surgery-who watches the kids???

[lelc2002@yahoo]

Can you tell me how all of you with young children managed after surgery & while in the hospital?? I can see my husband getting thru the 10 day hospital stay with them perhaps working a bit from home. But then assuming he's in several times to see me (hospital's in NYC, 2 hours from home), I'd think it's better for the first week if the boys did'nt see me the way I thk I'll be looking...from other forum member stories....that seems to be the worst stage. My sister says she can take them when I need her. For all you that have gone thru this...._ when do you think I should use her????(without over depending on her....) thks... Lynne with 2 active boys 7&10.........possible summer surgery-ant./post...

[itsjustme]

Can you tell me how all of you with young children managed after surgery & while in the hospital?? I can see my husband getting thru the 10 day hospital stay with them perhaps working a bit from home. But then assuming he's in several times to see me (hospital's in NYC, 2 hours from home), I'd think it's better for the first week if the boys did'nt see me the way I thk I'll be looking...from other forum member stories....that seems to be the worst stage. My sister says she can take them when I need her. For all you that have gone thru this...._ when do you think I should use her????(without over depending on her....) thks... Lynne with 2 active boys 7&10.........possible summer surgery-ant./post...

In the hospital from what I remember (and being on as many painkillers as I was it's a miracle I even remember my own name :lol: ) my husband was able to watch our daughter. We also had help from a friend of the family. If you have help from family members take it! I unfortunately did not have that advantage until after I was out of the hospital. My family lives in southern Texas and my husbands family lives in Florida, but we live in Maryland, and my surgery was in North East D.C. not too far from home but significant with the way DC streets are with all of their potholes/construction/steel plates all over the place. be careful, and I'll pray for a speedy recovery for you when you have your surgery!

[suejeryl]

my kids were 9 & 7 when i had my surgery. i scheduled it for right after school started so that they would be occupied most of the day. we hired our favorite sitter to pick them up from school in the afternoons; take our daughter to dance and piano (my son's coach took him to soccer and brought him home); and stay with them until my husband came home from work. we retained her for six weeks, beginning the day of the surgery. have your sister take the kids for the night before/day of your surgery so that your husband can stay at the hospital with you. except for the day of surgery, my husband didn't take time off until i came home. he spent a week at home with me then and then he worked half days for a week and then i was ready to fly solo with checks at lunch time. i was NOT up to supervising my kids by myself for entire days for 3 months, and even then it was a struggle, so keep whatever help you can get for awhile! i spent a lot of time the month before my surgery on arrangements so that i could tell the kids exactly who would be doing what for them when. that predictability will be very important to them when they are so uncertain about what's happening to you.

[Mary Lou]

When my oldest daughter had surgery, I made a calendar for her younger sister so that she knew exactly who would be picking her up from school, taking her to band practice,etc. I also made one for my Mom and one for my husband so there was never a doubt who would be helping her out on any particular day. It seemed to be a great stress relief for her.

Mary Lou

[lelc2002@yahoo]

thks for your input....the realities of this whole thg are creeping into my mind. I'm sure you can relate. On a funny note, I'm looking around my bedroom last night thking it's time to paint & spruce it up before visitors.
I'm wondering how long before will I be able to go downstairs(to the kitchen) ? when can I cook-I'm really into cooking & baking..? Or can you tell me if I can go downstairs to get my own coffee after a couple weeks at home??? Can I dress myself? will I need a walker?.....all these thgs run thru my mind....

[itsjustme]

thks for your input....the realities of this whole thg are creeping into my mind. I'm sure you can relate. On a funny note, I'm looking around my bedroom last night thking it's time to paint & spruce it up before visitors.
I'm wondering how long before will I be able to go downstairs(to the kitchen) ? when can I cook-I'm really into cooking & baking..? Or can you tell me if I can go downstairs to get my own coffee after a couple weeks at home??? Can I dress myself? will I need a walker?.....all these thgs run thru my mind....

