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  • Emotional aspect of recovery?

    Just wondering if I'm the only one who is having emotional issues during recovery? I'm three and half weeks post-op and although I try to keep positive, a lot of the time it's quite hard. I mean I'm happy with how everything has turned out and I know I'm lucky to have been able to have surgery but I just feel down a lot of the time. I won't be able to see my boyfriend for another week or two at least so I guess that's part of it too. I get frustrated with my brace and just feeling limited and needing help. Anyone know where I'm coming from or have any tips? Thanks so much
    Diagnosed at the age of 18 (2004)
    46° curve
    Surgery scheduled for April 27, 2009 - Anterior fusion from T12 - L3

  • #2
    I am 3 months out and I am acutely aware of the emotional side of recovery. As grateful as I am that the surgery fixed my kyphosis, emotionally I am a mess of any given day. It is an enormous surgery and recovery takes quite a long time from what I am told. I feel at 3 months I should be further along than I am and that depresses me. Dropping things on the floor and attempting to pick them up can bring on quite a roller coaster of feelings. It is part and parcel of having such an extensive surgery and is something we have to get used to. I guarantee there are many people on this site who know exactly what you and I are talking about.
    avis
    1987 Lumbar Laminectomy (forget which levels)
    2005 A/P fusion, L2 - L5, 2/2005
    2009 2 Posterior fusions, T6 - Pelvis, 2/10 & 2/18,
    Dr. Frank Rand, NEBH

    Comment


    • #3
      Oh YES, there was a huge emotional component for me. I cried almost every day for months. In my case I'm certain that being on Oxycontin had something to do with it (I was on it for 8 months) because I felt better after I got off it.

      When I was a year post-op, my 13-year-old daughter told me that I had undergone a "major personality change" since the surgery -- and not for the better. I have felt much more like myself in the past six months or so, much to my family's relief. It took me quite a while to just put the whole thing behind me and get on with life.
      Chris
      A/P fusion on June 19, 2007 at age 52; T10-L5
      Pre-op thoracolumbar curve: 70 degrees
      Post-op curve: 12 degrees
      Dr. Boachie-adjei, HSS, New York

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi...

        Depression is a common side effect post-op. You should report this to your surgeon or primary care physician.

        Regards,
        Linda
        Never argue with an idiot. They always drag you down to their level, and then they beat you with experience. --Twain
        ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
        Surgery 2/10/93 A/P fusion T4-L3
        Surgery 1/20/11 A/P fusion L2-sacrum w/pelvic fixation

        Comment


        • #5
          emotions

          Cinbom,

          I am right there with you on the emotional roller coaster. For me one of the hardest things is not being able to pick up my 15 month old. When he holds out his arms to be picked up it reduces me to tears and sobs. I hate it. I am trying to remember that a year from now I will being running around with him.

          Also, I always thought I had a fairly high threshold for pain. I am beginning to rethink that one. Pain now reduces me to tears and I am trying to be strong but as I am sure you know, pain is exhausting. I prepared myself mentally as much as I could prior to surgery. You can't really understand until you actualy walk the walk. I am lucky I have a great support system but I tend to not let people see me in a weakened state so when I do cry then I just feel worse. It certainly helps to talk with others who have already gone through what we are going through. Your family and friends just don't truly get it. I know a lot of people say the meds also have a large part to do with how you are feeling emotionally. I would have to agree with that.

          If you feel it is more than just the meds maybe you should mention it to your doctor. You may feel better once you do. My husband reminds me at least 20 times a day that my body has been through a very tramatic surgery and it is going to take time to feel normal again. I will say this though, when I wasn't eatting well my emotions were worse. When I eat good I tend to handle things better. Good luck and remember you are not alone on your emotional roller coaster.....although I think we are ready for a different ride lol! Take care and feel better soon!
          Susan

          Diagnosed at 10, Boston brace from 11-13 yrs old.
          50* Lumbar w/ 5 centimeter shift to the left and slight rib hump...
          Surgery Date: April 15 and April 22, 2009
          X-LIF approach for disc repair L5,L4,L3,L2
          Posterior Approach for fusions L5-T5
          Dr. Fox @ Naval Medical Center Portsmouth
          Nice and straight now!!!!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Cinbom and Susan, We all had our surgeries at around the same time and I can say that I'm struggling with the emotional piece as well. I've been telling my family all week that I just need one day off from recovery, then I'd be fine to get back to it . I cry at expected and unexpected times. I know a lot of it is due to the meds, and a lot is due to the lack of independence, but I know that some of it is simply due to the magnitude of this operation as Susan's husband said (my husband keeps reminding me of that as well.) I also think you are right, no one really understands unless they have "walked this walk". As prepared as we were

            Cinbom, I feel for you with not being able to see your boyfriend whenever you want/need. I am so emotionally needy right now, I don't know what I'd do without my husband and daughter at home. I hope you get to see him soon and that you have other caring people in your life to lean on.

