee is really lucky to have found you. :-)

    Regards,
    Linda

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    3

    kata

    i'm 29 year's old, had a surgery about 12 years ago and now i have a 2 years old healthy doughter!
    good luck for you and don't worry

    ps. sorry about my bad English..

  6. #6
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    Jan 2006
    Location
    Tasmania
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    My fiancee has scoliosis. I have questions

    Hi, what a sweety you are, asking questions so you will know best how to help her. Well nothing but good news from this end and this old girl is 54 years of age and had her operation 40 years ago.
    I have 2 beautiful adult sons and there was not a problem at all having them. Remembering I had the operation back in the dark old days, I have led a perfectly fantastic life and scoliosis has not stopped me from doing anything at all.
    Admittedly over the past few years there has been pain but as Linda said everyone suffers a bit from back pain at some stage in their life. Please dont worry about it you will find that love is the most important thing and will get you through anything, scoliosis will be way back there in the back ground somewhere. I wish you both every happiness.

    Operation 1966, 85 degree curve, fused from T4 to L3, Harrington rods, Correction very good, still have a bit of a curve, but i'm not complaining.

    Macky

  7. #7
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    Jun 2006
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    Euharlee, Georgia
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    The best support for her is a caring husband and you sound like you would be one. My husband has been great. I had my surgery in 1975 and carried two children to full term. They were both c-sections because of the tilt of my pelvic bone. My husband was in the operating room and got to watch both births. I could not have epidurals and had to have a general. It made me relate to my mom's generation! (I have a grandson and was present at his birth, so it made up some for not being awake for the birth of my daughters.) I had no problems carrying my girls. The rod and fusion gave me extra support and I had no backaches. I had back labor with my first daughter and didn't feel anything!!! Now that I am older, I have problems due to my fusion and aging. My husband of over 25 years, drives me to all my appointments, and even works from home on days following any treatments in case I need anything. So, your loving her, supporting her, and being there for her is fantastic.
    T12- L5 fusion 1975 - Rochester, NY
    2002 removal of bottom of rod and extra fusion
    3/1/11 C5-C6 disc replacement
    Daughter - T7 - L3 fusion 2004

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    London, Ontario, CANADA
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    36

    To Mr. Fiance

    I've had this surgery that your lover woman had. My only fear between me and my boyfriend (to do with the scoliosis) is that it could cause problems between us. I always worry that he is maybe grossed out by my scar and droppy shoulder. I need reassurance that it's not a problem, and that it won't be a problem in the future.
    I worry about being left becuase of the scoliosis.
    That's my biggest fear.
    So as long as you give her reassurance that it's not an issue between the two of you.....I think she'll be happy.
    But of course that's just my opnion

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Ottawa, ON
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    10

    Support of all kinds

    Your gal is lucky to have you

    I had a posterior spinal fusion/Wisconsin intrumentation (Harrington Rods) in 1989 and then a thoracoplasty in 1993.
    Both surgeries were successful (with a few complications), my curve decreased, and I went on with my life.

    For many years after my surgeries I was able to ignore my scoliosis, pain free. And even forget most of the time that I even have rods in my back and a twisted spine.

    In the last 5 yrs I've had increased pain & have been searching for answers/solutions to this. I am also worried about having kids but reading all the success stories in here has helped.

    Like Sparks - my biggest fear is that my loving man will leave me because of my scoliosis. Not because of how it makes my body look, but how it affects my day to day life with pain. I fear he will not want to spend the rest of his life with someoen who has chronic pain, because it gets me down and depressed sometimes.
    He's wonderful though and does his best to reassure me. Keep letting your gal know you support her 100%, that's important.

    And you might want to direct her to this message board, it would probably help her to connect with others who have been through and are going through the same things.

    Cheers,
    Jenni

  10. #10
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    Sep 2005
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    24
    I love kids but I will not have children for the sake of man kind....

  11. #11
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    May 2009
    Location
    Topeka, KS
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    397
    I was told because of my severe curve i would never be able to carry a child full term. I showed them. I have a healthy 13 yo boy now. I had literally no problems, although I did experience a little nerve pain down one leg - but that was remedied by stoppijng the car periodically. I do have a cousin, however, who had to have some type of surgery before she could carry children. Good luck to you. And congrats on your upcoming marriage.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Topeka, KS
    Posts
    397
    Well, your girl is more than lucky to have you - you trying to find out how to make her more comfortable and become more educated yourself. You have shown the interest at least and are staying with her - that speaks for itself!!!
    Kudos to yoU!!!!!!

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