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Thread: UHG!! How can you stand the wait~~ when you're falling apart?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    346

    UHG!! How can you stand the wait~~ when you're falling apart?

    How can I stand this waiting? I have to take the Forteo drug at least 6 months before we schedule the surgery. I have gone down hill since my appt. with Dr. Perra the 8th of Sept. I am so uncomfortable, bent over at least 45 degrees. I am still with a walker, but some days I'm ready for a wheelchair, as the walker helps, but basically I'm holding myself up with my arms, and that takes strength. I am and have been isolated forever it seems. I should be ashamed of myself for complaining. I guess I just need a shoulder to cry on. And what's hard are the Holidays are coming up soon! I can't do anything anymore, as far as baking and putting on a dinner. I have all boys(they're married) and their wives don't cook, or think about helping. You know what they say:"A daughter is a daughter for life, but a son is a son till he finds a wife." And it is sooo true in my case. It's mostly their wives familes that take presidence. Sad but true~~ Boo-hoo~~I will quit now. I will hopefully be walking straight next year at this time. I had a bone density test done before I saw Dr. Perra, and it was good. Only thing they could only do my right wrist. As my spine had too much metal and I couldn't lay right to check the hips. But Dr. Perra ordered a mylogram and cat scan and said the cat scan showed evidence of osteoporosis. Hmmm~~that's why I'm on Forteo. It's suppose to build bone fast. Well, I will keep posting. (smiles) I really need this place to lay my shoulder on. I wish you all a good evening and Sweet Dreams~~~boomer

    2006: double interbody instramental fusion L3/4 L4/5 (Rapid City Spine Center)
    2010(July1st) Fusion from T10 to pelvis (Sanford Orthopedic Center, Sioux Falls,S.D.)
    2010(Oct20th)(revision) extention to T2 "OSTEOTOMY" at L3.
    2011(June7th) Removal of illiac bolts left and right
    Am now waiting to schedule revision surgery with Dr. Perra at Twin City Spine Center
    Presently taking bone building drug "Forteo"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia
    Posts
    3,261
    It's times like this, that this forum comes in very handy. Especially late at night when you're lying awake, worrying. Even if there's nothing anyone can do but listen, it helps I think, to write it down. And knowing others who understand, will listen.

    For me and some others, it was the waiting that was hardest of all. This is the case for you especially, because you urgently need surgery but have to wait to build up your bones.

    I'm sorry to hear that a son's a son until he takes a wife but tend to agree as I've seen it happen in various families. I tend to think that communication is vital and if you have a reasonable relationship with your sons, perhaps you could have a word with them, explaining how vulnerable you are feeling right now and would appreciate some help coming up to the holidays? Just a thought. Would this work, do you think? Often, we women tend to be just a wee bit too independent and not ask for help. During my recovery, I learned to do so when necessary and I think it's helped all round.

    The grandkids still dive to pick things up for me even though it's been unnecessary for some time. I think it's a nice thing for them to do, to care for someone. Today, we let our kids be selfish and they think the world revolves around them, forgetting others. Not saying yours do, but often that's the case. But perhaps we aren't giving them that opportunity to lend a helping hand.

    Take care Boomer.
    Surgery March 3, 2009 at almost 58, now 63.
    Dr. Askin, Brisbane, Australia
    T4-Pelvis, Posterior only
    Osteotomies and Laminectomies
    Was 68 degrees, now 22 and pain free

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    918
    Waiting is definitely tough especially when you're in pain so I feel your frustration. I wasn't the one in pain, it was my son but it hurt me so much watching him suffer like he did so it's somewhat the same I guess. I don't do Christmas so it's always easy for me but maybe you could just skip it this year or keep it really really simple. Feel free to vent all you like. We are listening.
    Son 14 y/o diagnosed January 20th. 2011 with 110* Curve
    Halo Traction & 1st. surgery on March 22nd. 2011
    Spinal Fusion on April 19th. 2011

    Dr. Krajbich @ Shriners Childrens Hospital, Portland Oregon



    http://tinyurl.com/Elias-Before
    http://tinyurl.com/Elias-After

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2010
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    346
    Quote Originally Posted by Elisa View Post
    Waiting is definitely tough especially when you're in pain so I feel your frustration. I wasn't the one in pain, it was my son but it hurt me so much watching him suffer like he did so it's somewhat the same I guess. I don't do Christmas so it's always easy for me but maybe you could just skip it this year or keep it really really simple. Feel free to vent all you like. We are listening.
    Thanks Elisa~~you know, it sounds like a great idea to keep it really simple. Hope you're son is better now. Did he have surgery? Sending healing thought for him~~boomer

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    6,802
    Hi...

    I think the wait definitely gets harder once you've set a date. Maybe it's because we focus on the problem more than before.

    Last year for Thanksgiving, I didn't invite over the usual crowd. Instead, I made a very simple dinner for just myself and one other person. He's a meat and potatoes kind of guy, so it was pretty simple, although it was still pretty painful. For Christmas last year, I accepted an invitation to go elsewhere. I've always been the cook among my friends, so it was a little difficult to accept, in the end it was definitely the right decision. The way most people deal with increasing pain is to reduce function. That's easier said than done, but it's the price we pay. Even if you end up staying home by yourself and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, it's only for the short term. Today, I'm pretty much pain free, and have celebrated by entertaining a lot. At the moment, I'm waiting for some friends to arrive by brunch. What happened in the year before my revision surgery is now just a silly memory.

