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Thread: On the verge of a mental breakdown...

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Huxley, Iowa
    Posts
    190

    On the verge of a mental breakdown...

    I have been so careful this time. SO CAREFUL. Not to bend, not to lift, not to lean...

    Tonight I felt the "Pop" again. The one that means a rod has broken. Maybe I have mistaken it...it's happened twice before...and its exactly what it felt like before, a POP, numbness, then scraping feeling. My lifts make me feel uneven, and changing positions send an "electric shock" feeling down my spine.

    We were supposed to find out if I had fused properly in less than 1 month. In less than one month I was supposed to be cleared to move on, to start a family. All I can think of is "NOT AGAIN." Pain, I can handle, but putting my husband through this again? Stopping my life AGAIN, no trying for kids for ANOTHER year?

    Sorry to be so whiny...I just don't know what to do or say at the moment. I am trying not to cry, my mom came down from the twin cities for a belated mother's day visit, and my husband has been so awesome in this. But...can I do it AGAIN?
    25 years old
    double 70+ degree curves before surgery
    Anterior on 11/11/08
    Posterior on 12/2/08 with titanium rods
    nearly perfect correction
    fused t-10 to pelvis
    with a hemi-vertebral osteotomy at L4

    Broke right rod at L4-L5 on 06/26/09
    Broke left rod on 10/24/09
    Revision surgery on 11/5/09 with vitallium rods
    Broke both rods again

    Had posterior than anterior revisions on 03/11 at the Twin Cities Spine Center
    Declared "FUSED" on 12/6/11

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    reno,nevada
    Posts
    3,535
    Fierce

    Oh no. I donít believe it. Lets hope this is a mistake and maybe it was just a muscle or ligament repositioning....

    Let us know what the Doctor says...
    Ed
    49 yr old male, now 58, the new 53...
    Pre surgery curves C12,T70,L70
    ALIF/PLIF T2-Pelvis 01/29/08, 01/31/08 7" pelvic anchors BMP
    Dr Brett Menmuir St Marys Hospital Reno,Nevada

    Bending and twisting pics after full fusion
    http://www.scoliosis.org/forum/showt...on.&highlight=

    My x-rays
    http://www.scoliosis.org/forum/attac...2&d=1228779214

    http://www.scoliosis.org/forum/attac...3&d=1228779258

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    2,755
    Quote Originally Posted by fierceliketiger View Post
    I have been so careful this time. SO CAREFUL. Not to bend, not to lift, not to lean...

    Tonight I felt the "Pop" again. The one that means a rod has broken. Maybe I have mistaken it...it's happened twice before...and its exactly what it felt like before, a POP, numbness, then scraping feeling. My lifts make me feel uneven, and changing positions send an "electric shock" feeling down my spine.

    We were supposed to find out if I had fused properly in less than 1 month. In less than one month I was supposed to be cleared to move on, to start a family. All I can think of is "NOT AGAIN." Pain, I can handle, but putting my husband through this again? Stopping my life AGAIN, no trying for kids for ANOTHER year?

    Sorry to be so whiny...I just don't know what to do or say at the moment. I am trying not to cry, my mom came down from the twin cities for a belated mother's day visit, and my husband has been so awesome in this. But...can I do it AGAIN?
    I thought they used materials now that weren't supposed to break. I'm sooo sorry to hear this. Best wishes.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Huxley, Iowa
    Posts
    190
    Ed-
    Unfortunately it seems as the day went on I was more and more sure it broke. Car rides are back to being bad, as are steps, as is moving to any position. :-(

    rohrer01- Usually they don't break, but they can. Its a VERY low percentage. I was told 1/2 of 1%, but I have heard as high as 3%. I have no idea what the percentage would be for it happening twice! I am just that lucky I guess.

    -Sara
    25 years old
    double 70+ degree curves before surgery
    Anterior on 11/11/08
    Posterior on 12/2/08 with titanium rods
    nearly perfect correction
    fused t-10 to pelvis
    with a hemi-vertebral osteotomy at L4

    Broke right rod at L4-L5 on 06/26/09
    Broke left rod on 10/24/09
    Revision surgery on 11/5/09 with vitallium rods
    Broke both rods again

    Had posterior than anterior revisions on 03/11 at the Twin Cities Spine Center
    Declared "FUSED" on 12/6/11

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    reno,nevada
    Posts
    3,535
    Fierce

    I sure hope you can get in quickly for an x-ray. Didnít they use BMP on your revision?

    If you did break your rod, this would be a vitallium break statistic.

    Also, the amount of time from fusion to breakage would be very close on both attempts.

    Sigh...

    Ed
    49 yr old male, now 58, the new 53...
    Pre surgery curves C12,T70,L70
    ALIF/PLIF T2-Pelvis 01/29/08, 01/31/08 7" pelvic anchors BMP
    Dr Brett Menmuir St Marys Hospital Reno,Nevada

    Bending and twisting pics after full fusion
    http://www.scoliosis.org/forum/showt...on.&highlight=

    My x-rays
    http://www.scoliosis.org/forum/attac...2&d=1228779214

    http://www.scoliosis.org/forum/attac...3&d=1228779258

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    798

    Thumbs up

    Fierce, I can't remember just what I wrote yesterday night, but I'll recap a little of it. First. I want you to know that when this site was "down" (for at least 12 hours) many messages were lost. Don't know how many, as I'm only aware of my own that disappeared, but one of them was to you here. Not only mine but at least one other person wrote encouraging words after me. Theirs and mine were deleted on your thread alone.

    Just so you know more people cared and wrote!

