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  • I cannot relax

    My surgery is not until the end of next month/middle of March and I cannot relax.I burst into tears over nothing. I have headaches all of the time.Part of it is not knowing what the date will be. I cannot not know but I cannot harass my surgeon's secretary either. I do not like pain but yet I do not like drugs either. I have given birth to my two children with out any pain killers. I am scared to death about giving my own blood because I have no veins and it usually takes several sticks before they can find a vein. Then I have serious black /blue bruising going on for a week to ten days.

    My heart is racing all of the time and I am having anxiety attacks constantly .

    I just need it to be over

    Help!!

    Melissa

  • #2
    Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation Melissa. I too was very scared and in fact cancelled out on my first surgery. Believe me, many are very nervous but the time passes and we somehow get through it. Then, if they are like me, they are on a high for a year, just out of pure relief! You can do it Melissa.

    But, before I go on any further. My GP gave me some mild anti-anxiety meds and they helped A LOT!!! They really got me through what ended up being 9 months from Surgeon's appt. to surgery. I stopped taking them in hospital and haven't needed them since. They did their job of getting me through the worst time which is the waiting period pre-op.

    About giving blood. I didn't give any. My surgeon doesn't request it. Speak to your surgeon, tell him how worried you are about this. If you need blood and you may not, there is always the blood bank blood, which I was given. It's very safe these days, so there's nothing to worry about there.

    I know all about the racing heart and anxiety attacks. Please speak to your doctor and ask for some help to get through this time. There's no need for you to be feeling this bad. I got the help I needed and believe me, I am still grateful for it!

    Sending *hugs*
    Surgery March 3, 2009 at almost 58, now 63.
    Dr. Askin, Brisbane, Australia
    T4-Pelvis, Posterior only
    Osteotomies and Laminectomies
    Was 68 degrees, now 22 and pain free

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Melissa. My surgery is far away, but I can relate to the racing heart and anxiety. There were other issues going on in my life that caused this recently. I'm sort of a natural type and have hardly ever used even an antibiotic, but I am now taking an anti anxiety medication that has saved my life called paxil. It has helped enormously and has kept me very even. I believe that it will help me cope with the surgery as well. You may need something to get you through the next few months. All the best, Joy

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Melissa,

        So sorry to hear about your anxiety. Is your Doctor able to put you in touch with a previous patient, so that maybe you could have a chat over the phone. This worked for me. Personally, i think this is a normal reaction (anxiety) when faced with this surgery. I broke down in tears the day i got told about my scoliosis and then broke down again at my pre-op appt at the hospital... and.... i got teary when they were wheeling me down to the holding bay for surgery. ( I wasn't this bad even when they told me in 1989 that i had malignant melanoma) .Then... in theatre meeting the team, the feeling was gone. As for the blood donation thing, i donated two units but was crossmatched for the third. If you feel you can't do it, tell them. They will surely understand. My 5 cents worth (cause we don't have 2c anymore), take one day at a time, have a chat to your surgeon or his nurse, or speak to another patient. Take time out to relax and focus on other things - it works. Best of luck.
        Vali
        44 years young! now 45
        Surgery - June 1st, 2009
        Dr David Hall - Adelaide Spine Clinic
        St. Andrews Hospital, Adelaide, South Australia
        Pre-op curve - 58 degree lumbar
        Post -op - 5 degrees
        T11 - S1 Posterior
        L4/5 - L5/S1 Anterior Fusion

        Comment


        • #5
          I hear you! I am 18 days away from my surgery Just try and keep your mind occupied with anything you can.

          Let all your emotions flow forth, cry your eyes out until you are exhausted and you will relax. Exercise if you can, get those endorphins raging and scream at the sky that you wont let this surgery keep you down!
          45L/40T
          Surgery 25/1/2010
          Australia

          Knowthyself

          Scoliosis Corrected 25/1/2010 by Dr Angus Gray, Prince of Wales Private Hospital, Sydney. Fused T3-L4.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hey! I totally understand what you mean. I found my doctor Ivan Cheng in September of 09. And my curve was too aggressive for a brace, so he recommended surgery. I had all the tests/xrays/bloodtests/pre-op/etc. within the next 3 months. I was scheduled for surgery within 5 weeks. I had my dad schedule during winter break when it was in mid November. I think It happened so quick that I didn't really worry. Trust me, it's a hard surgery but you will get over it. Worrying won't help with anything but give you a hard time. Good luck with everything you go through, just remember you are not alone and there are thousands out there who go through the same.

            Try asking for some anti-anxiety pills like what Jennifer had just in-case. I'm sure they will help if you really are as nervous/worried as you stated.

            Good Luck

            Comment


            • #7
              Melissa,

              we all worried about this surgery. I had myself worried sick, and was fearful that I would never come out of the surgery. At least that's how I worried at first. I spent many MANY fearful nights up reading this forum and asking questions.