            Susan, I feel for you with your eighteen month old. I struggle with similar feelings with my grandaughter. I can't see her as often as I used to (yet)and when I do it's very different. I can't even imagine how you feel being the mommy!

            You are right though, a year from now you will be so much better off for doing this. I keep reminding myself that before surgery, my pain and limitations just kept getting worse. Now at least we are all just getting better ...slowly ...but at least we are headed in the right direction.
            -Jo

            Diagnosed at age 12
            Milwalkee Brace worn Faithfully 1971-1977
            Posterior Fusion T-9 to Pelvis- April 28, 2009
            Dr Frank Rand, NEBH, Boston

            Comment


            • #7
              emotions

              Jo,

              You mentioned that you are emotionally needy right now. I think that is ALOT of my problem. I hadn't thought of it in that way but once you said it I knew that was part of the problem.

              My husband does a wonderful job taking caring of me but is so busy running errands and doing yard work, running kids to hockey that I get meds, food and helped with my brace and that's about sums it up. We absolutely have not spent more than 5, maybe 10 minutes at a time talking with each other. I am sure he's burnt out. I am not normally a needy person at all and that makes it very difficult.

              Lets just all try and remember how fast time really does fly by. I am a month out from surgery today. I though I would be feeling better but on the flip side I have come a really long way. As I'm sure we all have. Let's face it we couldn't even go to the bathroom alone! It's hard to always stay positive when you are in pain. for me it comes in waves. I can be fine one minute and in agony then next......can't wait for that to pass! i have one hour before I get my muscle relaxer for night time and pain meds and I can't wait to go to sleep tonight!

              Hope you both can hang in there, It can only get better from here.
              Susan

              Diagnosed at 10, Boston brace from 11-13 yrs old.
              50* Lumbar w/ 5 centimeter shift to the left and slight rib hump...
              Surgery Date: April 15 and April 22, 2009
              X-LIF approach for disc repair L5,L4,L3,L2
              Posterior Approach for fusions L5-T5
              Dr. Fox @ Naval Medical Center Portsmouth
              Nice and straight now!!!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                It's a big relief reading all your replies. I thought I was the only one feeling this way. I also agree with the emotional neediness. Most of the time I'm OK but I have my moments where I just feel quite overwhelmed with everything. It's pretty tough but hopefully it doesn't last much longer for all of us.
                Diagnosed at the age of 18 (2004)
                46° curve
                Surgery scheduled for April 27, 2009 - Anterior fusion from T12 - L3

                Comment


                • #9
                  I'm so glad I read this thread today. I felt good about everything until post op week 3; then I started getting frustrated with the things I couldn't do and not getting to sleep like I was used to. I really wanted just one day of preop living to regroup. I keep getting bored, I see things that need to get done but I can't do them. A few times I have tried and paid dearly for it the next 3-4 days. I'm 6wks out now and may be a little better, I still tear up often. I'm off my pain medication and take muscle relax only at night. I go back to work on Wednesday; I hope I am ready.
                  ~Em

                  Diagnosed at 13, Milw brace-didn't wear it like I should have.
                  pre-surg 78* Thoracic,
                  post-surg 22* Thoracic.
                  Fusion from T2 to L2 scheduled for April 15, 09 in Tulsa, OK

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Em,

                    Try to go easy on yourself! I know it is hard to look around your house and see it not the way you would want it. I am having a very hard time with that...it's the worst. I may possibly even loose my mind soon. As I said in my previous message, I am amazed that your off your pain meds. I feel as though the Dr. doesn't have me on enough or the right combo of meds. Prior to surgery I did have a lot of servere muscle issues so it's no surprise that it is going to take time for my muscles to settle in to their new shape. I was hoping it would not be as painful though. My Dr. did put me on Zanaflex for night time muscle spasms which has made a big difference. My whole rib cage would spasm and I could hardly breath, it was a little scary to say the least.

                    Also, for anyone else out there, I am wondering if anyone has had any trouble breathing postop. I had an side/lateral approach and posterior approach but there are times when my breathing just isn't right. It is either very quick and with short shallow breaths that hurt in the front of my chest and in the back. Other times I can only take a deep breath if I do it really slow. Is this a normal part of healing or should I ask the doc? With how I felt so tired and just "off" yesterday, I am beginning to wonder. I feel better too day, but certainly don't feel like getting out there and walking that's for sure Maybe I will take just one more lazy day and see how things are. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend! Take care
                    Susan

