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Thread: I hate scoliosis-help me, I'm confused : (

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    England
    Posts
    58

    I hate scoliosis-help me, I'm confused : (

    Hi I have scoliosis and I hate it! I get sick of trying to cover it up and always worrying about what I can and can't wear, in case people notice, and even if people don't notice i feel like they do. It doesn't even matter to me sometimes whether other ppl notice or not, but it's the fact that I notice it every single time i look in the mirror. I hate everything about it, it makes me feel so unattractive and grossed out! So I just think that that's what other ppl must think too. I get jealous of everyone just for having a normal back and straight spine and even waistline and flat back! I feel so stupid though, because what a thing to be jealous of! But i can't help the way that i feel. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't think my scoliosis is bad enough to need surgery, but I don't know how much longer I can live with it, but I don't know whether it's sensible to consider having surgery because what if something went wrong, or it didn't improve my appearance, would it be worth it? Sorry to go on like this, but I really needed to talk to someone who could understand where I'm coming from. Please someone write back. I need help -x-

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    North Carolina!!
    Posts
    14
    hi! i replied to your other thread, and i just want to say that you ARE NOT ugly! scoliosis does tend to make you feel that ways sumtimes (trust me, i know!) and you just wish that it would disapear and you could have a perfectly straight back and get back to being normal. well, scoliosis is definitely not about being normal! but remember, everything happens for a reason, and you will find out why scoliosis has become apart of you!
    luv your scoliosis!
    §BrIaNn§
    Last edited by LilSkittlehunni; 09-24-2005 at 11:02 PM. Reason: typo! lol!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    12
    Hey, I used to feel the same way! I hated covering up my brace and I felt stupid and ugly. But over time I relized that I have nothing to be jelous of. No matter if you wear a brace or what you look like, that doesn't change who you are! You just have to learn to not care so much about what others think. If you just be yourself, you'll be surprised! People won't take your scoli as something terrible...becuase they'll see this strong girl who manages to deal with it instead. You are going to be so much stronger when this is all behind you, so just live in the day. Other peoples opinions don't really matter in the long run.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    35

    I'm beginning to feel the same way

    Hi,

    I have to get a brace @ the end of October. I am now starting to realize that it will limit me on what i can/cannot wear. So, i know how you feel too .

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    4

    Wink

    Don't worry about your scoliosis. I am a girl who's 17 and I wore a brace for a year and I went to school with it. nobody realised about that and if someone did they were very comprenhensive. You don't have to think that you are ugly because you're not, and just think about people who have cancer of those sort of illneses... I think that scoliosis is nothing compared with that and I know that you will be able to learn to live with your scoliosis, just think of scoliosis as a partner and in a few time you will not think as you do now.
    Bye!
    Excuse me for my English but I am from Spain and I never speak it

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    9
    Hi Rincotato,

    I understand what you are feeling. i have felt like that since I was 13. I am now 27. Believe me you learn to accept it. Also most people do not notice it except if you point it out. I learnt to adjust my shoulders and practiced ways of standing in the mirror.

    Wear what it is you feel comfy in do not worry about what you look like. It is not the outside but the inside that counts. Also see a specialist and they will advise you on the best way to go with it.

    as for the guys on this website they are great and will give the support that you need to get through this.

    Stay blessed.

    A
    Last edited by Amaka; 10-12-2005 at 09:14 AM.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Erie PA
    Posts
    49
    Dufineta, your English was excellent, I didn't even think that english was your second language until you said so!

    how are things going for you lately, rincoto? Remember that you're your toughest critic
    I'm Karin. I had surgery for my scoliosis on October 13, 2005, and am doing well! I formerly wore a providence brace and did PT for treatment.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    4

    Smile

    Hey Scoliogirl!
    English is not our second language, in fact it is my third language because I am from a region of Spain called Catalonia (Barcelona) and I usually speak Catalan, I know Spanish and I am still learning English but I have to improve a lot! I was really happy to find that forum because I don't know many people with scoliosis and it helps me to not feel different.
    Bye!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Woodbridge, Va (near Washington, D.C.) USA
    Posts
    6

    Old lady here (taking a deep breath)...

    Okay, I'm 33 years old and was diagnosed when I was about 11. I wore a Milwaukee brace for 3 years, then had Harrington Rod surgery when I was 16 and 18 years old. I haven't been able to post to this site for a few months due to home/car repair issues, but I have really missed it. If I have missed anything pertaining to this particular issue, I apologize. However, I feel strongly about replying here.

    Obviously, I hate scoliosis with a passion, and I have dealt with every conceivable feeling as far as body image, bracing, and surgery go. There is nothing I can say that will make this situation easier for Rincotato or anyone else who has posted here. However, I have been given much through support, so I know it is valuable and necessary.

    You are all beautiful, despite how you feel and what you see in the mirror. I know how that sounds, but it's true. Every man, woman, and child, is perfection, despite what the mirror, doctors, or measurements say. I just have to post that.

    I just finished reading a bunch of posts about bracing and whether it's worthy or not, in part because of the individual and national costs.

