Getting a little nervous

[txmarinemom]

I was considering writing a note to my sons and asked my brother's advice on that, he just said that it would be emotionally draining to do that and cause me to have very negative emotions about the surgery, so I decided against doing that and focus instead as Ashley says - on a positive outcome and being healed afterward

Respectfully, Lynette, I don't think your brother can fully understand your position.

Like others, I prepared for every contingency - including "that" one. I wrote notes, I cleared up crap on my desk, and organized all my affairs. I put my DNR and MPoA in place, and made sure all my insurance and other beneficiaries were set.

Let me stress, I had *every* intention of coming home. That said, I didn't want anyone unsure of my wishes/lost in a pile of paperwork because *I* was sloppy. I never even saw "not coming home" as an option: Planning ahead certainly didn't begat "very negative emotions" for me. Looking forward empowered me.

It's no different than writing a will or buying life insurance. You do those with small kids, right? I raised my kids single most of their lives ... and I don't understand how planning for your family is inviting bad stuff into your life.

IF "bad" happens, planning PREVENTS a perpetuation of bad.

Regards,
Pam

[mbeckoff]

Lynette,

I have written those letters and have put them away in the case that they need to be used. They have made me feel better that my children will have a tangible item to hold on to to read and reread over and over again and again. Your children are much younger than mine and I certainly think that you should put aside your feelings and write letters to them in case the awful thing happens

You will be fine but this is just in case

god bless

Melissa

[LynetteG]

Thank you Melissa, Pam, and Shari. I really appreciate your good words of advice, and I agree with you all, it will make me feel better to do that. I will sit down and write out a letter to both my children, and letters to my mum and brother also. You're all absolutely right, it would give me peace of mind, and give them all something to have from me - just in case. Having said that, I also have absolutely every intention in coming home afterwards.

Without going into too much detail, I'm undergoing unbelievable horrific stress from my childrens father right now. He is pushing and pushing me and making my life almost unbearable at times, the whole situation with him and the court case is horrific, and I wish that I didn't have to deal with him or that whole mess, so that I could simply focus on this surgery and getting better afterwards. All of this recently has shown me that their father simply has no compassion, and is so very cold-hearted, and manipulative, it's very sad. My brother and my mum both worry for me and hate what this man is doing to me and how he affects my sons with the things he tells them, however, I don't want to put off this surgery any longer. I know that I wouldn't get as good a correction if I put it off any longer, and I don't want to have this kind of surgery when I'm older. Anyhow, just telling you guys what's going on and why I think I'm maybe more nervous than some others might be approaching surgery. My biggest fear is for my sons to be left behind with me gone, and having to go live with their father - which would be horrific for my boys. Having said all that, back to the positive outlook, and having trust in my surgeon and trust in God, I KNOW that all will be well and good

Thanks for reading this far, hope I'm not sounding like a whiner, and hope you all didn't mind me sharing this with you.

[txmarinemom]

You're not whining, hon. I seriously doubt anyone here can say they ~never~ had pre-op worries. Maybe some can ... I know I can't.

The only thing you can do going into this (or, really, at any time) is control what you can.

Whether it's faith or whatever that covers that uncontrollable part, you have to let *that* part go.

Hugs,
Pam

[LynetteG]

Thank you Pam You're an extremely smart lady, and I admire your knowledge on so many subjects and your great advice to all of us on here!

[Shari]

Sorry Lynette,

I got off track.

Shari