September 9th surgery

[rohrer01]

I just feel so alone. Nobody with me

Melissa

You are NOT alone. You have your kids and your husband there.
They all love you. Learn to trust them with your feelings.
There is a REASON that your daughter came home to YOU to have that baby.
It's called love. Families need to lean on one another for support.
She needed you. Now you need someone.
If your family is part of the problem, then call 211.
Some families don't know how to deal with mental illness and they tend to minimize or make the person feel like they are faking it.
I'm not saying your family is.
But if they are, you need to go outside that circle to get the help you need.
You also need to remember that IF this is a problem in your family, it's not because they don't love you. It's because they don't understand.
Mental illnesses are not understood by the general population. They are made into jokes, and there's nothing funny about them. It's pure ignorance on the part of those that don't suffer.
Your pain can make it worse and your illness can make your pain worse. It can turn into a vicious cycle.
Please pick up the phone and make that call. If it's not 211 in your area, the crisis hotline should be listed in the front of your phone book.

HUGS!

[mabeckoff]

My brother's trial is May 5th so if I start with a psychiatrist, it will not matter as I have to go to NJ

[rohrer01]

My brother's trial is May 5th so if I start with a psychiatrist, it will not matter as I have to go to NJ

Unless you're moving to NJ, there's nothing keeping you from seeing a psychiatrist. They are usually very busy, too, so the time you are gone won't matter. You can get your initial workup any time. Are you going to NJ for the trial? Can you do court by phone? They will often allow that for people who can't travel due to medical conditions. Don't use this as an excuse. Sorry to sound harsh, but that's what it sounds like you are doing. Get the help you need, PLEASE.

HUGS

[JenniferG]

Hoping you've been able to get some help, Melissa. I liked what Jess said, "do what your Mother would want you to do." I think that's good advice. I hope you have reached out for help. I sincerely hope you've found someone who is helping you.

[mabeckoff]

I really want to go to a uci's mental hospital but I am afraid of what will happen if I do not go to NJ for tr trial

[mabeckoff]

I really want to go to a uci's mental hospital but I am afraid of what will happen if I do not go to NJ for tr trial

[rohrer01]

I really want to go to a uci's mental hospital but I am afraid of what will happen if I do not go to NJ for tr trial

If you are in the hospital, they will postpone the trial again. You will have to have your doctor's contact the judge. They can not disclose why you are in the hospital. Your health comes first.

[mabeckoff]

If you are in the hospital, they will postpone the trial again. You will have to have your doctor's contact the judge. They can not disclose why you are in the hospital. Your health comes first.

Really, I think that I will get the courage this week

[Doodles]

Melissa--
I just backed up and read the last few pages here since I have been absent a few weeks. ( I ended up ill myself with a trip to the ER and hospitalized for a couple days with a severe kidney infection, but my problem was a relatively easy fix!) I wish yours was a ton easier. My goodness you have a lot of people giving you a lot of fine ideas for what to do to help yourself through this. No one says any of it is easy at all but I sure hope you are going to make that call. Monday at the latest! It's always good to begin a new beginning on Mondays. (That's when all my diets start.) Do you realize how much all of us are caring about you? You are my #1 reason for checking out the forum every couple weeks. Everyone is trying so hard to find the right words/advice to get you through this. I noticed on the day you had the 5 appts. coming up, you sounded optimistic. Then the bottom sort of drops out on other days. Remember there are better days, but when it doesn't feel like it, you really need to make that 211 call that Rohrer is talking about. That is a starting point. These people know what they are talking about!

I just asked my judge husband about the trial. Do you have a lawyer? Can he/she contact the judge? Can the doctor contact the judge and explain how physically it is impossible for you to go? Often in such cases someone can fly out and get your deposition in CA in person. There is just no excuse for them expecting you to go to NJ. That's nuts.

Anyway, we are all waiting to hear what you find out in the next couple days. Praying that you have a much better week!

Janet

[JenniferG]

Looking for the "like" button on your post Janet. I have long been thinking there must be some other way than getting Melissa to go to NJ. I am so glad there is. Please Melissa, I know you want to get this trial over and done with however you are simply not in a fit state to be flying across the country and attending court. I hope they send someone to speak to you, get a statement, whatever's required or do it by video. But not expecting the impossible of you right now. Thinking of you and hoping, like Janet, that this week will be the start of things getting better for you. (Monday here!)

[mabeckoff]

I think Thursday I will go to UCI mental hospital. I have 3 appts at UCI Wednesday and 1 Thursday AM

[mabeckoff]

The judge told my lawyer that if we do not appear in court, he will rule for my brother. I have had too many date changes.

[rohrer01]

The judge told my lawyer that if we do not appear in court, he will rule for my brother. I have had too many date changes.

If you can't appear via phone or telecom (I can't imagine why not since my ex did in our divorce), then try to have a positive attitude and make some good use of your time while you are there. Try to schedule something fun with someone. Take your hubby or son along or meet up with a friend. Do something to take your mind off of the pain, something interesting to you. Try to turn it into a vacation of sorts. That's what I did when I had to travel cross country for my divorce. It made the trip memorable and actually fun, even though something life altering was taking place.

The better your attitude, the less the pain. The worse your attitude, the worse your pain.

I know this from experience. I had a total meltdown three months ago from a very painful Botox injection series. BUT, the doctor also brought up a personal matter that he didn't know had gone sour. I was so devastated from the personal matter that I could NOT handle the pain. I was literally crying...OUT LOUD...it was embarrassing!

I went back on Monday to have the Botox series again. It hurt almost as much. My muscles weren't quite as tight, but there was definitely a lot of radicular pain during the procedure. I was muttering, ow-ow-ow...breathing heavy, etc. But not one tear shed and no breakdown. However, I did tell the doctor that I HAD to have something in order to endure this the next time. I have a Rx on hold for the next visit.

The point is, I didn't melt down because I didn't have emotional pain. I had nerve pain that rated about an 8. It was a 9.9 last time partially because it was coupled with emotional pain.

Have your lawyer try his best to show up in court with you via phone hook-up or telecom, though. That would be best if you feel you can't travel. Then after the trial, check yourself in as planned. Your brother is no brother. I'm sorry you are related to such a jerk. I guess a lot of families have them.

In the meantime, please keep talking to us here. EVERY DAY. That way we know you are okay.

Much concern, best wishes, and hugs,
Rohrer01

[rohrer01]

I didn't mean to leave your daughter or granddaughter out, BUT babies are hard to travel with. That's why I didn't mention them. But if your daughter can handle it and wants to come along, then I would have fun with them, too.

[mabeckoff]

I have no friends left in NJ. There is a good chance that my husband will be fired because he needs to be in the office the first week of each month but the judge could care less about us. When Paul's lawyer told the court on a Thursday that he could not be in court the next week, the judge gave him what he wanted but he could care less about me. We have no place to stay in NJ, so that another huge amount of money we will be out. I will be away from my children on Mother's Day so there is very little to be happy about. Just sitting for 6 hours in a airplane seat will be pure hell but no one seems to care