    The gist of mine was
    a) hope that it wasn't as you feared
    b) suggestion not to think about it, while you couldn't be sure as worry doesn't help (platitude )
    c) most of all, strong confidence in your ability to "make it" whatever is thrown your way!

    When you chose your net-name, you clearly spoke from the heart and self-knowledge and that's what comes across.

    Can you do it again you asked (if you have to, that is)?
    YES, OF COURSE! You're fierce!! You'll do what it takes, the same as always.

    And, hey, you're only 24! Sucks to have all this to deal with instead of your cherished life plans, but you have SO much time - and the inner strength to make of it what you will, despite setbacks.

    A word of question/caution too - about whether you're going through all this with the same surgeon.

    I had thought a "perfect correction" as you say you'd gotten, might lead to rod breakage and other problems - sometimes, anyhow. Might have this wrong, but it would certainly make sense at this point to have a second, third or even more opinions. I mean, even without a broken rod, just to make sure you have a back-up to whoever is following you if there's any chance everything is not picture perfect.

    I sure am before going under the knife! I only have one spine to last me the rest of my life, and I wish now I'd paid more attention to it when things were starting to go downhill. Instead, like so many mothers I focused on my children who both had/have special needs. They're much better off for my efforts, but OTOH, I who was strong and healthy, am now disabled. This is doing all three of us harm.

    Don’t take any chances!

    Apologies for the tangent. I want to make sure you appreciate your youth, your resilience and your courage. Sounds like you have a great husband too (who will someday make a great father. Choosing badly in that department, was my GREATEST error!)

    Since you're six years younger than my older son, I'll express my (genuine) confidence in you like a mother would! Sorry for the political plagiarism, but - since you asked, YES YOU CAN! And what's more, the more strength you show (and the better your self-care now and later) , the better mother you'll be when the time is ripe!

    Amanda
    Last edited by Back-out; 05-17-2010 at 12:11 PM.
    Not all diagnosed (still having tests and consults) but so far:
    Ehler-Danlos (hyper-mobility) syndrome, 69 - somehow,
    main curve L Cobb 60, compensating T curve ~ 30
    Flat back, marked lumbar kyphosis (grade?) Spondilolisthesis - everyone gives this a different grade too. Cervical stenosis op'd 3-07, minimally invasive

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia
    Posts
    3,261
    Yes, my posts have gone as well. I am pretty shocked that this could happen again and I am hoping it's not a breakage but don't know what else it could be, and since you've had it happen before, I guess you know what it feels like. I can't imagine how disappointing this must be.
    Surgery March 3, 2009 at almost 58, now 63.
    Dr. Askin, Brisbane, Australia
    T4-Pelvis, Posterior only
    Osteotomies and Laminectomies
    Was 68 degrees, now 22 and pain free

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Butte, Montana
    Posts
    114
    Hi there, Miss!! You know you can handle anything that comes your way. Please don't feel alone....my "Superman's" CT scan results came back and not only does he have the broken rod, pseudoarthrosis, but a fracture in the L5. I am learning that life is REALLY not fair. But, you've got me praying for you!!!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Huxley, Iowa
    Posts
    190
    Oh no! Poor Alex! How is he holding up? Is he having surgery soon then?
    25 years old
    double 70+ degree curves before surgery
    Anterior on 11/11/08
    Posterior on 12/2/08 with titanium rods
    nearly perfect correction
    fused t-10 to pelvis
    with a hemi-vertebral osteotomy at L4

    Broke right rod at L4-L5 on 06/26/09
    Broke left rod on 10/24/09
    Revision surgery on 11/5/09 with vitallium rods
    Broke both rods again

    Had posterior than anterior revisions on 03/11 at the Twin Cities Spine Center
    Declared "FUSED" on 12/6/11

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Huxley, Iowa
    Posts
    190
    Oh..also. I went to get my xrays done monday, they said that the university of iowa hospital would have them by wednesday, being that its thursday I gave them a call. Apparently the local hospital forgot to send them the cd rom, just sent the report. U of I doesn't trust their report. So, the local hospital is sending them by mail tomorrow. I won't know until next week. :-(
    25 years old
    double 70+ degree curves before surgery
    Anterior on 11/11/08
    Posterior on 12/2/08 with titanium rods
    nearly perfect correction
    fused t-10 to pelvis
    with a hemi-vertebral osteotomy at L4

    Broke right rod at L4-L5 on 06/26/09
    Broke left rod on 10/24/09
    Revision surgery on 11/5/09 with vitallium rods
    Broke both rods again

    Had posterior than anterior revisions on 03/11 at the Twin Cities Spine Center
    Declared "FUSED" on 12/6/11

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    3,745
    sorry you have to spend the wkend not knowing! i hope you get some good news next week!

    jess

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia
    Posts
    3,261
    Oh doesn't that give you the irits. Obviously they are people who've never been in the situation of desperately needing to know? Hang in there, Fierce!
    Surgery March 3, 2009 at almost 58, now 63.
    Dr. Askin, Brisbane, Australia
    T4-Pelvis, Posterior only
    Osteotomies and Laminectomies
    Was 68 degrees, now 22 and pain free

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    106

    Waiting

    Good luck with the waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think that is sometimes when you need the support the most because all of the what if's the revolve in your head. Hard to focus on the present which is just what you need to do. We are in the waiting mode for my daughter with her big medical visit. So you are not alone in the waiting arena! Hope you can find some pleasant distractions and support. A nightly beer has worked for my husband and I. Never did that before all of this surgery! And Thank God for LOST!

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