Realistic expectations

[judyat60]

Foam Toppers question

yes lots of great suggestions, thanks to you all for repeating what was said months ago but is now more critical to me personally.. alarms clocks for meds, electric plugs table height, silk Pajamas (now that's not a tough one to accept!)…all things I wouldn't think of….sigh. I actually woke up at 7 am this morning and said 'next week at this time i will be driving into NYC for my surgery." wow did that come out of no where…and I quickly put it out of my mind.

so my question about toppers: I have a soft bed…is soft good for after surgery? or conversely, will a foam topper work on a soft bed to give it more support?
judy

[leahdragonfly]

Hi Judy,

you've gotten a lot of good advice so far. I wanted to comment about the bed. I have a very nice Tempurpedic bed, but it was way too soft and unsupportive for me after surgery. I had a hospital bed waiting for me when I got home, and my family put it in the living room (in front of the TV), so I could lay down and watch, and also to be near everyone downstairs. I slept on the hospital bed for at least 6 weeks, at which point I was able to go back to my bed. The hospital bed was good because it was very supportive. I kept several pillows for behind my back, then a head pillow on each end. The blankets were not tucked at either end. It was very painful/difficult for me to roll over in bed to change sides, so what I would do was log-roll/pivot up to a sit, then pivot (without twisting) back with my head facing the other direction. This worked great for me.

Also, it can't be said enough that you will need to take stool softeners and laxatives every day for awhile, especially while on narcotics. I would have a supply of that at home. There is plenty of info about this in a thread titled, I think, "constipation."

BTW, I did not need any wiping aids, I was able to manage this fine. I did use baby wipes for awhile as they seemed to do a better job.

As for shaving, yes, you can bend at the hips, but it will be painful to lean forward at all for awhile, you probably lean forward at least some when you do this. I got my legs waxed right before, as Melissa suggested, and it lasted some weeks. You will not care at all for at least a week how your legs look anyway!

Good luck, and please let us know how things are going.

[JenniferG]

For me, the ideal sleeping surface was firm but with a foam topper.

Just wanted to wish you well for your final and most gruelling week and I hope that you reach that stage of calmness and acceptance that so many of us do. It certainly makes it easier in the last day or two.

[djkinkead]

Another Best Practice: Keep a medicine log-notebook by your bed

My husband reminded me of this tonight....

Get a tiny little notebook and keep it by your bed and log everytime you take your meds. I divided each page into three columns. Time first column, amount of first medicine in second column and amount of second medicine in third column. Only write in the log right after you take the meds.

Now, if you set alarms to take your meds, maybe you wouldn't need a log--I didn't do any alarms (I hate them so use them minimally), so I depended on when I happened to wake up (which was usually within an hour of when I needed to take a med), and then recorded what I took.

[Kayde]

This is so good.

I went to jcpenny and got another memory topper and some satin sheets and two pairs of silky pj's. Got on amazon and got the bed rail and I got another pack of razors and more paint sticks to glue onto. I don't think I had enough. I got a butt buddy and after sitting in my corner seat in the shower I think I may need the shower chair after all. I have everything electronic on remote control and I have brought my mini fridge upstairs. Got my laptop, signed up for netfixs and downloaded all the angry bird versions. My mailman knows and has agreed to bring my mail to the door so I don't have to go to the mailbox. I think I will spend the next weekend making food and putting into the food saver bags so I can just heat up water in a pan and heat up my food. Love the food saver- had forgotten about that since all my kids are grown and away. So i can make a menu All the suggestions have been really awesome. I cleared out most of my rooms to make sure nothing is in the floor and a walker can get thru. Button and zip up shirts. Better pain med times and alarms preset so I don't forget lots of sweatpants and bills on autopay as much as I can. The last thing i need to do is miss a bill or worse pay it twice. Short term disability only pays a portion of my salary. My job has been great though about letting me work from home as long as i need to so I won't have to ride the hour and a half each way to work for a few months. LOVE the suggestions.