    Hang in there.e

    Regards,
    Linda
    Never argue with an idiot. They always drag you down to their level, and then they beat you with experience. --Dilbert
    I'm sarcastic... what's your super power? --Unknown
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Surgery 2/10/93 A/P fusion T4-L3
    Surgery 1/20/11 A/P fusion L2-sacrum w/pelvic fixation
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    If you've signed up and are having trouble posting, please check your spam folder. An email was sent to the email address which you subscribed. You have to follow the instructions in that email. Done that and still having trouble posting? Contact Joe O'Brien at jpobrien@scoliosis.org.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    346
    Quote Originally Posted by JenniferG View Post
    It's times like this, that this forum comes in very handy. Especially late at night when you're lying awake, worrying. Even if there's nothing anyone can do but listen, it helps I think, to write it down. And knowing others who understand, will listen.

    For me and some others, it was the waiting that was hardest of all. This is the case for you especially, because you urgently need surgery but have to wait to build up your bones.

    I'm sorry to hear that a son's a son until he takes a wife but tend to agree as I've seen it happen in various families. I tend to think that communication is vital and if you have a reasonable relationship with your sons, perhaps you could have a word with them, explaining how vulnerable you are feeling right now and would appreciate some help coming up to the holidays? Just a thought. Would this work, do you think? Often, we women tend to be just a wee bit too independent and not ask for help. During my recovery, I learned to do so when necessary and I think it's helped all round.

    The grandkids still dive to pick things up for me even though it's been unnecessary for some time. I think it's a nice thing for them to do, to care for someone. Today, we let our kids be selfish and they think the world revolves around them, forgetting others. Not saying yours do, but often that's the case. But perhaps we aren't giving them that opportunity to lend a helping hand.

    Take care Boomer.
    You are so right on about asking for help. I have trouble with it , but I have looked in to hiring a housekeeper when I am recovering. I should have her now. My husband helps, but he is pretty lost when it comes to certain things! (smiles) He's always been right by my side through all the surgeries. And is a pretty good advocate for me. I am going to try your idea and talk to the family about this year's Holidays. I think you are sooo right about letting our kids be selfish. I am guilty! Thanks so much for listeneing and caring~~~boomer

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    1,291

    Lightbulb Physically unable to cook for Holidays? My solution.

    I had that situation in 2009-not from my back- but because my 93year old mom was in her home 80 miles away on Hospice. I was running back and forth managing caretakers and still working part-time(I was 68). I ordered a complete Thanksgiving Dinner from Kings supermarket. We just heated everything up. It was delicious and since my mom was still able to eat she enjoyed it too.

    There is nothing cast in stone which says we have to do it all.
    Original scoliosis surgery 1956 T-4 to L-2 ~100 degree thoracic (triple)curves at age 14. NO hardware-lost correction.
    Anterior/posterior revision T-4 to Sacrum in 2002, age 60, by Dr. Boachie-Adjei @Hospital for Special Surgery, NY = 50% correction

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    918
    Quote Originally Posted by babyboomer16 View Post
    Thanks Elisa~~you know, it sounds like a great idea to keep it really simple. Hope you're son is better now. Did he have surgery? Sending healing thought for him~~boomer
    My son had two surgeries: First one on March 22/11 and the second one on April 19/11 with halo traction in between. He'll be having his 6 month checkup next Thursday. He is doing really well so far, thanks for asking.

    I like Karen's idea of ordering the turkey dinner!
    Son 14 y/o diagnosed January 20th. 2011 with 110* Curve
    Halo Traction & 1st. surgery on March 22nd. 2011
    Spinal Fusion on April 19th. 2011

    Dr. Krajbich @ Shriners Childrens Hospital, Portland Oregon



    http://tinyurl.com/Elias-Before
    http://tinyurl.com/Elias-After

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    346
    Quote Originally Posted by LindaRacine View Post
    Hi...

    I think the wait definitely gets harder once you've set a date. Maybe it's because we focus on the problem more than before.

    Last year for Thanksgiving, I didn't invite over the usual crowd. Instead, I made a very simple dinner for just myself and one other person. He's a meat and potatoes kind of guy, so it was pretty simple, although it was still pretty painful. For Christmas last year, I accepted an invitation to go elsewhere. I've always been the cook among my friends, so it was a little difficult to accept, in the end it was definitely the right decision. The way most people deal with increasing pain is to reduce function. That's easier said than done, but it's the price we pay. Even if you end up staying home by yourself and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, it's only for the short term. Today, I'm pretty much pain free, and have celebrated by entertaining a lot. At the moment, I'm waiting for some friends to arrive by brunch. What happened in the year before my revision surgery is now just a silly memory.

    Hang in there.e

    Regards,
    Linda
    Hi Linda, I seem to be getting pretty much the same answer to my dillema, and so I know what I have to do about the Holidays. I really don't have any choice anymore. Today was a kinda bad day. I am starting to lean more to the front and REALLY leaning over to the right. So my ribs are crashing into my hip and pushing into my stomach and lung. Very uncomfortable. I am taking the Forteo faithfully. But until I take it six mo. at least, he won't schedule the surgery. I do need to let him know about the ribs and how bad it's getting. The ribs on my left side are protruding out. I have a several pinched nerves in the lower left buttocks area. He is going to go in through my stomach unlike the other surgeon. I guess he does TLIF(?) procedures sometimes. (going in from the back and reaching around to the front) But feels he need to do both anterior incision and posterior on me. Probably a week apart. It all sounds good, I think. Several osteotomies are planned. I have probably told all this to you already, but sometimes it just helps to repeat it to someone.(smiles) And I think you told me it sound about right to you. This just has to work. I guess the Forteo should help too. I wonder if it hasn't started to build bone already the way my ribs feel.(and hips)Thanks for your support as always~~glad to hear you are doing well!! Warmest Blessings to you~~~boomer

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