              Many people don't give blood. I also have the tiny vein problem, but I did end up giving almost one unit. The nice lady at the hospital blood center had to babysit my arm to keep it flowing, and it took 45 minutes, but I did it. Do you have any family members who have the same blood type that could give for you? I had my husband and son donate (we're all the same type.)

              I don't get why you can't ask the doctor's schedule person when you're scheduled for. You, of all people, should be kept in the loop.

              Be good to yourself during this time. Treat yourself to whatever makes you feel better and relax.

              Let us know if we can help. Getting specific questions answered helps. You know--the whole knowledge is power thing. It's really true. By the time my surgery came around, I was so much mentally stronger about the situation. You will too.
              __________________________________________
              Debbe - 50 yrs old

              Milwalkee Brace 1976 - 79
              Told by Dr. my curve would never progress

              Surgery 10/15/08 in NYC by Dr. Michael Neuwirth
              Pre-Surgury Thorasic: 66 degrees
              Pre-Surgery Lumbar: 66 degrees

              Post-Surgery Thorasic: 34 degrees
              Post-Surgery Lumbar: 22 degrees

              Comment


              • #8
                I was also terribly anxious before my surgery but I got strangely calm a couple of weeks before it. In my opinion, the anticipation is worse than recovery, because you live in the future. Once the surgery is over, you are simply focusing on recovery and everything seems much more manageable.

                One thing that helped me a lot before surgery was getting as physically tired as possible -- in my case, walking miles and miles every day and doing Pilates besides. It helped me sleep and got me in good physical condition.
                Chris
                A/P fusion on June 19, 2007 at age 52; T10-L5
                Pre-op thoracolumbar curve: 70 degrees
                Post-op curve: 12 degrees
                Dr. Boachie-adjei, HSS, New York

                Comment


                • #9
                  Melissa,

                  I can appreciate what your going through...along with many others as well. You are experiencing Anxiety no doubt about it. We have all been there. You really should talk with your surgeon. I had trouble sleeping the month before my surgery which in turn brought on my headaches. Talk to him. It will do you no good to wear yourself out before surgery. You should be focussing on eating healthy, sleeping well and a exercising if your body is able to do so. Feeling the way you do right now is going to prevent all that. Not to mention you want to be able to enjoy the time with your family while you can because you'll be out of commission soon enough.

                  I had my surgery in a military facility and was fortunate not to have to donate any blood. They used the cell saver which is a machine that cleans the blood while surgery is in progress. I'm sure they use it for everyone these days, but they used other's donated blood....which was fine by me. I don't like having to donate but would have if neccessary. This was just the way my hospital handled things. I ended up loosing 6 or 7 pints of blood during surgery I think. Again, speak to your doctor about how you are feeling. If they are put out with your needing these measures prior to surgery than I would question whether or not they have YOUR best interests at heart. Good luck and keep us posted! I'll be saying prayers for you :O)
                  Susan

                  Diagnosed at 10, Boston brace from 11-13 yrs old.
                  50* Lumbar w/ 5 centimeter shift to the left and slight rib hump...
                  Surgery Date: April 15 and April 22, 2009
                  X-LIF approach for disc repair L5,L4,L3,L2
                  Posterior Approach for fusions L5-T5
                  Dr. Fox @ Naval Medical Center Portsmouth
                  Nice and straight now!!!!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Melissa--
                    Lots of good advice here. My surgeon didn't seem inclined to give me anti-anxiety meds but I didn't push it. I wish I had. You'd probably do better with your GP at home for that. Also as others suggest exercise, exercise. I spent a lot of time doing that and anything else to stay totally busy! You'll make it. The waiting is really tough. Also, I did have a relaxation tape that I listened to also that went along with a book about getting yourself ready mentally for serious surgeries. It's probably on here somewhere but can't remember woman's name and I gave the book to someone else. I used it each day--I think it did help me. Janet
                    Janet

                    61 years old--57 for surgery

                    Diagnosed in 1965 at age of 13--no brace
                    Thoracic Curve: 96 degrees to 35 degrees
                    Lumbar Curve: 63 degrees to 5 degrees
                    Surgery with Dr. Lenke in St. Louis--March 30, 2009
                    T-2 to Pelvis, and hopefully all posterior procedure.

                    All was posterior along with 2 cages and 6 osteotomies.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thank you so so so much

                      When I put the post on here last night, I was sure that no one would even look at it , let alone answer it.

                      I am surprised that all of you answered me and had so many great ideas.

                      First of all, I did speak with my surgeon's secretary this morning and I have a surgical date of March 11. It is too far away for my brain , but I will have to deal with it. I don't suppose I will making a chain like we used to do at Christmas and tearing a link off every night.

                      I am going to ask my GP for an anti-anxiety drug to help calm me down.

                      I am going to look for a book about getting ready to major surgery.

                      About giving blood, I am sure that my surgeon who is super nice , will consider alternatives that up until you guys brought them up I did not even know they existed.

                      I have one more question, allright , we all know that I will always have one more question until I am rolling down the hall towards the ER and then when I wake will have another so let's say this is my one more question for right now

                      Why do some people say that they have slept 3 months in recuprating and others say it is more like a month?

