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Thread: Scoliosis and marriage

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    3

    Post Scoliosis and marriage

    I wanted to ask all married women with scoliosis. Has you having scoliosis affected your relationship with your husband in any way? Emotionally, physically, sexually or in any other way?

    Mari

  2. #2
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    Sep 2003
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    Fernley, Nevada
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    Mari81,

    I've been married for 20+ years with moderately severe scoli. Had Harringtions in the '80's. Then A/P surgery in 2001. My curves now are 40T/75L. To answer your question no it hasn't effected my marriage in anyway.
    SandyC

  3. #3
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    Sep 2003
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    Fernley, Nevada
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    Mari81,
    This is just a P.S. to the above.......

    I had 2 childern/had vaginal births with both without problems. Now the proud grandmother of 2
    SandyC

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Grand Rapids, MI
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    313

    No problems until you get older

    I have had a severe double curve treated only by a brace since a teen-ager. It definitely didn't interfere with pregnancies, although there was pain, fatigue, and some muscle spasms in the lower back towards the end of the pregnancy, but many normal women also get that.

    I had no problem with all 3 of my deliveries; other than a sore tailbone after my second son was born.

    As far as sexually, I have had to be careful with positions as sometimes they can start up muscle spasms or pain, but you learn to work around it and find what is ok for you.

    My problem is now that my kids are older, I have developed severe Sciatic Joint pain (probably from the scoliosis), and have to get pain injections if I want to keep walking and be able to go places and keep up with them.

    You will also have to watch your children (especially girls) for signs of scoliosis as it runs in families. My daughter (14) has a very mild one which does not require treatment.

    I would say if you need surgery to get it either before you start your family or wait until they are all grown and fairly independent like mine.

    Don't listen to people who say it will handicap you for having a family.

    Deb

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3

    Smile I appreciate it!

    Sandy and Deb,

    Thank you both for sharing your experiences with me. The truth is that I am a little scared about what some of my doctors have told me about giving birth. Just recently my orthopedic doctor told me that I would very likely need a c-section to deliver and I believed him. I don't really know the degree of my scoliosis but I do know that it's mild, I've never had to wear a brace and I have never had any pain due to it.
    Reading your stories has given me hope that I might be able to deliver vaginally one day. I also have a fear that it might cause problems in my marriage but it hasn't so far, so I am happy about that.

    And Deb, I will take your advice and not listen to people who say it will handicap me from having a family.

    Thank you guys!!

    Mari

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    NJ
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    1,291

    Talking scoliosis=C-section???

    Who ever told you that you would need a c/s is wrong, wrong, wrong.

    Last year I did an extensive literature search for an OB/gyn doctor I give anesthesia for.
    The only indications for a caesarian section are the obstetrical ones that have nothing to do with the back. For example the baby's head is too big, problems with the placenta, failure for labor to progress to name a few.

    On the other hand if the back is very deformed it might be difficult to place the epidural or do a spinal. I actually was given a spinal for a D&C before my revision. I was only fused to L-2(40 deg lumbar curve then) so they put the spinal below that. The only problem was it didn't work and I had to get general anesthesia.

    My suggestion is, when you decide to have your babies, go to a large university hospital where they know better.

    Karen
    Original scoliosis surgery 1956 T-4 to L-2 ~100 degree thoracic (triple)curves at age 14. NO hardware-lost correction.
    Anterior/posterior revision T-4 to Sacrum in 2002, age 60, by Dr. Boachie-Adjei @Hospital for Special Surgery, NY = 50% correction

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    7

    Lots of experience in my family

    I have scoliosis that wasn't found until I was an adult, and only because of a "spine screening" at the state fair. I have had two children, one nine pounds 12 oz. (c section for reasons not related to scoliosis) and the second at 10 pounds 2 oz. (VBAC, to the consternation of my OB/Gyn, who didn't think the baby was that big!) Neither pregnancy bothered my back at all.

    My best friend wore a body cast for her scoliosis (back in the pre-brace era). Her son was over 11 pounds...no back problems.

    My niece wore a Boston Brace for two years. She's had two healthy pregnancies (and luckily more typically-sized babies) and no problems.

    Labor and delivery are never a breeze...that's why they call it labor, right? But scoliosis does not necessarily mean complications.

    I should add that my own daughter is wearing a Boston Brace right now, so it does run in families and that's one thing to check.
    Last edited by Lia_s_mom; 12-06-2005 at 07:51 PM.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    4
    In response to Mari81. Scoliosis hasn't affected my marridge, either. I have two healthy children who I had with a c-section(not related to scoliosis). Please don't let anyone scare you.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Nashville, TN
    Posts
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by fmoinuk
    In response to Mari81. Scoliosis hasn't affected my marridge, either. I have two healthy children who I had with a c-section(not related to scoliosis). Please don't let anyone scare you.

