My update.

[dalmatica]

I haven't posted or even read through this site since last December. I'm so busy being mom to my three year old daughter so any chance I have to myself is spent trying to rest.

I was originally fused from T3 through L5 in December, 98. Life was wonderful afterward, (was before too) and I even continued showing my horse (riding) and had a baby one month shy of my 47th b-day. Yes, I had a C-section with full anesthesia.

In May, 07, I had revision because both of my rods broke. That all came apart within months and after a trip to see Dr. B in NYC, an encounter with the infamous Theresa, losing my job because none of my docs would release me to work nor could I, and walking bent over and sideways with a walker, I again had revision (April, 08). I had A/P surgery spaced four days apart with an IVC filter put in in between. I am now standing straight up but I am in no way close to being in the shape I was before 2007. I am fused T3 through S1. I can really notice a difference in my flexibility or lack thereof. My stomach feels like it is going to fall out, I am in almost constant pain and live on pain meds. So why am I writing this? I am just wondering if any of you feel like I do? On the plus side, I do get SSI and I get to be a stay-at-home mom. I am just a physical disaster. I can ride my stationary bike for an hour and do basic house work but nothing like before. My doctor, who is wonderful, told me that I have freakishly small pedicles so that is why my first revision came apart. There is really nothing to attach it to. My rods now attach to a few thoracic vert. and then a few bottom lumbar ones and into my sacrum. I worry that I will again have to face all this and I really don't think that I could physically do it. It was a hideous ordeal. I am a strong woman and when I think how this has knocked me on my butt I can't believe it.

And speaking of getting knocked on your butt, have any of you taken a spill? I fall like a tree and have done so three times since last year. Slipped on the ice, tripped, those kind of things.

Does ANYONE feel like I do??? Krysi

[Susie*Bee]

Krysi-- what a bittersweet post. It's so good to hear from you and that you are so busy being a mom and all, but then I'm so sorry to hear you are having a rough time. It's taken me a long time to feel fairly strong, but I have limitations... I ache sometimes but wouldn't call it actual (as in strong) pain. You are just a year out and that's really not that long. I am soooo much farther along this year than last (I'm approaching my 2 year mark). Hopefully you will just take longer to recover than some. The people posting in recent months seem to be bouncing back quicker than what I remember people posting a year or so ago.

I understand what you mean with your statement "I am a strong woman and when I think how this has knocked me on my butt I can't believe it." I was amazed too, with myself... and although I am thrilled for so many who bounce back quickly, it frustrates me with myself that I didn't. I guess we just have to work with however our bodies react to the surgery. I know it has nothing to do with attitude as I've been quite upbeat, positive, and in general very pleased with my progress almost all the time and thought I was doing great until I read about how some others were doing. Even though I feel like somehow I lost out, I still am quite pleased with my progress and think I'm doing just fine. I did a post a little while ago that dealt with that-- that it was like the tortoise and the hare... hopefully we'll get there eventually.

I hope your doctor/surgeon is still keeping track of how you're doing and is addressing your concerns. If not, then I think you need to make sure he knows what is going on. Krysi-- it was really good to hear from you. I hope that you find some help and some support and encouragement too. Hugs, Susie

[dalmatica]

Susie,

Thank you for such a nice reply! My surgeon keeps telling me that if only 10% of his patients would have my toughness and attitude his job would be so much easier. Then I think to myself, good God, that 90% must be in really bad shape! I'm sure I am not giving myself time to heal. It's just that it is taking so long this time. But in my doctor's words "well you where sawed in half", then I should try to keep things in perspective. I pass the one year mark today. I saw my doc about one month ago and he practically begged me not to ride for another six months. He didn't need to ask twice. Oh well, I'll just keep chugging along.

Fox News had a report on this morning about Oxycodone and how seven states are now totally banning its sale because of abuse. My PC just switched me to time release tablets because our pharmacy can't get 5, 10, or 15 mg tablets anymore. Today is the first day that I am feeling a little better since last week. I think it is a combination of four egg hunts with the little one, the wet, cold weather here, and getting used to the different type of dosage.