    I wore a brace for three years, which my parents paid a load of money for. And it didn't work. However, it was worth every single cent because the subsequent two surgeries were absolutely hell to endure. Attempting to stop my curvature was necessary.

    My brace was expensive...but necessary. My surgeries were expensive, but absolutely necessary. And my follow-up care is expensive, but totally necessary.

    Please, please, please don't measure the care of these scoliosis patients in dollars and cents. I realize that I live in the US, where medical may be different from where you are. But know that I am a mother. I am keeping in mind how much my parents sacrificed, how much I may sacrifice for my children, and how much others sacrifice so much more on a daily basis for their precious children.

    None of you are alone. Scoliosis is real...it is expensive...it is something we all care about. You are not alone.
    Mylinda

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    3

    Thumbs up

    Hi, I totally understand where you are coming from with respect to looking in the mirror and not liking what you see and feeling self conscious. I did for many years and had to deal both with the physical and the psychological issues surrounding it. It was hard when I was a teenager since we are so hard on ourselves at that age trying to 'fit in'. DON'T try to fit in. Be yourself. It took me a long time to realize that one!

    I had my surgery when I was 11. My curve was so advanced that a brace would not be effective. It was a long time ago, so I missed my grade 7 year, you know that year when all the 'cliques' are formed and stuff! I had to be on a Stryker Frame for 6 weeks, then a brace for 9 months, so it was not easy. I missed an entire year of school (fortunately, I had a tutor, so I got my year anyways). But, returning to school and my friends was not easy. I was self conscious of my condition. I could not do the sports and things that I wanted to, so I felt left out and different and I could not wear certain clothes since it showed things too much.

    But, that is all behind me now. It took a lot of years (26 to be exact!), but I have finally realized that I am a super person who can do amazing things despite this thing called Scoliosis. I have a wonderful job, a wonderful relationship and I am a competitive age group athlete in sports. Sometimes, it is hard to not let on like I have a problem that causes daily pain, but I will not let it stop me in the least. This is something that you have. It is the hand you were dealt and the best thing any of us can do, is play that hand the best way we can. I refuse to feel sorry or self conscious any more. I know that I am smart, I am beautiful, I am athletic and that people look up to me for what I have done, and not for what I have wrong with me.

    So, in short, be the best you can be. You are wonderful and don't ever let other people tell you that you are not. Yes, there will be times when the condition is incredibly frustrating, but don't ever let it beat you! Keep your chin up and go out there and take on that world! It's there waiting for you!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    St.Vincent
    Posts
    19

    Thumbs up

    Hi everyone i am new here, so if i make mistakes please over look (lol). I was diagnosed with scoliosis at age eight i am now 24, my curves are 70 and 50 degrees and i am seriously thinking about surgery now, i think mainly because i cant stand how i look, i need to do something to change that. i will not be able to have the surgery done in my counrty and i will have to travel overseas, can anyone give me an idea of the cost for surgery in their country, it would really help. thanks

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Returning to Saturn
    Posts
    11
    you're definately not ugly! what i try to do when i feel bad about bracing and all that is to think of all the good things. ex:

    1. you learn a lot more about spinal/medical-type conditions than you would otherwise
    2. the brace is keeping you from surgery
    3. think of all the awesome tricks you can play on people when you have a brace!!! (if you're a mischievous type of person...like me )

    dufineta~ you're english was definately really really good. as in like i didn't even know it was your 3rd language until you said so. how long have you been studying English?
    laura
    ME!
    homeschooled freshman
    i am obsessed with competitive policy debate!

    MY SCOLI!!!
    diagnosed June, 2005

    curves 34*T and 32*L
    wearing a Boston brace
    at least 20 hours a day
    next appt. in a month

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    22
    Hi, I'm Erika and I speaking from the point of view of someone who just had a second surgery, DO NOT HAVE SURGERY UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTLY HAVE TO. It will not change the way you look, and the things that could go wrong are not worth looks, if you absolutly have to them obviously you have no choice but if there is anyway around it don't do it.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    1,291
    It changed the way I looked immensel y. My shoulders and hips were even--though everything else was swollen.

    What happened to YOU???

    If you just had surgery it's too soon to tell.
    Original scoliosis surgery 1956 T-4 to L-2 ~100 degree thoracic (triple)curves at age 14. NO hardware-lost correction.
    Anterior/posterior revision T-4 to Sacrum in 2002, age 60, by Dr. Boachie-Adjei @Hospital for Special Surgery, NY = 50% correction

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    England
    Posts
    56
    I tend to worry about that too. I try to wear swimming costumes to the minimum and if I wear tight clothes then they have to be black or patterned.

    I don't give three monkeys is people notice my scoliosis now, if they do then fair enough, I'll get the disabled seat at the front of the bus every time I visit my boyfriend lol.
    Adolescent Idiopathic Thoracic Lumbar Scoliosis

    Back Pain started in October 2001
    Diagnosed - June 2003

    Thoracic and Lumbar curves- 37 degrees
    Started Hospital examination - June 2003
    Discharged from hospital - November 2006

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