    I had two 53* (recently fused) curves and my ob told me with both pregnancies that I could have vaginal deliveries. We did not know at the time that they curve was that severe. They did have difficulty getting the needle in, as my spine wasn't where it should have been, but it worked with my first son and i had no complications whatsoever. With my 2nd child, I had increased back pain after my first child, so I was concerned I wouldn't be able to get another epidural. My ob scheduled an appointment with me with the anethesist to ease my fears and assured me they would try (there are never any guarantees it will work anyway). It was a fast labor and he came before she could get the needle in. Believe me, I didn't intend for it to happen that way, but I lived through it with again, no complications. Don't let them scare you. As you watch them grow, you seem to forget the pain
    Jennlynn
    Mother of 2 boys, ages 4 & 2
    Fused L5-T5.
    Curve 68* & 53* pre-op, 39 & 37 post.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    3
    I have a question. did you (who are married) tell your husband that you had scoliosis before you got married? If so what was his reaction?

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    NJ across from NYC
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    329
    I told my then boyfriend about it after a few months of dating (1980) as I couldn't hide my discomfort anymore. I then became engaged and had my surgery three months later; spent nine months in a body cast and got married five months after it was removed (1982). He was and is the most supportive man I have ever met. When my back acted up years later, he would say "we got it fixed the first time and we'll get it fixed again". Come April, we'll be married 24 years! LYNN
    1981 Surgery with Harrington Rod; fused from T2 to L3 - Dr.Keim (at 26 years old)
    2000 Partial Rod Removal
    2001 Right Scapular Resection
    12/07/2010 Surgical stabilization L3 through sacrum with revision harrington rod instrumentation, interbody fusion and pre-sacral fusion L5-S1 - Dr. Boachie (at 56 years old)
    06/11/14 - Posterior cervical fusion C3 - T3 (Mountaineer System) due to severely arthritic joints - Dr. Patrick O'Leary (at age 59)

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    massachusets
    Posts
    13
    I must say that DH has a lot of demands on him that I feel guilty about, but he is fine with. he takes care of the vcuuming now. He also totes the laundry up and down the 3 flights of stairs (we live in a large old victorian with a basement laundry) He unloads the groceries from the car and gives the younger kid a bath because those things tend to bother me. I also cannot get comfortable in his mustang but We just take the mini van when we go places together.

    He gets angry when he comes home and finds that I have dine those things and want's to make sure my back is still good to go when we are 50.

    SOme physical positions are difficult but we work it out and are OK. If this is the only issue a marriage has then you are doing better than most.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Southeastern US
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    57
    Quote Originally Posted by Karen Ocker
    Who ever told you that you would need a c/s is wrong, wrong, wrong.
    I agree totally.

    A large number of c-sections are unnecessary-- they're just done to cover the hospital and/or doctor's (_I_) if something goes wrong. Scoliosis isn't a good enough reason for a c-section.

    As an aside, the best thing to do, regardless of where you go for delivery, is to choose your doctor carefully (referrals are the best way) and make sure you do your homework first. The more informed patient tends to get much better care. Make sure your doctor listens to you and doesn't either cut you off before you have had your say or ignores everything you've said. I've found that printing out research articles from journals works well (at least just the abstracts).

    Don't let them intimidate you. Most people treat MDs like they're gods. They're just human beings (with medical training). Most of them have a large enough patient load that they don't have the time and energy to thoroughly research a case before making a diagnosis or treatment decision. You have to do some of the homework yourself.
    28 degrees cervicothoracic, 34 degrees thoracolumbar, not diagnosed until age 34. Get yourself and your children screened early!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Morpeth, Northumberland
    Posts
    194
    Hi
    Just to say if, for any reason, you do have to have a ceasarian, it's really not the end of the world so don't get too hung up about it. The most important thing is that mother and baby come out of healthy - don't let anyone feed you any nonsense about it ruining your ability to bond with your baby or suchlike.

    Lorrie

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    near Philadelphia
    Posts
    1,260
    Just to chime in -- my husband could care less about my deformity -- thinks I'm cute anyway (his body isn't perfect, either - lol).

    Something Karen said struck me, though -- we also adopted our daughter because I aso had antibodies against my husband. I've read somewhere that there CAN BE a link between infertility and scoliosis -- has anyone else heard of this?

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