                    Diagnosed at 10, Boston brace from 11-13 yrs old.
                    50* Lumbar w/ 5 centimeter shift to the left and slight rib hump...
                    Surgery Date: April 15 and April 22, 2009
                    X-LIF approach for disc repair L5,L4,L3,L2
                    Posterior Approach for fusions L5-T5
                    Dr. Fox @ Naval Medical Center Portsmouth
                    Nice and straight now!!!!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by asccbodypro View Post
                      Em,

                      Also, for anyone else out there, I am wondering if anyone has had any trouble breathing postop.
                      Hi Susan (asccbodypro),

                      There is a post from a few weeks back about the breathing pain that you may find helpful, you're not alone!:

                      http://www.scoliosis.org/forum/showthread.php?t=8770
                      Age 25 at time of correction
                      Sergery March 6th, 2009
                      T4 to L4

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Cimbon-
                        I think we had surgeries at almost the same time (a day apart or so). I cry a lot and am so MAD that everyone has to do everything for me. I'm scared to death that I will twist or bend wrong and all this will be for not.

                        My primary care physician convinced me to try anti-depression meds which I have NEVER used before because I was such an emotional wreck in his office.

                        The pain is so much more than I remembered - especially in the lumbar region. I hate sitting. I get tired when standing in one place. I can walk some but tire out...I'm sick of lying down. I tell you I make one awful patient!

                        My family has been sooooo patient...I don't know why but I don't no when this pain will end!

                        Always Smilin'
                        Colleen

                        1982 fused T2-L1
                        pre op 45 - post op 33 (left thoracic)
                        pre op 53 - post op 18 (right thoracic)

                        recheck 2006
                        right thoracic 57
                        lower lumbar 34

                        surgical revision April 28,2009
                        revision T3-L1; new fusion L1-L4
                        unsure of degrees at this point

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'm also not sure if I'm happy with the correction achieved. I really just wanted to have even hips and although they look better than before, my left hip still seems to be more prominent. This confused me because the post-op x-ray shows my spine to be almost perfect and my surgeon also confirmed this. I would assume my hips should also be the same then? I hope it improves but I'm not holding my breath.
                          Diagnosed at the age of 18 (2004)
                          46° curve
                          Surgery scheduled for April 27, 2009 - Anterior fusion from T12 - L3

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Cimbom View Post
                            I'm also not sure if I'm happy with the correction achieved. I really just wanted to have even hips and although they look better than before, my left hip still seems to be more prominent. This confused me because the post-op x-ray shows my spine to be almost perfect and my surgeon also confirmed this. I would assume my hips should also be the same then? I hope it improves but I'm not holding my breath.
                            Cimbom ... the post-op depression is normal ... most don't get to where they think they should be in recovery as soon as they think they should. Hang in there ... it does get better.

                            As far as your body adjusting, give it time. Muscles that have been short for so many years need to be stretched, and you may still have an ingrained, skewed, visual perception (that's not all that uncommon either).

                            Right now, focus on healing and getting stronger. Self-critique, if necessary, will wait as long as you let it .

                            Regards,
                            Pam
                            Fusion is NOT the end of the world.
                            AIDS Walk Houston 2008 5K @ 33 days post op!


                            41, dx'd JIS & Boston braced @ 10
                            Pre-op ±53°, Post-op < 20°
                            Fused 2/5/08, T4-L1 ... Darrell S. Hanson, Houston


                            VIEW MY X-RAYS
                            EMAIL ME

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by always smilin' View Post
                              Cimbon-
                              I think we had surgeries at almost the same time (a day apart or so). I cry a lot and am so MAD that everyone has to do everything for me. I'm scared to death that I will twist or bend wrong and all this will be for not.

                              My primary care physician convinced me to try anti-depression meds which I have NEVER used before because I was such an emotional wreck in his office.

                              The pain is so much more than I remembered - especially in the lumbar region. I hate sitting. I get tired when standing in one place. I can walk some but tire out...I'm sick of lying down. I tell you I make one awful patient!

                              My family has been sooooo patient...I don't know why but I don't no when this pain will end!
                              Does Dr Tribus know the extent of your pain level? I know they are not the most friendly group to deal w/on the inital call, but maybe an xray to check for loose screws is in order? When I had issues sleeping due to my lower left side(still on the couch for those who remember my ranting and raving) and couldnt get more than a few hrs of sleep per night, I called the office and due to fact I wasnt sleeping and the kind of pain i was having, he wanted to rule out hardware malfuncion...which thankfully it wasnt.

                              Just an idea.....
                              Lynn -30.... something
                              DxD @ 8 yrs old: 10* curve-no brace-no nothin'!
                              At age 26: Thorasic 48*/Lumbar 50*
                              At age 34: Thorasic 58*/Lumbar 60*
                              Posterior T5-L4 Fusion Jan 14th, 2009 w/Dr Tribus
                              UW Madison, WI Hospital
                              **AFTER: less than 10* Thorasic/15* Lumbar**

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