[judyat60]

thank you all for reality checks

Since my surgery date is approaching and I've been hunkered down doing the paperwork and bills in advance, and going through the pre-op visits, I've been getting a bit more nervous…it is really going to happen and soon…5 days

While I am not as organized as Kayde (I am sooo impressed) another avenue appeared for me to get the things I need during recovery.

So what's been happening: friends and ex-colleagues have been calling to wish me luck, take me out for a drink or dinner…wow, have I needed this. Keeps me distracted and less focused to be nervous. I guess it's partly my age, but many folks I know have had hip or knee surgery already, so while talking to them supplies have appeared: 3 friends have provided me with the shower seat, raised toilet, sock assist, 3 grabbers, a back sponge thing, and a stick with a cup hook on one end and a u-ey hook type thing on the other (don't know what that is for, she had taped a razor to it)…all the things I would have waited to purchase. And they are all asking to be put on a list to help. wow, I feel so so fortunate!
I do need to purchase the memory topper and possibly hospital bed rental and get my music prepared…and then I sort of feel I'm done for now. the odds and ends of electric plugs, meds notebooks, etc will be my caretakers jobs…again, I am very lucky!

It reminds me of when I had my first baby, I didn't need to purchase anything, all my friends loaned me their baby items…boy, opposite ends of life, huh? baby walkers and adult walkers...Ironic…

I am trying to remain calm as I have been to now, which sounds opposite of many of you.
thank you all for yor support,
Judy

[Kayde]

Baby items.

Omg Judy I was thinking when I purchased the wet wipes, the walker, the depends and putting things at eye level that it was like preparing for when I had my children. Lol. I don't feel very organized..I just dont have much support to help me so I'm trying to prepare so I don't worry so much. Must be a strange sort of nesting Got some disturbing news today that I have to be fused to L4. Makes it more difficult. There were so many wonderful suggestions. I just hope the hospital will let me plug in my iPad and my blackberry so I can at least feel that I am connected to the world. I will be happy when I can get back to work and feel normal and not so distracted by the what if's.

[golfnut]

Kayde,
I wouldn't think you would need Depends. I don't know of anyone who has needed them. I recommend Flushable Wipes. I about made myself crazy with all of my "what if" thoughts before surgery. Fortunately, my recovery was so much smoother than I ever hoped it could be. I had plenty of good books and Netflix movies as well as music on my Ipod.

[LindaRacine]

Omg Judy I was thinking when I purchased the wet wipes, the walker, the depends and putting things at eye level that it was like preparing for when I had my children. Lol. I don't feel very organized..I just dont have much support to help me so I'm trying to prepare so I don't worry so much. Must be a strange sort of nesting Got some disturbing news today that I have to be fused to L4. Makes it more difficult. There were so many wonderful suggestions. I just hope the hospital will let me plug in my iPad and my blackberry so I can at least feel that I am connected to the world. I will be happy when I can get back to work and feel normal and not so distracted by the what if's.

You might want to check with the hospital about having your cellphone and iPad with you. Most hospitals don't supply secure storage. I had planned to get my iPhone from a friend once I was out of the fog. By the time I was out of the fog, it was time to leave the hospital. So, if I'd have had my phone with me, I would never have used it anyway. I don't think I ever even turned on the TV.

[judyat60]

One of my main concerns in the hospital and home was remaining calm, meditative, and relaxed during recovery. Since music has such great impact on my psyche during normal times, I thought if I loaded more soothing classical, jazz, etc to an IPod,that it would help me through. Is this over-thinking what my condition will really feel like? Will I be in such a fog with drugs etc, that time goes, and you are simply in a 'suspended state' recuperating? I don't expect to be forcused enough to 'work' or be socializing.

[golfnut]

Judy,
I just asked my husband and he said I didn't listen to my iPod in the hospital. I talked to a few people who called me, but not too coherently according to him. I don't even think I watched tv. I was glad that I spent quite a bit of time downloading lots of my favorite songs and CD's onto my IPod. It made my indoor walking laps not quite so boring. I know this sounds pretty corny, but I downloaded "Feeling Stronger Every Day" and "I Will Survive.". I was also bound and determined that i would not get depressed after my surgery and had posted some quotes from David Wolpert's book to read if I needed an attitude adjustment. I had some trouble sleeping when I got home and listened to a relaxation CD.