I had to have help for the first 2 months going up and down the stairs. Wear grippie socks if you can. I've fallen down my stairs a few times already after the surgery in plain socks. (I have hardwood stairs) Also had to have help bathing and getting in and out of the shower. Dressing myself was a problem as well. I had 32 staples in my back and wearing a bra was practically impossible until they were removed (the staples that is) Getting your arms raised up to put on a shirt was difficult as was getting on socks and tying my shoes. Luckily I had one of those little devices that you put a sock over and you put it to your foot and you pull the straps to get your sock on. (if you can get on of these from the physical therapist that will help you learn how to get up properly and help you do things for yourself get one, it comes in handy) Hmm.. I did use a walker for a little bit. Not too long though. I had a minor complication when one of the screws were put in too deep and it nicked the dura and I was getting SEVERE headaches. I used the walker just for balance so I wouldn't topple over. And also when I went for short walks after surgery to help me improve. Hope this helps. ~Shelley

[suejeryl]

i bought a new bed (not the mattress) before the surgery because i thought, "i cannot possibly recover in this ugly bed!" any excuse to redecorate. i could make it up and down the stairs right away but it was painful. we put a small refrigerator in our bedroom and kept snacks, cereal, water, milk, etc. in it for when i was alone. i'd say it was 3 or 4 weeks before i could go up and down in comfort and confidence. i still never ever take the stairs in stocking feet; bare feet or shoes only. i went to one of those make your own dinner places before the surgery and put a month's worth of main dishes in the freezer so my husband wouldn't fuss...i was not up to speed strengthwise in the kitchen for 3 months or so. no one died of malnutrition. laundry was something i did almost immediately because our washer is close by and it didn't take much energy; an easy way to feel productive i guess. it wasn't hard to shower and i could dress myself once i figure out what to wear (t-shirt under brace, elastic-waist pants over, sandals); i used a walker for a month but then i didn't need it. if you get a walker, get one with a tray...it's great for putting things on instead of carrying them!

[HGD24]

Luckily, the upstairs of our house wasn't finished before my recovery, so I had access to the kitchen and livingroom on the first floor. It was a few weeks before I could shower and get dressed without help from my husband. I too had the sock mechanism and used a 'grabber' to help pull on elastic waisted pants and underwear. I used a walker for the first few weeks as well, both inside and outside of the house. I "cooked" a few very simple meals but with a lot of help from my husband...he was amazing throughout the entire process of recovery! We also had meals brought to us as a gift from my bosses. They hired a caterer (housewife who cooks and delivers to people in her spare time) to bring 2 meals a week for a month...which turned out to be 4 meals a week because the portions were so large! It was a great idea!

The best thing to do would be to talk to your surgeon about your expected post-op restrictions. He/she knows your case and can hopefully give you a better idea of what your specific situation will be. Good luck!

[Marcilo]

Dressing myself was a problem as well. I had 32 staples in my back and wearing a bra was practically impossible until they were removed (the staples that is) Getting your arms raised up to put on a shirt was difficult as was getting on socks and tying my shoes.

Another question, how long do they keep staples and why do they put those in there... i thought rods are used to hold fusion

[itsjustme]

Another question, how long do they keep staples and why do they put those in there... i thought rods are used to hold fusion

I had my staples in for two weeks. I had (have) stitches on the inside of my back holding my muscles/tissue back together and then on the outside I had staples. They didn't want the incision to open up so they closed with staples and left those in for appx. two weeks (plus it looks so much better, save for the top portion will have to consult with a plastic surgeon in a year for that one). After all the staples were out they used steri-strips. And yes, the rods are used to hold the spine in place while fusion occurs. I still have my hardware intact!

[HGD24]

I had only steri-strips on the outside of my incision...and thank goodness. There was just something about the thought of having staples in my body that sent chills up and down....my surgeon and I talked about this and he said that he only used steri-strips to close incisions. He took them out at the 3 week mark and my scar looks amazing...you can hardly see it! I think it's up to the surgeon and what they are most comfortable using.