                      Thanks so much guys

                      I will get thru this and get to the other side

                      Wiat , I do have another question . This is for the older folks. I am 50 years old . How did I get thru all of the scoliosis screenings that they did in school and was never DX? I always remmeber my Mother saying to me sit up straight or why can't you ever walk right or why don't your dresses hang right?

                      Thanks

                      How do you get a signature?

                      Melissa

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi Melissa,

                        Advice on blood donation. If you have small veins, save them for your surgery. I used to draw blood donors and the needle is 18 guage and can do a lot of damage to your veins if they probe around. Check out other threads on this site about blood donation.

                        Go to the NSF website and check out their book list for scoliosis surgery. One good one is by David Wolpert. Sorry I don't remember the name of it.

                        For Anxiety, there is a very good set of CD's by Peggy Huddleston. It helps with relaxation. She also has written a book.

                        I also was diagnosed late in life. Even when my PCP ordered an x-ray, all he told me was that I have DDD. I guess some of the older Doctors aren't aware that there is a fix for scoliosis in older adults adults, or aren't trained to look for it.

                        About sleeping. Everyone is a different age, or has a different curve, or different quality of bone or heals at a different rate. Sleeping is the best healer that I know of along with proper nutrition.

                        I hope some of this helps. You will find the answer to most of your questions on this forum, so ask away.

                        Sally
                        Last edited by loves to skate; 01-07-2010, 03:46 PM.
                        Diagnosed with severe lumbar scoliosis at age 65.
                        Posterior Fusion L2-S1 on 12/4/2007. age 67
                        Anterior Fusion L3-L4,L4-L5,L5-S1 on 12/19/2007
                        Additional bone removed to decompress right side of L3-L4 & L4-L5 on 4/19/2010
                        New England Baptist Hospital, Boston, MA
                        Dr. Frank F. Rands735.photobucket.com/albums/ww360/butterflyfive/

                        "In God We Trust" Happy moments, praise God. Difficult moments, seek God. Quiet moments, worship God. Painful moments, trust God. Every moment, thank God.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hi Melissa-

                          I am in the same boat as you, although my surgery is a little later in the year. It is in June. I am already having tons of anxiety though. I find myself thinking about it alot during the day and worrying about it. Last week I ordered a few books and started reading them, and they have really helped. I totally recommend reading them. Others on this forum have told me about them. Here are the names of the books:

                          1. Scoliosis Surgery by Michael Wolpert
                          2. Scoliosis Sourcebook by Michael Neuiwirth (author is a scoliosis surgeon in NYC - great book, I read the whole book in 2 days and it answered alot of my questions.)
                          3. Pilates for Fragile Backs

                          To deal with my anxiety, I have been exercising every day and it has really, really helped. I basically just walk on the treadmill like 35-40 minutes a day. Everyone on this forum who has had the surgery has recommended exercising, and I am so glad I followed the advice. I started the day I made up my mind that I was going to get this surgery, which was about 4 months ago. I have lost 25 pounds (which was needed since 2 years ago I had my daughter). It just makes me feel better about going into the surgery and helps me deal with my anxiety.

                          Hang in there, you can do it!!

                          JenM
                          Surgery date: June 8, 2010 with Dr. Boachie
                          Thoracic curve: 55 degrees, corrected to 25 degrees
                          Lumbar curve: 58 degrees, corrected to 27 degrees
                          Posterior-only surgery, Levels T3-L3
                          31 year old mother of 2 young kids

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Just a correction to my previous post -

                            The author of the book Scoliosis Surgery is David Wolpert, not Michael Wolpert. He is a patient who went through scoliosis surgery back in 2002.
                            Surgery date: June 8, 2010 with Dr. Boachie
                            Thoracic curve: 55 degrees, corrected to 25 degrees
                            Lumbar curve: 58 degrees, corrected to 27 degrees
                            Posterior-only surgery, Levels T3-L3
                            31 year old mother of 2 young kids

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I was a lot older than most and having a more complex revision. Being a medical professional I knew the risks better than most but I did not want anti anxiety medication. What helped was talking to persons who actually went through it, set up my sun-room with a small bed, phone and TV,and hired help during the day, while my husband was working, who turned out to be a gem. So I focused on practical things and used spiritual tools to handle my feelings. My biggest problem was that a new washing machine broke as I was doing all the wash in advance.

                              One person I knew was taking Xanax(3 times a day) for for anxiety awhile and when questioned by the anesthesia personnel about her medications she said she took it "as needed". When her surgery took place the sudden Xanax withdrawal gave her seizures and the doctors were clueless until they found out later it was Xanax withdrawal.
                              Original scoliosis surgery 1956 T-4 to L-2 ~100 degree thoracic (triple)curves at age 14. NO hardware-lost correction.
                              Anterior/posterior revision T-4 to Sacrum in 2002, age 60, by Dr. Boachie-Adjei @Hospital for Special Surgery, NY = 50% correction

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