I had a spinal fusson about two and a half years ago, my sophomore summer in high school and everytime I went to for my check up in the Oakland Children's Hospital with Dr. Policy, I saw these kids in wheelchairs or in cruches. At the time, I felt bad and said to my mom sitting next to me that my back didn't hurt as much as it did when I walked in about twenty minutes ago.
That was two and a half years ago and I started crying today. Was it because I finally reliezed what that feeling was when I relieze, sitting there, that I could walk out and they couldn't? Was it that it took this long to relieze how lucky I was? Truthfully, I don't know, probably both. I think it was guilt. I felt guilty that I could walk and they couldn't. I was 16 and they were 10 and they were already in wheelchairs because their Scolisis was so bad and mine wasn't. Was it guilt that is crushing my chest? Yes, I think it was. Maybe it was because I felt the need to help them, do something! Anything! *sighs* I don't know. Maybe it was because seeing a 10 year old child paralized from the neck down broke my heart...
*sighs* Thanks, I just needed to get that off my chest.
That was two and a half years ago and I started crying today. Was it because I finally reliezed what that feeling was when I relieze, sitting there, that I could walk out and they couldn't? Was it that it took this long to relieze how lucky I was? Truthfully, I don't know, probably both. I think it was guilt. I felt guilty that I could walk and they couldn't. I was 16 and they were 10 and they were already in wheelchairs because their Scolisis was so bad and mine wasn't. Was it guilt that is crushing my chest? Yes, I think it was. Maybe it was because I felt the need to help them, do something! Anything! *sighs* I don't know. Maybe it was because seeing a 10 year old child paralized from the neck down broke my heart...
*sighs* Thanks, I just needed to get that off my chest.
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