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Thread: Weired comments about your weight.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    36

    Weired comments about your weight.

    Hi everyone,
    I just wanted to know if any of you ever had this. Living with scoliosis, I realize that we are not all 120 pound. But here his the situation. I was always told that if I ever gained weight it wouldn't help my situation and my pain, so I always knew that I couldn't.
    Cronic pain takes a tole on a persons body on its own, and for me well when I am in pain well eating is the last thing on my mind. And when I do site for dinner well it hurts after a fiew minuts so you eat fast.etc.
    I don't weigh alot,and I work hard at my back to keep my back musculs in shape to put off this surgery( that I am suppose to get )to a time that the kids can understand better etc.. and it just pi...... me off when I have someone make a stupid comment to me about my weight.
    Like it hapend on it own. Like I just snap my fiqures and the weight just melts off.
    Especially when the person who makes the comments does no effort what so ever to loose her weight and tells me this comment as she is eating the greasies food there is. I replied to herthat it doesn't happend on its own, and that if she wantes to trade places with me I would so it but that I know she would not last a minute in my shoes.
    I then proceeded to explain to her that sometimes people are not given a choise, and work hard for medical reasons. But that I my case even if I hade the choise I would still choose this over what she is doing to herself.
    People who make comments about other people weights whether it because they are over weight or thin just get to me.
    I wish they would think befor speaking. There are ways to inquire about such thing and make it into a complement, people have done it to me in the past.
    Anyway, it is just a little stupid thing that just happend to me again last night at my kids school BBq. and I thought I would share. And please don't take me wrong, I always try to get the good out of a situation that I see in a bad way, and I did take it at the end as a compliment.
    But, the way she was making her comments was of gelousy.
    I just thought I would share because it is something that I use to always get and i was just curiouse to see if anyone else get tick off or am I the only coucou here..
    Take care everyone. Cic.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    913
    Hey Cic,

    I can relate, since all my young adult life I was either very thin or thin, but so many used to taunt and harass and tell me to my face that I had "ugly legs"(but they're not, and this girl was jealous, bottom line), or that I needed to add weight. Now that I had the surgery, I gained some and am in my normal weight(5'5, between 120 and 130 pounds, I fluctuate), b/c for some reason the scoliosis made me thinner and now my weight stays on and it's better for my rods and not feeling them too much to have some "padding", or even muscles. Now some(in my family, sis and mother in law NOT my parents or dear hubby) make comments that I have "baby fat", etc, and it's ridiculous b/c it's none of their business what I weigh and I look fine. I can't imagine commenting on someone's looks or weight to make them feel bad, shame on people who act like that

    Hang in there and please don't let these people bother you. I know what I'm worth and you know what you're worth and I know these are either jealous or bitter people, and they're so insecure with themselves that they have to dump all over others to make themselves feel better. That just pisses me off too, but letting it get to you will only make her feel better. I know it's hard to do, I myself am very sensitive and usually think later to reply to these types(as we say in French je suis une bombe a retardement, haha) but I TRY to keep my cool in front and act like I don't care and they're the one with the problem.

    Come here and vent all you want and then you'll feel better, I know how sometimes it takes time to pass
    Last edited by sweetness514; 06-13-2006 at 05:39 PM.
    35 y/old female from Montreal, Canada
    Diagnosed with scoliosis(double major) at age 12, wore Boston brace 4 years at least 23 hours a day-curve progressed
    Surgery age 26 for 60 degree curve in Oct. 1997 by Dr.Max Aebi-fused T5 to L2
    Surgery age 28 for a hook removal in Feb. 1999 by Dr.Max Aebi-pain free for 5 years
    Surgery age 34 in Dec.2005 for broken rod replacement, bigger screws and crosslinks added and pseudarthrosis(non union) by Dr. Jean Ouellet

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Grand Rapids, MI
    Posts
    313

    They will be critical no matter what your weight

    Hi Cic,

    Thanks for sharing your feelings about the critical remarks regarding weight. It sounds like the person criticizing you had some weight issues herself; she is probably a very unhappy person and putting someone else down made her feel superior in some way.

    It sounds like you are a very artistic person who enjoys drawing and painting and usually those of us who have a creative bent also have a very sensitive nature to criticisms from others. We feel them very deeply and they cut to the core probably more than others who are more thick-skinned and can let them bounce off.

    It sounds like you are exercising and taking care of your body and your scoliosis the best you can, so as long as you know you are doing the right stuff, try to not let thoughtless comments throw you off. Anyways, with scoliosis, a few extra pounds often make you look better because they "pad" the curves so that the humps and bumps don't stick out as much as when you are skeleton thin. I lost quite a bit of weight years back from an illness and thought people would compliment me. Instead, they asked me what was "wrong" with me; said that I looked ill and that my curved back stuck out more and made me look worse. Now I have put some extra padding back on and feel that I look just fine. My grandmother told me that it is natural for your body to keep at 10 pounds of extra weight on to use in case of an illness.

    Plus from what I hear on this forum, if you do have surgery, you will lose 20-30 or so pounds just from the recovery and healing process while you are waiting for your appetite to return.

    Also, remember that "Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks into the heart".

    Deb

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    36
    Thanks for the feed back guys.

    I find people funny at times when they comment on something. It must be a bad wk cause I just got back from my last school council meeting for this yr, and we when to a restaurent to celebrate the end of the yr with the principal and as I arrived dressed in a skirt and short sleeve top, one of the parents said'' god women put some meet on you.''
    I started to laugh to myself, thinking not again.
    So I just answered back,'' I can't '' she asked why? I said I work hard to look the way I do, it doesn't happend on its own, and then like always it started a whole lesson on scoliosis and what it is and what it does, and that is fine.
    I like it when it ends up teaching them something.
    When I think someone looks good I tell them ''you look good, what have you been doing, and what ever they answer I say good for you, you should be pround.''

    Anyway, I wish you could of all seen my face about two hours ago when they made the comment again. Aahhh you would of all laugh at my face. I am the type of person who speaks whith her eyes and face. It was pretty good. hehehe. Anyway go to go, too much sitting for one night.

    Thank you again for the response. Back up again Cic.
    Last edited by CicfromOttawa; 06-13-2006 at 09:00 PM.

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