[paula]

There are only a couple of things I'd add to the above. I had my mom here for 3 weeks after I came home. She's 77, so not real spry, but having company was very nice. She really felt better too. She didn't have to worry about how I was doing since she was right here. And, her presence made my husband feel better about going to work. My college son was also around, and he was great help. You can probably assemble some simple meals, but you'll be surprised at how tired you are.

Stairs were easy for me. I had worried about that before the surgery, but the last three days in the hospital, the PT had me climbing stairs and I was amazed at how well I could do it.

My husband brought my laptop down for me every evening in the hospital. I read some of my email, but I really wasn't coherent enough to do much with it for a few days after the second surgery. I did send my son an email where I had typed with one hand in the wrong position for the whole thing, and didn't even notice. The laptop also seemed immensely heavy. I had gotten a new cell phone a couple of weeks before the surgery and trying to remember how to use it was cognitively demanding.

The first few days sound bad, but you'll be out of it too much to notice. I would take my own pillow to the hospital, and maybe something to go under you in the bed. Those plastic mattress protectors in the hospital make me sweat like a pig.

I have some slip on shoes from Merrell and I've worn them almost every day since the surgery. They are supportive enough for walking, but easy to put on and very comfortable.

And, as others have said, try to put anything you use regularly above waist level. It'll be quite awhile before you can bend over to reach it.

If you can afford it, get a housekeeper for at least a little while. I used Dream Dinners to make and store a few weeks worth of meals before the surgery. If you have some kind of physical problem, they will assemble them for you at no cost, and so we have gotten twelve dinners a month since the surgery and they're really nice to have on days that we're busy, or I'm too tired to cook a meal all myself.

I'm four months out after surgery now, and I feel pretty good, so sometimes, I just forget that I'm going to need help. My husband was out of town for a few days this week, and the first night he was gone, I realized that I couldn't close my windows myself (they're pretty lousy windows). I had to call a neighbor to come and shut them for me at night.

But, within about 6 weeks of the surgery, I had less pain than I had had in about 5 years. I'm very happy with the decision I made.

[judyat60]

thank you all for reality checks

I'm just about set for the surgery in 2 days. The responses to the material needs here have also answered many questions and concerns about the physical challenges, successes and coping skills acquired, as varied as they are.

My feelings have gone from early denial and anger in january, to calm and acceptance to recently some small bouts of fear and anxiety. I now feel strong and ready. You have all gone through this and so can I. It will be tough in the beginning, but I will come through it fine, just as you all have.

My friend took a 'before' picture of my back last night…I have seen the hump in a bending position for the first time! wow…with the pain on the left side, I didn't realize the bulge was actually on the right this whole time…sigh, realizations are still surfacing to me.

Thank you all. It has been an interesting journey thus far, through all of your stories. what an amazing group
Judy

[Doreen1]

I'm just about set for the surgery in 2 days. The responses to the material needs here have also answered many questions and concerns about the physical challenges, successes and coping skills acquired, as varied as they are.

My feelings have gone from early denial and anger in january, to calm and acceptance to recently some small bouts of fear and anxiety. I now feel strong and ready. You have all gone through this and so can I. It will be tough in the beginning, but I will come through it fine, just as you all have.

My friend took a 'before' picture of my back last night…I have seen the hump in a bending position for the first time! wow…with the pain on the left side, I didn't realize the bulge was actually on the right this whole time…sigh, realizations are still surfacing to me.

Thank you all. It has been an interesting journey thus far, through all of your stories. what an amazing group
Judy

I'm praying that your surgeon and his team will be well rested and focused during your surgery, Judy. Also praying for healing and recovery for you. Have you thought of asking someone to post your post-op updates here on the forum for you? Just think, in about 72 hours you'll be on the other side! :-)

Warmly,
Doreen

[golfnut]

Judy,
We 60 year olds are tough. You'll do just fine. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you a successful surgery and smooth recovery. Be sure to post when you are able.