I am so bummed! :(

[valleygirl]

My surgery is scheduled for 9/8 – less than 3 weeks away. I’ve finished donating my own blood, have my pre-op appointments set up and am in the process of getting things set up at home. Everything is moving along rather smoothly, then, WHAM!… 17 year old daughter gets injured practicing volleyball for the Varsity team (she’s worked so hard & waited so long to be on the Varsity team). She has sprained her right ankle (luckily it’s not broken), and can’t walk on it. She’s using crutches (which she hates) and she really needs her mom to take care of her (read “wait on her” ). Doctor says if she’s not better in a couple of days, she may have to go into a cast. I feel so bad for her. Plus due to my own pain, I’m only able to give her limited help.

How am I supposed to plow ahead and have this surgery when she can’t even walk on her own 2 feet? She was never going to be my “primary” caregiver, but I was counting on her to help some - maybe only take care of the dogs. At the very least, I counted on her to be self-sufficient. There is no way my husband is going to be able to manage with 2 broken ladies in the house. I may just have to postpone my own surgery. Ugh…what a drag…I was so looking forward to being on the other side, now this. Oh well, we’ll just have to wait and see. I’ll give it another couple of days before I actually call to reschedule.

Sorry for unloading. I guess I just needed to vent a little!

Excuse me while I have my very own pity-party!

[loves to skate]

Hi Valleygirl,

I'm so sorry this has happened to your daughter just now when you need to focus on yourself. I hope she won't have to go into a cast, but if she does, she might get a walking cast and won't be as helpless as you might think, and youngsters do heal quickly. It must be tough facing major surgery when you have children still at home who have needs.

Feel free to vent anytime. That's what we are here for. I'll be thinking about you.

Sally

[leahdragonfly]

Hi ValleyGirl,

I am really sorry to hear of your dd's ankle injury. I am sure it seems daunting and overwhelming now, especially after blood donations, but I encourage you to keep your surgery date. I imagine your dd will doing better in three weeks, and it sounds like your pain is pretty bad.

I had a severe ankle sprain a few years ago (and I'm no teenager that's for sure!), couldn't walk without crutches for a week or so, but by three weeks time I was long since back to work, etc. I bet she will be doing much better by then.

Hang in there, everyone is entitled to little pity parties and venting here! That's what we're for. Please let us know how you're doing.

Take care,

[debbei]

Valleygirl,

check your PM's. ((Hugs))

[titaniumed]

Hi Gayle

I wouldn't let this bother you. Teens are very resilient with things like this. Even if she ends up in a soft cast, she will probably be kicking field goals with it next week!

Its hard waiting at the end. Try to stay calm and focused on your plans.

Good luck
Ed

[mgs]

First off, I'm glad your daughter didn't have a fracture - though sprains are not treat, either. . .hope she's back in the saddle soon, and her v-ball season is still a "go."

As I thought about the situation, I wondered if maybe you're doing what I realized I'm doing: a major part of my life is taking care of my family, and it's going to be very hard on meto not be able to do that when I'm post-op. When someone's sick, I won't be able to bring food and meds, and pamper. When someone's injured, I won't be able to help them. When someone forgets something, I won't be able to run it over to the school. All of these little things that I've done for the past 25 years. . .I won't be able to do. My brain tells me that my husband and my 5 offspring, ages 16 - 25 (and all who will be away at school by next week) are certainly capable of managing on their own. BUT, my heart says, "But I want to be the person taking care of them." My fourth kid is leaving for his freshman year of college on Thurs. I'll be in the hospital. (I told him to make sure his father takes what has become my traditional "college-bound student packing up car to head off to the next phase of life" photo.)

There's no way that 6 people are going to stay healthy, uninjured and remember everything they need to remember for the several weeks/months it will take me to resume my usual life. Any of us who are parents are in that same boat. It's another part of what makes such a long recovery difficult.

[valleygirl]

Thanks folks, for all the encouragement.

So far, my daughter is getting better. Her swelling is still there, but it is better. She's having a tough time laying around and keeping her ankle elevated. She's bored...she's soooo 17.

Sally and Gayle, thanks for your understanding. I'll keep your words and thoughts in my head as time moves ahead. It does help a lot.

My husband doesn't want me to change my date either. At least not yet! We are definitely in the wait and see mode for the next couple of days.

Ed, is it ok with you if I pretend your response was for me even though you directed it to Gayle? If it is, I really do appreciate your encouragement and I will try to stay focused.

mgs, I'm sure you hit the nail on the head. It's hard enough to let go of all the family responsibilities when everything is fine, but when your baby is hurting, the motherly instincts just take over. I guess I'm still trying to be "supermom". Thanks for helping me see this with a clearer perspective.